Running Heartbeat

Merry-Go-Rounds

School seemed to drag through the first few weeks. The first day, I met Marissa in my English class and Alexa in my calculus class. We were lying on the floor in Alexa’s sunroom doing our anatomy project and talking about what we should do tonight when Ethan texted me.

“Hey, the carnival is in town tonight. Wanna go?”

“Guys, Ethan said there’s a carnival tonight. He wants to know if I wanted to go. You guys should come. I’ll make the guys come if you want.”

Alexa looked at Marissa, who nodded. I texted Ethan back.

                   “Yeah, I’m in. Can Alexa and Marissa come? We were going to make plans for tonight.”

                   “Yeah, I’ll text Garrett, Matt and Kevin.”

                   “Thanks babe. See you tonight.”

                   “See yah.”



         We finished our project at around five and Ethan picked us up in his blue pick-up and we drove to the camp grounds where the carnival was set up. We walked around for a while and ate all the gross carnival food that could never be good for you. Ethan dragged me on the Ferris Wheel, even though I hated that ride because I always got stuck at the top. Again with my luck. The ride stopped at the very top and I had to close my eyes. Ethan’s hands closed over mind and he whispered into my ear.

         “Babe, look.”

I shook my head.

         “Please?”

Again I shook my head, no.

         “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. Ever. Just look, you’ll love it.”

I slowly opened my eyes and looked in the direction of where he pointed.

         “Oh, Ethan!” I breathed. You could see the water, very far off in the distance, and the sun was setting. The sky was pretty shades of pinks and oranges. It looked like a painting. “It’s beautiful.”

Ethan wrapped his arm around me and I cuddled close to him. He kissed the top of my head and we watched the sun sink into the waves.

         “It reminds me of that last day of summer.”

         “It reminds me of the first time I kissed you.”

         “I like that one better.”

         “Me too.” Ethan kissed the top of my head again.

I closed my eyes until I was back on solid ground. We met up with Marissa, Alexa, Garrett, Matt and Kevin and got in line for the scrambler. We paired off and climbed into the benches; Ethan and I, Marissa and Kevin, and Alexa Matt and Garrett. We laughed as we were whipped around in circles. Marissa threw up everything she ate, so Kevin drove her home. Alexa left with the other boys since it was getting late. Ethan and I wandered around for a while, then we left too. My mom was gone for the weekend so I invited Ethan to stay the night.

He was sitting at my kitchen table as I boiled water for our late-night snack of Mac and Cheese.

         “It is so hot in here.” he said suddenly.

         “Sorry, you know my mom. No AC, we have to embrace the natural wind.” I rolled my eyes and poured in the box of macaroni.

         “I wasn’t talking about that.” Ethan laughed. “I think I’ve got your mom pretty well understood.”

I shook my head. “I don’t even have her completely figured out. There is no way you do.”

         “Well, whether I do or not. I have you, and that’s all that matters to me.”

I smiled and turned my back to him again to stir what was on the stove. His arms wrapped around my stomach and he started to slowly sway back and forth.

         “Careful Ethan, I’m stirring hot food.”

He didn’t move. I put the spoon on the counter and grabbed the handle of the pot.

         “I need to drain this. If you don’t want to get burned, I suggest you move.”

He laughed. “As fun as that sounds...” he let go of me and I moved to the sink. I dumped the contents into the strainer and let the water drain out, then poured the pasta back into the pan and added the cheese, milk and butter, then continued to mix it all together. Ethan took his seat back at the table and I place a bowl in front of him, then took my seat across from him. We talked about the night and what we should do over Christmas break. We laughed and forgot what we had even talked about when we finished dinner. I put the dishes in the sink and filled it with water, but Ethan took the sponge from me and made me sit down.

         “You made dinner, I’ll clean up.”

         “Thanks.” I sat and watched him wash our dishes. His tanned arms moved rhythmically as he cleaned a bowl and put it in the drying rack my mom had made when I was seven. When he was done, we went up to my room.

         “Sorry, I don’t have anything you can sleep in.” I looked at my closet.

         “No offense sweet, but I wasn’t expecting you to.” he laughed and pulled his grey t-shirt over his head. I walked over to him, so I could be the first thing he saw when his head came out of the mess of fabric.

         “This could work for me.” I smiled and ran my hand down his muscular chest. Ethan laughed and shivered.

         “Your hand is cold.” he gently grabbed both my hands and led me to my bed.

         “Sorry.” I smiled. “Let me change into my pajamas first, okay?”

Ethan sighed sarcastically, “If you must.” he said.

I laughed and went into the bathroom to put on a pair of shorts and a tank-top. I didn’t remember these shorts being this short. Oh well. I returned to Ethan lying on his back under my sheets.

         “Sure, make yourself at home in my bed. I don’t mind.” I laughed and threw a pillow at him.

         “Hey!” he laughed too. “Get over here.”

I giggled and crawled under the sheets to cuddle next to his warm body. His arm was under my neck and his hand on my back. I stroked under his chin with my hand and he pulled me close to him.

         “I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have you for my girlfriend for this long.”

I blushed under the covers. “I can’t believe I’ve been dating you for six months.”

         “Grace?”

         “What? No Australia?”

         “Sorry, Australia?”

I laughed, “Yes?”

         “I love you.”

         “I love you too.”

         “You do?”

         “You’re surprised?”          

         “Yeah, kinda.”

         “Why?”

         “I don’t know. I just didn’t think that a girl like you could ever love me.”

         “Never underestimate a girl.”

         “I should know that by now.”

I laughed. “Probably.”



         We fell asleep after a while, but I woke up in the middle of the night, in a place that was unfamiliar to me.



         “Round and round and round. The merry-go-round never slows down,” a strange voice kept repeating. My eyes focused and I looked around me. Everything was spinning and

I was sitting on a synthetic horse. I realized that the person talking was talking about the merry-go-round I was apparently sitting on.

         “Where it stops, nobody knows. Round and round the merry-go-round goes.”

         “Excuse me!” I called, not knowing if anyone would respond. “Where am I?”

         “Round and round and round, you’re on the merry-go-round.”

         “Yeah, I got that much. But why?”

         “You move so fast, to escape the past.”

         “What is that supposed to mean?”

         “Life goes round and round. Like this merry-go-round. You can never escape your past, it catches up with you all too fast.”

         “Wanna speak English please?” I called again, but the voice went back into it’s normal rhythm, repeating the same two verses.

         “Round and round and round. The merry-go-round never slows down. Where it stops, nobody knows. Round and round the merry-go-round goes.”



“Australia... Grace.. Gracie.. Wake up love.” I recognized this voice.

         “Ethan?” I mumbled. “Where am I?”

         “In your bed... where did you think you were?” Ethan laughed.

         “I was...” I sat up. “Oh never mind, It was only a dream.” I laughed too. “What’s for breakfast? I’m starving.”

         “Of course you are.” Ethan smiled and placed a tray on my lap. It was piled with a glass of orange juice, a plate with a few pancakes, maple syrup and a bakery muffin.

         “Ethan! Where did all this come from?” I exclaimed in surprise.

         “I wish I could say I made it, but I didn’t. I can’t cook to save my life. So I thought, for something special, I’d get you a restaurant quality meal in the comfort of your home.” he winked “Now eat.”

         “You don’t have to tell me twice.” and I dug in. The food was delicious, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my dream. Was it supposed to mean something? That Ethan and I were moving to fast? I mean, we’ve been dating for half a year. I think that’s an appropriate time to say “I love you.”

         “What are you thinking about?”

         “Hmm?” I came out of my daze.

         “Your head is somewhere else this morning. What are you thinking about?”

         “This weird dream I had last night.” and I told Ethan my dream. He said it was weird as well, but nothing to stress over. People have weird dreams all the time. I knew he was right, so I let it go. After lounging in bed for a few more hours and just talking, we decided to go for a run. Ethan had his heart set on beating me in a race. But today was not his day. I won again, and he sulked on our jog back home. He came around, though, when we arrived at my house and an unknown car was parked in the driveway behind my mom’s.

         “Who’s that?” Ethan asked.

         “No idea. Let’s go see.”

We walked inside to find my mom, with an unfamiliar man, sitting at our kitchen table.

         “There’s my Gracie!” my mom exclaimed when she saw us creeping in the hallway. “Come over here sweetheart, I want to introduce you to someone.”

Ethan and I looked at each other, and he raised an eyebrow. I shrugged and walked into the room, Ethan at my heels.

         “Grace, this is David McKenna. He has agreed to help me with my presentation on why we should demolish that old office building that’s been vacant for years and build a park with lots of trees and stuff. David, this is my daughter Grace and her boyfriend Ethan.”

I smiled “Nice to meet you Mr. McKenna.”

         “My pleasure Ms. Grace. Ethan.” he shook Ethan’s hand and waited awkwardly for someone to speak.

         “So.. Mom.. How did your business trip go?” I watched her look at Mr. McKenna, then back at me.

         “Wonderfully dearie. It was the best meeting I’ve had so far.” she looked at Mr. McKenna again.

         “That’s great mom. Glad to hear it. Uhh. Ethan and I will be in my room if you need us.”

         “Wait. In your room?” Mr. McKenna spoke.

Ethan and I stopped. “Yeah...” I said, not sure where he was going.

He turned to my mom. “You let boys in her room. Didn’t you tell me she was only seventeen?”

         “Eighteen on Valentine’s Day.” my mom shared proudly. She had always been proud of my birthday, I’m not really sure why.

         “Yeah, but she’s still a minor. Aren’t you worried? What if they.. You know...”

         “Mr. McKenna, I would appreciate it if you would get to know me and my girlfriend better before making any judgments on our character. Come one Grace.” Ethan took my hand protectively and gently shoved me towards the door.

         “That was completely uncalled for.” Ethan said angrily once we were alone in my room. “Who does that guy think he is? Coming into your house and calling you an unintelligent minor who wants one thing in life? I wish I could give him a piece of my mind...” he trailed off, angrily mumbling under his breath.

I laughed “Calm down sweetheart. I know and I’m sure my mom is talking to her new “business partner” about it right now.” I stood up from the window seat. “But thanks for being so protective. And you’re cute when you’re mad.”

Ethan blushed. “You’re cute all the time.”

I laughed and we both lay down on the floor with a stack of stuff to complete for school, so we would have the week to relax.

Under the Mistletoe

         Things had gotten really weird now. Mr. McKenna seemed to always be over our house, “working” on my mom’s park project thing. He always watched Ethan and I with the sharpest eye, as if he was some over-protective father. It came to a point where Ethan literally got down on his knees and begged me to talk to my mom about it, or he would refuse to come over any more.

         “Babe, you know that I love you and your mom to death, but I can’t stand that guy watching my every move. It’s like he’s waiting for me to make a mistake so he can yell ‘I told you so!’ in my face.”

So I had to talk to my mom about it tonight. And for some strange reason that I couldn’t understand, I was actually nervous. I was never nervous when talking to my mom, we talked about everything. But I felt like she was keeping something from me, and I needed to find out what it was. I loved having Ethan around and I wasn’t about to let this McKenna guy drive him away from me.

         “Mom, can I talk to you?” I walked into the dim living room where she was setting up all the final Christmas decorations.

         “Sure sweetie, what can I do for yah?” she struggled to hang a small piece of mistletoe over the fireplace.

         “It’s about Mr. McKenna–”

         “Oh, that reminds me, I invited him for Christmas dinner, you don’t mind, do you sweet?” she interrupted.

         “Well, you said that Ethan and his mom can come right?”          

         “Yes, yes of course. You know that I absolutely adore Ethan. And his mother is just the cutest little thing. And I know that you want him here.”

         “You see mom. That’s just it. Ethan doesn’t like Mr. McKenna.”

My mom stopped what she was doing and turned to face me. “Why?”

         “I don’t know… I mean, yeah, I do. He watches everything we do, mom. And he’s always around and it makes Ethan and I kinda uncomfortable.”

         “I’m sorry sweetheart. You should have said something sooner. I’ll talk to him about it. He likes you, you know.”

         “He does?”

She nodded. “He thinks you’re very bright and will do great things in your future. And he doesn’t mind Ethan. I think he’s just weary that he’ll get in the way of your accomplishments.”

         “Okay... well if anything, Ethan would support me in anything I do. And why should he even be concerned? He’s just your business partner.”

My mom sighed and went back to her work. “I’ll talk to him. I promise.”

         “Thanks mom.”

I left. I still had the feeling she was keeping something from me as I climbed the stairs to my room. I texted Ethan as soon as the door closed.

         “I talked to her.”

         “What did she say?”

         “She said that she would talk to him about it. And that he thinks I’m bright and will accomplish a lot in my future and that you could get in the way.”

         “WHAT?!? THAT’S RIDICULOUS! Babe, I would never.”

         “Ethan, I know. I don’t know what else to say to her. But I sill feel like she’s keeping something from me.”

         “About what?”

         “I don’t know. But she acted kinda funny when I pointed out that he was just her business partner.”

         “Uh-oh.”

         “What?”

         “What if they are more than that?”

         “What, do you mean, like actually dating?”

         “Yeah.”

I laughed at the thought.

         “Ethan, be serious. How many times have you heard my mom say she doesn’t need another husband.”

         “Thousands, she always says that she believes in that one true soul mate, and once you’ve found them, there is no one else for you.”

         “See?”

         “Yeah, but she used to tell me that every time I came over your house. Remember, she said that she thinks we’re soul mates?”

         “Haha. Yeah, I remember. So?”

         “She never tells me that anymore. And she’s always giving him googly eyes.”

         “Googly eyes Ethan? Really?”

         “Babe, I’m just giving you options. I have to go though. My mom is yelling at me to help her make cookies to bring to your house tomorrow.”

         “I know. Haha okay. Please don’t blow yourself up or anything. And follow your mom’s directions, I want to be able to actually eat those cookies.”

         “I’ll try my best. Love you.”

         “Love you too.”

I threw my phone on my bed. More than business partners? I shuddered at the thought. I didn’t want another father. Or need one for that matter. My mother had done just fine raising me by herself all these years. Ethan’s idea couldn’t be right, could it?



         “Gracie! Gracie! Wake up!! Santa came! Hurry, come see what he got you!” my mom shook my bed until I unwillingly opened my eyes.

         “Mooomm! I’m seventeeeeennn! What time is it anywayy?!” I groaned, squeezing my eyes tighter to keep them shut and to block out the light she had turned on in my room.

         “It is just about seven o’clock on this lovely Christmas morning. And I would like you to get up and see what Santa brought my good girl before everyone comes over.”

         “Arghh. Fine. I’ll be down in a minute.” I gave in. My mom loved Christmas; it had to be her favorite holiday of all time. She love the decorating and over cooking and gift buying and giving. I didn’t want her only daughter to spoil her fun.

         “Okay. And I’m timing you missie. One minute.” she patted my back and left me to get up. After her footsteps faded down the stairs. I rolled over and opened my eyes. They quickly adjusted to the light in my room and I reached for my phone to text Ethan. I was up, and I was planning on having him awake too.

         “Morning sunshine :] Merry Christmas!”

         “You’re awake already? Haha morning sweetheart. Merry Christmas”

         “Yeah. My mom woke me up. She wants me to see what Santa brought me. What’s your excuse?”

         “Haha that’s for me to know and for you to find out :]”

         “Awh. Ethan just tell me!”

         “Nope. You have to wait and see.”

         “You suck.”

         “You love me.”

         “Yeah. I do. I gotta go though. My mom is timing me, I have like two seconds to get myself downstairs. I’ll see you soon.”

         “Haha good luck with that. See you soon. Love you.”

         “Love you too.”

I put my phone back on the table and threw off my covers. I bolted down the stairs and almost ran into my mom who was on her way back up to yell at me to come down.

         “You are a very lucky girl.” my mom laughed.

I looked at her. Her face glowing with excitement, her hair pulled back out of her eyes, which were sparkling.

         “To have a mom like you. Yeah, I am.” I smiled. “Now can I see what Santa brought me? Or do I have to wait until after breakfast?”

My mom smiled. “Go ahead sweetie. I’ll get the camera.”

I left my mom and started walking toward the living room where the tree was. Presents were piled high, labeled with everyone’s name that was coming for Christmas dinner. Mine where right in the middle, where they had always been since I was a little girl. I sat down next to my pile and pulled the first one out. I slowly tore off the paper, waiting for my mom to come back with the camera.

         “Today sweetheart. Christmas comes but once a year.”

I laughed and tore off the festive paper in one quick pull. It was a pair of new running shoes. They were a crisp new white color with a lime green Nike swish on the side. My name was printed in small letters across the heel of the shoe.

         “MOM! I love them!” I smiled wide and held them up for her to see.

She laughed, “Look on the bottom love.”

I turned the shoe over and read the line out loud. “No one can catch a runner. No one will dare to try.” I looked up at my mom, her face bright with a dazzling smile. “Dad’s last words.” I choked out.

She nodded. “Words of wisdom from the very best.” a silent tear rolled down her cheek. I stood and walked towards her.

         “I love them mom. It’s the best gift I could have ever gotten.” I whispered into her ear as I hugged her tight.

         “I’m glad.” she sniffled and wiped her tears away. “Open the rest of them. And hold them up so I can take pictures.”

I sat by my pile of presents for a little longer and held up the various items ‘Santa’ had given me so she could snap a quick photo. Some new clothes, a necklace with a palm tree pendent, some candy and school supplies. Mom laughed and snapped pictures as we cleaned up the mess I had made from unwrapping presents. I searched around under the tree to find the small box I had placed there for her.

         “Your turn mom!” I laughed and handed her the festively wrapped gift.

         “Gracie! I told you I didn’t want anything! You were my best gift!”

I rolled my eyes. “Mom, you’ve been telling me that since I was old enough to buy you your own gift. And I’m going to continue buying you gifts until you’re not here to buy gifts for. Now open it!”

She laughed and tore off the wrapping, revealing a black velvet box. “Grace, if this is expensive…”

         “Just open it mom.” I cut her off.

She lifted the lid. A thing silver bracelet sparkled in the sunlight. It was plain and simple, not like my mom at all, but she had pointed it out once when we were walking up town and I had saved up money from lifeguarding to pay for it.

         “Gracie” she gasped. “How did you–this is–” she looked up at me “the next best thing I could have even received. Thank you.”

I smiled. “Your welcome. And I’m glad you like it.”

         “Like it! Sweetie! I love it! Here, help me put it on.”

I quickly clasped it around her thin wrist, where it stood out like a white dot on a black board against her tan skin. She gave me a hug and a kiss, then started scrambling to get everything ready for our busy day. I ran upstairs to change into my new red and white summer dress while she took the food out of the refrigerator. I was returning down the stairs when the doorbell rang and my only grandma came in. Her husband died two years ago, after many years battling diabetes. My other grandparents had also passed on, my nana from a heart attack and papa simply from old age. I gave her a big hug, it had been almost six years since I had seen her last, and I was overjoyed that she could still fly down to spend Christmas with us. Ethan and his mom, Molly, arrived next, and Grandma shamelessly told me she approved of Ethan right in front of him. A few of our neighbors joined our party and everyone was laughing and enjoying the good food in no time. Ethan caught me under the mistletoe as I was bringing an empty platter back into the kitchen.

         “Since Grandma approves, I have no problem doing this.” Ethan said, and kissed me in front of my entire family and all of our neighbors. My mom had the nerve to take a photo. My face was bright red when he pulled away, and the entire room laughed and cheered. Ki-Ki, the six year old from next door, yelled something about cooties. I smiled and pushed past Ethan to bring the tray into the kitchen. I returned just in time to have to doorbell ring and see my mom skip off to answer it. 

         “Who’s that?” Mrs. Honlanu, Ki-Ki’s mom, asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I thought everyone was here.”

We waited for my mom to return. When she did, she was red faced and smiling. Mr. McKenna followed closely behind her.

         “Oh, right. I forgot he was coming.” I said, half to myself.

         “Forgot, or wished he just wouldn’t show.” Ethan whispered, coming up behind me.

         “A little of both I guess.” I responded, in the same low tone.

The room remained mostly silent as my mom slowly introduced Mr. McKenna to everyone else. When they reached Ethan and I, my mom left quickly to check on the special Hawaiian dish she and Mrs. Honlanu prepared.

         “Hello Grace.” Mr. McKenna greeted me.

         “Hello. Merry Christmas.” I responded, trying my best to smile, even though I was a little suspicious.

         “Merry Christmas. To you as well Ethan.”

         “Yeah whatever.” Ethan mumbled. I elbowed him in the ribs. He winced. “Merry Christmas.” he said through his teeth.

Mr. McKenna smiled and went to talk to Mr. Honlanu and Mr. Bates who were standing in the corner near the bay window. I turned to face Ethan.

         “Will you at least pretend to be nice?” I pleaded.

         “Sorry. There’s just something about that guy I can’t stand.”

         “I know. But for some reason he’s here. And I would like for you to be here as well. Cause problems and I don’t know how long you’ll be able to stay.”

         “Sorry. I’ll be good.” he smiled.

         “Thank you.” I smiled and kissed his cheek, then left to help my mom in the kitchen.



Dinner ran smoothly. Ethan behaved himself, even though he had to sit next to Mr. McKenna. A few hours later, after the guests had dwindled down to Grandma, Ethan and his mom and Mr. McKenna, we all sat in the living room talking about old Christmases. Ethan and I on the love seat, his arm around my shoulders, Grandma in the armchair, Molly on the rarely used fireplace and mom and Mr. McKenna, who kept a steady eye on Ethan and I, on the couch. Ethan’s face turned beet red when his mom shared to story of how he used to be afraid of Santa Claus and he kicked an ‘elf’ in the face when she tried to take him to have his picture taken at the town center. At around eight, Molly stood and announced that she and Ethan should probably head home. Ethan stood and took my hands.          

         “I guess I should give you your surprise now.” he smiled as my face lit up. With everyone watching, Ethan took a small box out of his pocket, wrapped in gold paper.

         “You woke up early.. To wrap it?” I guessed.

Ethan shook his head. “I totally lied. I woke up early cause I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on your face when I gave it to you.”

I felt my face glow warm as I reached for the box Ethan held out for me. I slowly pulled away the wrapping and unhooked the small clasp on the Christmas-red box. Inside, on a blanket of white velvet, lay a sliver chain. At the center of the chain hung two little diamond hearts, deep red in color. My mouth fell open and I grew speechless.

         “I–Ethan–it’s–” I stuttered.

Ethan laughed. “I pictured your reaction a million different ways, but nothing compares to this one. Here.” he took the box from my hand and pulled out the necklace. I numbly moved my hair for him so he could clasp it around my neck.

         “There.” he said, leaning back. “It looks even more beautiful on you.” he smiled.

         “Ethan, move sweetie, so her mom can see.” Molly said, tugging on the back of her son’s collar. He moved out of my mom’s view, and when I looked up her face was shining.

         “It really is a beautiful gift Gracie.” her eyes sparkled.

I finally found my words to speak as I turned to face Ethan. “Thank you Ethan! I love it.”

Ethan laughed. “I knew you would, and you’re reaction just confirmed it. Merry Christmas love.”

         “Merry Christmas.” I stood and threw my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. “I love you to death.” I whispered in his ear.

         “I love you too.” he whispered back.

         “Okay, come on Ethan. We really better go.” Molly said.

I followed them to the front door and waved as they made their way down the walk, plates filled with enough food to last a week in their hands. I then made my way back into the living room.

A World Upside-Down

         “Mom, do you think—” I stopped. There, in front of the fireplace, where my mom had hung the mistletoe the night before, and where Ethan had kissed me hours before, stood my mom and Mr. McKenna. His arms around her waist, hers around his neck, and their lips locked. I dropped the plate of cookies Molly had refused to take home as tears blurred my vision. They parted at the sound of the glass plate smashing into the bamboo flooring.

         “Gracie! What are you doing?”

         “WHAT AM I DOING?” I screamed. “MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING? How could you!?” I turned from their astonished faces and the shards of glass and ran towards the door. Thunder crashed overhead and I could smell the rain coming. I had been through a lot of weird weather on Christmas, but a thunderstorm was a first. The small pebbles on the road dug into my bare feet as I sprinted, full speed, away from my house. I couldn’t see anything, due to my tears and the quickening rain, but I knew that I flew past Ethan and Molly in my travels. Lightening lit up the sky and thunder rolled out in loud claps. The storm was right overhead, and I knew that I shouldn’t be outside for it, but I didn’t care. How could she? After everything we’ve been through, just us? What happened to soul mates? And not wanting to remarry? What happened to my mom? That women was not my mom. My mom was fun, loving and carefree. She would never ever do something so unlike her. I bit my lip as a stone pierced through the bottom of my foot, but I didn’t slow down. I quickened my pace when I heard someone calling my name from behind. A loud clap of thunder drowned out the voice, but soon it became recognizable. It was Ethan. I could hear his feet splash through the puddles, but I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to ever stop. I ran faster, faster than I ever thought I could, towards the beach. The lightening gave the crashing waves an eerie look, and took away the calmness of the normally still waters. My foot was throbbing as my feet pounded the pavement, but I continued to run faster as Ethan seemed to be getting closer. My dad’s last words echoed in my mind.

“You’re a runner Gracie. You where born with speed and agility. No one can stop a runner; no one will dare to try. But if anyone reaches you, slow down and take a look. They may be worth the change in pace.”

Ethan was worth the change in pace. Only Ethan. Not my mom, not any of my other friends and family, and definitely not Mr. McKenna. But I didn’t want to stop. I knew Ethan couldn’t reach me; he had tried before and failed. But though my pace quickened, he steadily got closer. I finally reached the sand and directed myself towards the pier. My hair was plastered to my face and my hand came away black from running make-up when I wiped away water and tears so I could see. The wet sand stung the gash on my foot, but it soon became dull as my foot went numb. I couldn’t hear Ethan calling me anymore, so I figured he gave up. I was still running when I reached the old wooden pier, but I was brought down out of nowhere. My body hit the sand, and the change in weight sent a sharp pain through my right leg from the bleeding cut.

         “GET AWAY FROM ME!” I yelled. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” I had no idea who I was even yelling at, I just knew that someone was there and someone had the nerve to knock me off my feet.

         “I’m not going anywhere.” I recognized his voice. It was Ethan. He hadn’t given up after all. “I’m never going to go anywhere.” he repeated.

I pushed him away from me. I felt rejected by my own mother and just wanted to be left alone.

         “Remember what your father said to you? His last words of advice? Am I not worth the change in pace?”

         “You caught up to me, remember.” I mumbled angrily.

         “Yes. Because I love you and, whether you believe me or not, you’ll always find me at your side. No matter how fast you run, I will always try.”

I slowly turned my head, tears streaming down my face mixed in with the rainwater. Thunder still sounded, but the claps were farther apart now, as the storm moved on.

         “If anyone reaches you, slow down and take a look. They may be worth the change in pace” I repeated. “I didn’t even follow my own father’s advice.” I looked at the ground.

         “Grace. Do you want to tell me what happened? The reason to why you ran out in a thunder storm in that pretty dress and didn’t even stop to look at that gash in your foot?”

I looked down at my dress, which was soaked through and covered in sand. As I nervously fooled with a rip in the seem, I glanced over at my right foot. It was completely covered in sand, and the blood was seeping through and pooling around my ankle. Ethan watched me stare at the blood, then pulled his soaked white shirt over his head.

         “Here.” he said, gently taking hold of my throbbing ankle and wrapping the shirt tightly around my foot. “That should stop, or at least slow the bleeding. Long enough for you to talk to me.”

I sighed and wiped another tear away. “My mom, Ethan. You were right. Not just business partners.” I wasn’t forming coherent sentences, but Ethan understood.

         “I’m sorry Grace. How did you find out?”

         “Mistletoe. That stupid mistletoe.”

         “Oh..” Ethan looked down. “Grace. Don’t be mad at your mom. She can’t help the way she feels.”

         “So you’re taking her side!?” I tried to stand, but the pain in my foot was so bad I quickly fell back down.

         “Babe, I’m not taking anyone’s side in this. But what happened, happened. You can’t change or fix anything by running away from it all.” Ethan wrapped his arms tightly around my middle. I tried to push them away, but it proved to be useless. With one arm under my knees and the other around my back, he slowly picked me up. The sky was beginning to brighten as he silently carried me towards home.

         “I don’t care. And I don’t want to go back.” I crossed my arms.

         “Well considering you put a hole in your foot and now can’t walk and probably need stitches, that choice isn’t really up to you.”

         “Ethan James. Put me down.”

         “No Grace. You’re going back. Your mom is probably having a heart attack right now trying to figure out where you ran off to.”

         “Good.”

         “You don’t mean that.”

         “Yes I do.”

         “Grace.”

         “Shut up Ethan. Just shut up.” I refused to look at him as he carried me along the road back to our neighborhood. My mom showed up in a car next to us when we were a few blocks away. She took one look at my foot and stopped the car, barking orders at Ethan to put me in the back seat and sit with me, applying pressure as she drove to the hospital. She tried to make eye contact with me in her rearview mirror, but I refused. I starred out the window at the palm trees glistening with rainwater. I ended up with twenty-six stitches in my right foot and on crutches for two weeks. Ethan lingered a little longer when we returned to my house. He was gone, hopefully for good. I was lying on the couch, my foot propped up on a pillow, when Ethan leaned over to say good-bye.

         “I know you hate me now, but call if you need anything. I love you.” he kissed my forehead and after a few words with my mom, was gone. The air felt thick around me, and whenever my mom came in the room to check on me, only a few awkward words were exchanged. Finally she came in and sat down in the armchair across from me.

         “Gracie—”

         “I don’t want to talk to you.” I interrupted

         “Fine, but I’m your mother and you don’t have to talk, but you are going to listen. I know that I should have talked with you before making all these plans with David—Mr. McKenna. But I wasn’t thinking and I’m sorry.”

         “Are you mom? Really? Because it didn’t really look like it a few hours ago when you were attached to his face.”

         “Young lady! Do not use that tone with me!” she stood up.

         “What happened to you mom? This isn’t you. What happened to the mom that told her daughter everything? And was always completely honest? When was the last time you even asked me about school? Or came to one of my track meets? What about the last project you did? You loved finding new things to do, and you haven’t been that way in months. I want my mom back.”

         “Sweetie— I’m right here.”

         “Are you mom? Are you really? ‘Cause it doesn’t seem like it. You’re never even home anymore. I spend more time with Ethan and Molly than I do with you. I spent months saving up for that bracelet I bought for you, and you threw it aside when he gave you that one. You’re forgetting your daughter mom, and you’re losing yourself.”

She fell silent. “Sweetie.. I don’t know what to say.”

         “Then don’t say anything. Because you know that it’s all true.” I closed my eyes and looked away “I pray to God that Dad wasn’t watching you today.” I said under my breath.

         “Now hold on one minute missy. Your father has nothing to do with any of this. And you know that I love your father very much and would throw my own life away to see him again.”

         “Then why mom? Why would you do such a thing after years of saying Dad was irreplaceable?”

         “I don’t have a reason for you, Gracie.” she sighed. “I wish I did, but I don’t.”

         “Then I have nothing else to say to you.”

I heard her walk away, then climb the stairs to go to bed. “I love you Grace Marie. More than anything in the world and would trade any bracelet in to make you see that.” she called. I closed my eyes tighter and tried to sleep as silent tears rolled down my face.