How to Bake a Fuck up My Life Cake

Ingredients:

10 cups asshole
8 cups cruelty
6 cups abuse (3 cups physical & 3 cups emotional)
3 cups incest
2 cups isolation
1 cup secrets
1/2 cup each of sexual abuse from uncle, aunt, father, mike, jacob, brian, chico, gordon.


In a large bowl filled with 10 cups asshole, mix in 8 cups of cruelty with fist. If mixture doesnt mix right, use a big stick or a belt (buckle end) or even a steel-toed boot to pound in the mixture until it molds to your liking.

Next, stir in all 6 cups of abuse, starting with 3 cups physical abuse until it no longer feels pain, then 3 cups emotional abuse until it doesnt know how or what to feel anymore.


*Note*
The fourth ingredient can only be aded after years of physical and emotional abuse to ensure a proper cake.


The fourth ingredient is a two-step process. First add 2 cup incest with father at night, then add the last cup incest for any other time he needs & stir until mixture can sucessfully disassociate from self.

Now very slowly, over a period of years, add in 2 cups isolation. This will cause little or no friendships, feeling alone and thoughts of no one giving a shit. This ingredient will ensure the nest ingredient's sucess.

Add 1 cup of secrets, so it wont bother to tell anyone because no one was there to tell anyways.


*Note*
The last step of this cake is tricky but crucial to the cake's end result.


Quickly and sparadically, add in the 8-1/2 cups od sexual abuse from uncle, aunt, father, mike, jacob, brian, chico, gordon. You will know the cake is mixed well when you see it question its bounderies, it seeks love from authority figures but is terrified & does not want it, it avoids intimate relationships, its over-protective of its children, it has little trust - especially with men.

For those extra special fuck up days, add sprinkles of gifts for being a "good girl" and some near death experiences.

Place cake in oven for 32 years on low heat with intense heat at times to keep cake from turning out functional and whole.