This Duality to explain my love for you,

It is within my simple duality that I must write this letter to you;


Let me be honest in to say that I loved you in the truest way one could love.

Your memory still stays with me.

It is my inspiration.

My sweet sorrow that still brings a pained smile to my face.

I learned a lesson I needed to learn, and you still live on in my mind and heart.

In life you remain the way that I last saw you.

What is your exterior still grows,

But on the inside you're still broken and left the same.

All I can say is that I do regret not having helped you, the way you helped me, and that I couldn't stay longer to help you figure those things out,

Because as the child I was, sometimes those of innocent heart and mind, give the best reason.

What happened wasn't our fault.

It wasn't of anyone.

Maybe it could've been helped

But I'm not here to blame regrets and place a blame.

What happened, happened.

It is of no fault of our own.

We learned and we grew.

And now we are apart.

We will probably never see each other again,

Unless the tides of fate and destiny choose that we should meet.

Within my duality in youth I hated what you did,

In growth, I yearned for your return.

Some nights were spent crying, hoping for any sign.

And in wisdom, I learned to respect your actions and Understand why.

I wrote to you, but you never did write back,

I somehow knew you were always listening,

And I came to learn that you were.

We said our good bye's, or at least you did.

I'm still on that thread of hope that some day....

Some day...

When the winds of change come passing by,

They might bring you back to me.

We are two very different people.

I believe we both know that.

In this reality, we're not suited for each other in that form.

Even if I love you, in this way that I do,

I'm stuck in this place with few and far inbetween,

And you're beyond my reach.

You probably would not reach for me.

And if you did,

I wouldn't reach back,

Because even though I know it may be like a dream,

It's not to be.

You were very dear to me,

And perhaps I to you

But this is something I knew from the start.

And in these days, they are the days that we must part.

I learned from you, I say this once again,

And I hope to say that you learned from me,

But I will never love more than a mother loves a child.

I'm stuck in this place.

And where I was,

In a darker place,

You were the only one who could reach me,

I let none others near,

Maybe it should feel like betrayal because you left me after I let you near,

But I understand because now I am in the Light.

I have yet to reach the full potential of my soul and my humanity,

But you are a part of my life, my being, my existence, and I thank you for having been there.

It still hurts, but it's not a painful hurt,

It is a sorrow of knowing.

I've said all I can,

And if I try to say more, I can only repeat these sentiments.

Yes I love you,

I've moved on, more or less,

But this is my story,

And You,

Are my Pain.



-R.S.L.S