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I feel simulated and I am living someone else's tale. and I keep living it over and over without a skip or a fail and as I watch the things I do its almost as if its automatic my hands move over the keyboard like a good working robot a fish flopping on unfamiliar ground someone has fed me a bunch of lies all suger coated, for a child-its a great disguise and like the good little girl I am I finished it right to the last drop whether you follow the rules or not your still going to get hit because really, im stupid and such a twit forced into a box, I dont know how to get out perhaps I should ask the girl in there... do YOU want to get out? she turns away from me, a solid shield back and all I keep asking is who am I...WHO AM I? at least by now I should have some idea I think I talk too much, and I think I am full of shit. what a minute... is this me talking or this from my past? again random flashes of movies cross my mind all from the way past, past I wrap my arms around myself and wonder who holds me where is me? who is this person, with the trembling hands holding on for dear life I hear crying in the distance and see the tear drops fall from my eyes I realize its my eyes again, speaking the language of my heart and all I hear is pain, the same sound of a dying animal in the basement, there and ignored I dont know what to do anymore and I am afraid to reach out and while I eat this and that, that voice deep inside wants to shout but what can I say? Im a good little girl, trained well. |