Letter of Silent Love

Letter of Silent Love

February 14, 1943    12:06 am

Dear Ms. Isabelle,

         I never changed. I intend to write a letter for you at exactly 12 am today since its valentine’s day, but I overslept and it took me 6 minutes to realize. Tskk. And to think this is my very first valentine letter to anyone. I am shy and excited at the same time. Heh-Heh.

         Ahh! My heart will explode at any minute! I can’t explain what I’m feeling right now. Is it happiness? Excitement? Embarrassment? They’re all mixed up in my heart. As I hold this pen right now, I have hundreds of stories to tell you—stories about me, because I want you to know who I am; of who is Mian.

         And I want to know you very much as well. I want to know what you don’t like and dislike, your favorite food so I can learn to cook it, your favorite show so we could watch it together, your favorite place so I could always take you there, your favorite sports so we could play together, the thing you want the most so I could give it to you. I’ll understand you. I’ll sacrifice for you. I’ll accept who you are because…

You are the one I love the most.

         Heh-heh. I'm a bit shy actually. Although I say these words, in reality, I'm not confident of myself.

         But… I guess all of those things aren’t possible now. I have a disease and… the doctors said I only have less than a year to live. And it’s not a very common disease. It’s related to the deterioration of the brain.

         The other reason I decided to write this letter was because… as time pass by from this point on, I might forget about you and the feelings I have. One day, you might visit me with some of my classmates and it’s possible that when I see you, I won’t know you anymore.

         As much as possible, I want this letter the witness of my love for you. I will keep this close to me and read this over and over again because I want to remember the feelings I have for you. The one I kept from that very day and until now.

         Ahh, I nearly forgot to mention. I bought this gift for you. It’s not much. I bought it with my own saved money just so I could give it to you. I’m a little embarrassed. I asked my little sister to secretly place it at your desk. I hope you will like it; since you like to sing. You mentioned it before to us.

         I wish you all the luck. I pray that God guide you in every moment of your life. Don’t forget to take your medicines in case you feel something wrong again. And please refrain from eating those foods that damage your health. I don’t want something bad to happen. I don’t want you to be hospitalized, too. I want you to live a longer life than me. Although you are many years older than I, I do believe you can still do many things for the world and for yourself.

         Treasure your life. It’s very important to me and I promise I will watch over you in heaven.

         Shit. I can’t stop these stupid tears. I guess I just love you this much to cry that I will never be able to say hi to you again, or to wave at you whenever we see each other at the school’s hallways, or to enroll in your class anymore. I will never be able to listen to your jokes that I am the only one who laughs… just kidding…

         But this something I wonder, can I still dream in heaven about you? Well, I think I can only answer that if I will go to heaven…

         I will only say this once because repeating it would hurt me much… I… love you… and I’ll always will…. :’

         I won’t say goodbye because I hate it, so I’ll just say… Until we meet again…my dear teacher…

Take care,
Mian

         At one of the units’ balcony at the fifth floor, a woman holding a letter was crying silently. She looked above at the stars and smiled with an unexplainable ache in her heart. Her heavy footsteps made its way to the bed and she let her head rest on the pillow.

         The G-clef gold broche designed with diamonds was glimmering against the lamp’s light on the end table. She reached for it and held it tight against her chest.

“Thank you… Mian…”

*Edited.

Author's note: Actually, the gender of the who wrote the letter is unknown. I don't know if you noticed but I never did mention if the person is a girl or a boy. I let the reader think instead. :) But the teacher's gender is known. I can't hide that. >_<