Culture Shock

        Robert didn’t have to wait long before his waitress arrived.  He was starving from his trip “down south” from good old Michigan so food was a welcome thought, “Hey hun! My name is Sally May, and I’ll be your waitress tonight.  Would you like some coke, honey? Or maybe some iced tea?”

         “Coke?  Uh. . . I don’t particularly like coke.  Don’t you have any other kinds of pop?”  Robert replied meekly.

         The waitress looked a bit concerned but answered, “Well we got lots of different kinds of drinks if that’s what you are wantin hun though it’s a little early don’t ya think?  Let’s see . . . here is our menu with beers, wines, and mixed drinks.”

         Robert tried to stay calm, “Uh . . . no that is not what I meant.  I don’t drink.  I asked for a pop.  What kinds do you have?”

         “Well I offered ya coke and tea sir.  I’m not sure what ya want.”

         “Is coke ALL you have???  Geez-o-pete!  Just forget it!! Bring me some iced tea please.” 

         “Well that I can do hun! I’ll be right back with that.”  Sally May said, pleased to be of service.

         Robert waited as patiently as he could for his drink, but what patience he had was draining quickly.  He was exhausted from the trip and needed some caffeine.  Where was that waitress and who in the world gave her that name!?

         “Here’s your tea hun.” Robert gingerly took a sip of the tea as Sally May looked on with her ever-present smile waiting to be praised on the restaurant’s world renowned tea.  Sadly, she was disappointed as Robert spewed the first drink of his tea across the table then began making an awful gagging noise. 

         “What is this shit???”  Robert screamed

         “Well its just tea sir!” a confused Sally May replied.

         “It tastes like sugar water!”

         “You asked for tea sir and that is what I gave ya.  If you wanted it unsweet all you had to do was ask.”

         Robert lost it.  “Well did I ask! I simply asked for tea! What in the world would make you think I wanted it sweet.”

         “Well I never . . . where in the sam-hill are you from! You’ve been rather rude! I brought ya what ya asked for. That’s just how we do things in the south!  Whenever a body is kind to somebody that body should pay em back in the same!”  Sally May huffed and stalked away.

         All Robert could do was look at the woman in a daze.  He didn’t even know what that whole spiel meant!  “What rabbit hole have I fallen into. . .”