Stepping Into the Dark

There has to be more to life than this

Waiting, wondering, asking questions and getting no answer,
where is it that one goes next?

Am I ashamed?  Perhaps, but I am more confused
because no one has ridiculed me.  No one has scolded me.
No one takes any notice at all.  In the dark, everything appears invisible.

The light seems illusive, way over there where I can see it in the distance,
a narrow shaft of brilliance that captivates my imagination.
But what is it like, to step into the light, where everyone can see everything
and there is no place to hide?  That scares me.

I would go near the light, to get a closer look, to follow,
but at times like this it does not even come near me.
It would take me more than a step, more than a big jump,
more than I feel I can manage right now.
It seems so far out of reach, but where else is there to go?

So I am stepping into the dark.  I’m keeping the light in front of me.
I cannot reach the light just yet - one day, maybe - one day while I can still take
steps, however tentative, however small, feeling my way where I cannot see clearly.
What obstacles might lie between here and there?.  What is this thing
that trips me up?  Even my mind places pits and barriers before my feet -
must I take every step by faith? Is there another way?  I haven’t found one yet.

In the dark, everything appears invisible.  Even if I focus on my feet
I cannot tell from step to step what lurks before me.
Will others notice?  Will they complain?  That would be something new,
something other than the silence I am hearing now.
Will their words wound me deeply?  I have been hurt before. 
The dark is like that.  But what if they give me
words of encouragement, words of support, words of praise? 

In the dark, everything appears invisible, but the dark is not empty.
What is it that I am not meant to see until it is too late?
But who would want to hide something wonderful?  Do they not wish to share?
Who would hide something horrible?  That is what I have found before.
But I am stepping toward the light.  One day, I might reach it. 
One day, I might leave the darkness behind.  The thought scares me.
But the light attracts me more - drawing me, compelling me
to at least try to reach out - to step into the dark once more.


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