Lost Cause

         Darkness – so opposite to the shrill near-continuous howl of noise, that seeps in against the dust and smoke that never stops; The light joins it, but my eyes are shut tight, so all that’s left is darkness and screaming, the pain I felt earlier halted a few minutes back – am I’m dying? It won’t matter soon, my body is lucky to have been spared within this bubble of concrete and metal – I will die… It’s only a question of when… I get an itch in my brain, a thought that springs up so appealingly that I nearly jump on the band-wagon of my idea immediately; if I moved just an inch, I could end it; all my pain and suffering…

Just. One. Inch.

I halt… my memories flash through my brain, moving now would be selfish, ‘Can you do that to the people you love, Jenny?’ I contemplate… I can’t do that to the people I love… Can I? I hear more sirens: fire engine – I’ve been here so long I know exactly what siren is what –  but  I’m too far off the floor for it to reach the flames underneath my suspended ‘corpse’ – I may as well be dead, can’t move, can’t escape – they’re probably just there to dull the flaming debris closer to the earth… I’m a lost cause…
‘I should open my eyes’ I tell myself, but, my eyes don’t open, scared of what I’ll see; what if there’s a corpse that found its way above me? I’d definitely jump and that’d be it for me… But then again; I know that I won’t survive, but I just can’t convince myself that I really am a lost cause.

Not yet…

After half an hour; my eyes float open, – I thought about it fully and deduced it would do no more harm than just laying here – The light shines through layers upon layers of ruined metal, until it reaches where I am; the spot of warmth still touching my cheek, which feels insignificant compared to the roaring inferno blazing underneath me. ‘This is surreal’ I reflect to myself for the eighth time today… Why did they do it? What was there to gain? They lost their own lives for what? To destroy Two Towers…

The Twin Towers…

After another hour of speaking silently to myself, I feel something move, the heat; that’s how metal’s bent, right? Something cascades to my right making a loud jarring sound as it hits something just short of where I lay. It creates a domino effect, and soon, I’m sliding down… Into the inferno…

Into Hell…

I’ve avoided death, too many times now, but it’s not an issue that I’d care to dwell on right now…. ‘I may have a chance!’ I play with that thought in my mind, before realizing I need to get out – fast!
I drag myself up, and stumble along the dry scorched carpet, leg hurting, arm broken… I ignore the pain, I’ve managed it for hours, I can last a little longer, at least, that’s all I’ve got…
The staircase, approaching quickly like a shining knight in armour – that distracts me, I wonder if he’s safe? I get back to focusing on escape, running bare-footed across the heated floor that burns like hot coals; the pain increases, the way out has collapsed…
I want to cry, but the heat dissolves my tears before they can form. I give the staircase, or what’s left of it, an ambitious stare, challenging it to take me on.
‘Just try and kill me’ I dare the gap silently ‘I can’t die yet… I will escape, without fail…’ I step back before leaping across the canyon – smashing through the dry air all the while. As my feet connect to the floor - the lights go out…

And I’m lost in darkness again…

I breath heavily, crouching on the floor… the fire lights the staircase, but poorly, I look into room ahead of me, an hazy darkness fills the space, I peek below through the layers of floors.
I can’t just walk down there – the staircase has been completely decimated –  and I can’t jump – I’m far down the building, but with all things considered, I’m still very high up – I have no choice but to venture into the sinister room, and complete the formidable task of escaping…
I stride forward to the threshold, and then slow down immediately as I enter the shadowy light; that blocks most vision when coupled with the smoke, a. loud clanging breaks through – most outside noises have subdued, that means…
I dive out the way of the metal assassin that crashes into the room, not stopping to say his farewells before continuing his journey down; through the weakened structure of the building, dwindling it’s once monstrous strength further, until it’s close to collapsing…

I haven’t got long…

I charge through the room, smashing into desks, tripping over chairs, but evading fatality at every turn, I hit something with a different texture. I feel the lasting imprint of the dots –  brail? – burn on my head, since the heat of the blaze has affected them greatly, I feel for a button, and press, it’s what I thought… it’s an elevator!
I pray – even though I’m not religious – for the gods to have pity upon me ‘Please let the elevator be working still’ not matter how unlikely, I still hoped. A loud ding sets my heart alight, the elevator is still working, the lights must have been the only thing to go! I scurry into the darkened box and press ‘G’ as many times as I need to feel assured,
“Doors Closing” the voice sets my mind at ease “Going down” I sit in the box for no more than thirty seconds, though it feels like an eternity… Before the world is slanted on it’s side…

The elevator’s stuck…

I jolt with the sudden lurch of the elevator, the shaft must have been damaged in the attack, my head connects with warm metal and I feel pain shooting throughout my skull,
“I can’t… die yet… I… will escape, with…out fail…” I repeat, hearing my own voice rattle the bones in my skull for the first time in what feels like days.
I struggle to my feet manage to reach up to the emergency exit on the top of the elevator, the cover isn’t there – must have been knocked off by someone or something else – It takes a good 10 minutes of uncertainty to reach the roof of the elevator – My arm must have been snapped in two because I cannot physically move it… - It then takes a bit of time, but not to long, to reach the floor just above me, and open the outer doors of the shaft.
I clamber through the rubble – this floor has been showered by a lot of the debris from the upper floors – I stumble across the dirt and blood, through the offices lined with skeletons of people I would have known, I crash down the stairs – completely intact on this floor downwards – and fumble through the reception – this is all that’s left of it?
I run out through the holes that would have been front doors only a few hours back, and run through the luke-warm air of the outside world into safety’s arms… People swarming, cheerful, I’m a survivor… The only one?
I’ve escaped… But after what I’ve been through… The evil I’ve seen created by man…

Am I still just… a lost cause?