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Rated: · Other · Sci-fi · #1706451
this is the very rough draft for chapter 1 i want anyone to see it and point out all flaw
CHAPTER 1:

Fairbanks Alaska,
Bohr’s sky line
June 5, 2063
6:34 AM

         A thousand thin black lines traced their way through the Fairbanks sky in the morning light. Seemingly too thin for a single person to hang from, they tether a massive space station to the earth and carry hundreds of thousands of passengers upwards every day. At the bottom, a city filled with millions waiting for their chance to move up and into the new lives ahead of them.

         “Captain Rimes you have officially been given the assignment to the U.S.S. Hindsight.”
         
         The new captain watched the Earth below as the station commander dressed out in the standard immigration control uniform briefed him on his mission. A look around the room would give the appearance of disrepair, no decoration or paint, steel floors and walls with little room for movement.  The commander was seated at a small desk with nothing but a computer in front of him he wore the stained blue unwashed uniform of all immigration control.

         “You will carry your load of passengers to the lunar skyline where you will proceed to Mars and then return back to this station.” “The ship will be fully automated to its destination; you will keep the peace aboard your ship and run day to day management.”

         “Yes sir” the ship would be capable of carrying hundreds of passengers keeping them fed and alive through the trip would be his main responsibility. The people aboard the ship would have small rooms that would be their homes for the duration of their trips half would only remain for the relatively short time it took to reach the moon, the rest would remain with weeks to await their arrival at Mars.

         Captain Neil Rimes left the office to walk along the management walkway around the circumference of the station. His new charge was being loaded with passengers and necessities, brought up from the planet’s surface. It was a large ship with a white shell shaped like a cylinder with no windows or outer markings except the engines. 

The fusion torch rockets that slowly accelerated the ship through space powered it as well as revolve it around its center. Along its outer layer passenger rooms with two beds each and the easily made toys to keep the occupants quiet. Its inner layer housed the crew who labored 24/7 on the ship to keep it running. The center was reserved for the working components of the ship.

Captain Rimes was a 5’10” dark haired man in his mid thirties his faded washed out uniform in stark contrast to his shining new ship. He had run 26 times between the colonies and seen many things happen to the minds of the passengers as they traveled.

“Captain Rimes we are having trouble with some of the arrivals” the worried frown of what must be a new recruit, judging from his unsullied uniform, came around the loading dock.

“I’m on my way” he sighed “I had hoped we wouldn’t be having problems this soon.”

The passenger was being held down by a security officer who showed the beginnings of a black eye. The cause was staring up from the ground, a young woman no older than 25 was glaring forcefully up at him.

“Well then what’s the problem?”
“I will not go on that ship” she snapped back “it’s a death trap. I’ve heard about what happens on those things once they launch and I will not go!”

“Mam whatever you have heard it’s not that bad I’m sure.”

“What I have heard is that people go mad aboard those things. People kill themselves and each other at the drop of a hat. I’ve heard stories of people eating each other when the food ran out.”

By this point the assembled passengers began to mill about in agitation, whispering started among them and quite a few looked ready to back out of the dock.

“Miss I assure you that none of it is true.” He then looked at the security sitting on her “take her to my office I will come see her when were done with the launch.”

After taking care of the loading procedures Rimes walked into his office.

“I will not be treated this way” the woman shot up out of her chair to be shoved down by her guard. “This is unacceptable let me go!”

“Let’s talk before we get to that” the captain sat down at his desk. “Well my name is Neil Rimes what’s yours.”

“There is no need for you to know that”

Rimes cut her off “there is a need you disrupted the safe loading of my ship I need to know who you are.”

The woman stared at the captain for a moment before grudgingly responding. “Lilia Chilcott”

“There now all nice and civil. So if you do not want to leave why did you sign to my ship?”

“I was not given the choice” miss Chilcott coldly spoke “my expertise was required for the continued survival of the Mars colonies”

The captain knew that the government was getting desperate for skilled workers to prepare for the number of people coming, and he felt for her but showed nothing. “So what do you think you would have achieved with your display?”

Miss Chilcott bit her lip and looked down. “I was tired of quietly following their orders” she looked up “I did not truly think I would escape but I needed to do something”

The captain saw her determined look and knew she wasn’t really ready to accept her fate but he did not know what to do. “So what is it you do anyway?”

“I am a molecular biologist” she sat back in her chair. “I am to try and shape the agricultural products to help feed the inhabitants”

"I see well then we will have to meet again"
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