Lee Gets A New Laptop ( Humor)

LEE GETS A NEW LAPTOP


“Dammit ” Lee groaned, his computer had just crashed and died. “ Where will I get $3000 for another one?” Recently retired,getting by on two small pensions, left Lee with no wiggle room in his budget.

His friend Dennis Inkmann arrived for their weekly drinking session. Hearing of Lee’s
dilemma he offered a solution. “Buy the damn thing on credit, like everybody else.”

“That’s not my style.”

“Style? Now you got style? ”Denny cracked open the beer.

“ I need cash .”Lee took a beer.

“ How?”

“Denny,that’s what I’m asking you.”

“Dennis was clever, he had it “I’ve got it, get the money first ,then a computer.”

“ Denny boy, from whom do I get the money.?”

“ Easy, join a computer dating service, meet a partner, she gives you the money.”

“I havn’t any computer, remember?”

“ The library has.”

“ I can’t hang around down there for hours.”

“ You don’t have to. Just register your profile. Make sure you mention that you’re 6 feet
tall, a professional, and you like operas.”

“I’m 5’10” a truck driver, I hate operas”.

“ Do you want a new computer?”

“ O.K., O.K. I’m a six foot tall, opera loving professional. Then what?”

“Two days later 20 eager women will want to meet you. Take them for coffee.”

“All at the same time?”

“ No dummy, one at a time. Now tell me how many cups of coffee can you drink in a day?”

“ Ten, I guess.”

“ There, it will take you 2 days.”

“When do I get my computer money?”

“ After your search is down to the right woman.”

“How?”

“Easy, half the women will not like you.at all.”

“ How can I tell?”

“ They will be smiling, but their eyes will be closed."

“ O.K.,that leaves ten.”

“ Of those half will have money, the other half want money. Tell all 10 you have no money.
Five more finish with you right there. Now you have 5 with money, one will give it to you.”

“Which one? How do I ask?”

“Tell each you have a sick mother in Toronto. You need $3000 to go see her.”

“Will they believe that?”

“One will.”

” Which one?”

“ The one that lost her mother suddenly and did not get to see her."

“ How will I know?”

“ She will be crying as she reaches for her cheque book.”

“ Then I can buy my computer?”

“ Yes, but you have to stay at my place for a week first. Remember, you’ll be in Toronto
visiting your sick mother.”

“When I get back and she sees the new computer she will ask where I got it.”

“ Tell her your mother recovered and she surprised you with a parting gift.’”

“ You’re a good friend Denny Inkmann. You think of everything.”

“I’ll drink to that.Lee old buddy.”