Brian or Stewie For President?

Stewie or Brian For President?


One late afternoon the Griffin family were all in the kitchen eating Lois' birthday cake that they had made her earlier on.
“Wow Peter this is great!” Lois complimented
“Yeah mom we made it for you!” Meg insisted
“Yeah and I helped!” Stewie said with a huge grin running across his face.
“Did you honey, that's great, are you gonna grow up to be a famous cake maker?” Lois asked
“No, of course not! How dare you fill my head with such loathsome propaganda!” Stewie replied angrily
“What then? The president of the USA?” Lois chuckled
“But of course!” Stewie grinned
“Doubt that!” Brian insisted as he got off his chair and placed his plate next to the sink.
“Stop mocking me! I would be the best president the USA would ever have!” Stewie quickly replied
“OK, in a nice and calm manner, how would you tell one of your men to leave the room?” Brian challenged
“Well that's easy... I'd tell them, I'm your new master and I order you to go!” Stewie replied
“Well, like every other time I've told you, you have a knack for saying the wrong thing!” Brian replied
“What the devil are you talking about? I would be their master!” Stewie asked
“That may be, but if you were to say that to a crowd of people during an election...” Brian continued
“Then if it went the wrong way I'd have each one executed until they gave in to me! It's not rocket science dog!” Stewie explained
“No, it's just stupidity!” Brian returned
“OK, that's enough now you two. Brian do you want your ball?” Lois intervened
“Yes please, I would like my ball!” Brian replied as he turned his attention to Lois
“You want your ball, yeah, you want your ball! Go get it then!” Lois laughed as she pretended to throw the ball. Brian ran off in the direction of which he thought the ball went.

A couple of seconds later he returned to Lois.
“I couldn't help but notice you didn't throw the ball, as it is still in your hand” Brian stated
“Yes I can see your gonna be the next president Brian. You'll be talking to your people then you'll see a little kid with a ball, and that's it, all hell brakes loose” Stewie joked
“I'm a dog what do you expect?” Brian asked
“That's the best you can come up with you dull witted termigat!” Stewie insulted
“That's not even a word” Brian replied
“OK this time I will throw it, get ready Brian!” Lois declared and she threw the ball which unluckily bounced off the wall and out of an open window.
“Oh this is going to be painful, but also quite entertaining!” Stewie murmured to himself.
Brian was too bothered about getting his ball and jumped into the air to go out of the window but unfortunately he miss timed his jump slightly and hit the shelf.
“Oh my god Brian, are you alright?” Lois asked as she ran to his aid.
“Well I was obviously right about you being dull witted, hmm dog?” Stewie laughed
Without Stewie noticing Brian quickly hit a table leg causing a plant pot to fall from the table and onto Stewie's head.
“Yes, well, it looks to me like I've grown a funny shaped potato” Brian joked
“Oh Stewie, look at you! Let’s get you cleaned up!” Lois informed as she picked up Stewie and took him upstairs. Brian quickly checked himself over to see if he was bleeding or injured in anyway, dusted himself off, went into the lounge and turned on the TV.

“Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker” Tom introduced
“And I'm Diane Simmins” Diane continued “News just in! The USA is in need of a new President after Adam West decided to end his role after many complaints of hatred”
“How Ironic, It's a good job Stewie wasn't down here; he'd be out the door and down to the White house!” Brian told himself
“President? Quit? Oh this is just fantastic, I can see It now!, Me in charge of the whole USA!, Bye Brian I'm off to the White house to become our new president!” Stewie chuckled
“Not without an opponent your not!” Brian argued
“Well durr their already down there!” Stewie replied sarcastically
“Not them! Me! I'm not going to stand here and watch you have the chance to for fill your dream of world domination!” Brian replied
“Ha! You really think that they would let a dog have the chance of becoming president of the USA?” Stewie asked
“I have a better chance than a baby!” Brian replied


20 minutes later Stewie and Brian arrived at the White house.
“Things are going to be done a bit differently this time. Names shall be put into a box and three shall be picked out at random. Those three shall then be brought down to two then just for the fun of it the final two shall have a fight until one either dies, gets knocked out, or just gives up!” a voice shouted
“OK you heard him, let’s put our names into the box!” Stewie insisted

20 minutes later a man opened the box of names.
“The first name is... Brian Griffin!” The man shouted and Brian walked up onto the steps to the White house.
“The second name is... Stewie Griffin!” Stewie joined Brian on the steps. “The final name, to join these two to have the chance of becoming our new President is... Glen Quagmire!”
“Quagmire!” Brian gasped
“Oh Damn that pervert better not become president, otherwise I'm gonna kill myself!” Stewie insisted
“Giggity, Giggity, Oh right!” Quagmire chuckled
“Now each of these contestants shall have a quick speech to try and get your vote to become President! First up... Stewie Griffin!” the man explained.

Stewie walked up to the gates of the White house and took hold of the Mic.
“Hi... Erm... Yeah... I'm just a bit nervous; I've never actually done a speech before so bear with me. Ah, OK, I will offer lower taxes. 1 million dollars to everyone who votes for me and every single person living on the streets a home to live in!” Stewie shouted. The crowd cheered in unison as Stewie returned to the White house steps and sat down next to Brian.
“Beat that dog!” Stewie ordered
“So what if I don't! How are you going to even do any of that?” Brian asked
“I won't!” Stewie replied
“Next up, Glen Quagmire” The Man called
“Huh, Huh, Oh Right!” Quagmire giggled “Hey, All you chicks. I offer you sex with me everyday and every night you want, free of charge! How about that huh?”
“Err, OK, thanks Glen... and Finally, Brian Griffin” The Man called. Brian Gulped and slowly walked up to the Mic knowing if he failed, Stewie may have the chance to get his dream and Quagmire to do what he does to every female in the country!
“Yes dog, do me proud! Fail! Fail!” Stewie shouted

Peter, Meg, Lois and Chris were all on the edge of the couch watching the election on TV.
“Come on Brian! You can do it!” Lois shouted
“He can't hear you Lois, he's inside the TV!”
“No you idiot he's at the White house on TV! Besides I was only cheering him!” Lois replied

Brian took hold of the Mic; his heart was beating like a drum plugged into an amplifier.
“Citizens of the United States of America! Do you want to have a baby rule your lives or a pervert having sex with you or your wives every day and night? I may be of a different species, but I do know what I can do for you! In time I will lower taxes, in time I will give your children better education and in time, I will make your lives better for good! Vote for Brian Griffin, and you will have a better and brighter USA!” Brian informed and the crowd burst into excitement!

“Wow he really got them exited! Just look at all those people cheering!” Quagmire said to Stewie
“If I get a vote I am going to drag that dog's arse across the floor worse than he does when he has worms!” Stewie insisted.

“My vote is for Brian” Lois assured Peter
“Mine is for Stewie” Peter replied “Because I'll get 1 million dollars”
The next day Brian, Stewie and Quagmire all met up again outside the White house to see who was going to get through to become the President of the USA.

“Wait! If Brian and Stewie get through they will have to fight!” Lois gasped
“Ah, they'll be alright Lois” Peter replied “They have their own weapons, Brian has his teeth and Stewie has his fists! Relax! It'll all work out! You'll see!”

“The Votes are in!” The man shouted “In first place with the most votes... Brian Griffin!”
“Phew!, that's a relief” Brian gasped
“And in second place...” The man continued
“Pick me, pick me, pick me” Quagmire repeated
“Yeah in your dreams you freak!” Stewie murmured
“Stewie Griffin!” The man shouted “Now the two finalists shall fight to the end to see who will be announced the next President of the USA.

“Stewie think about this first, we could both work together and both are president!” Brian informed
“I don't think so dog, I have waited long enough to have my chance of world domination and I am not about to let it go to some dog who will do nothing but lick himself clean, chase cats and retrieve balls!” Stewie assured and he lunged at Brian and hit him to the floor.

“Oh my god!” Lois shrieked
“Wow did you.. did you see that? Stewie hit Brian to the floor with one punch! Friekin Sweet!” Peter replied

Stewie repeatedly hit Brian in the head until Brian decided he had to react. He punched Stewie off of him and caused him to stagger backwards. As soon as Stewie regained balance he only had the chance to see Brian's fist smack him in the face. Stewie fell straight to the floor. Brian still drew closer to the now terrified and crawling Stewie on the floor.

“FINISH HIM, FINISH HIM!” the crowd chanted
“Yes finish me Brian, kill me, kill your friend Stewie!” Stewie urged
Brian readied a fist... then stopped and returned his arm to his side and lowered his head to his chest.
“No... I can't” Brian sighed
“Good... Because I can finish you” Stewie roared and he released to knives from his sleeves and ran at Brian.

“Oh wow, this film is epic Lois; we have got to buy this when this comes out! Chris can you pass me the popcorn?” Peter Insisted
“Peter this is live on television and Stewie isn't gonna give up he is going to kill Brian! I'm going to go down there and stop this right now!” Lois replied

Meanwhile Stewie had again got Brian to the floor.
“You should have given up when you had the chance dog, because this is the end!” Stewie laughed. Just as Stewie was about to finish Brian off, Brian shrugged Stewie off of his back and knocked one of the knives out of Stewie's hands. Upon managing to pick one up, Stewie stabbed Brian in his left arm!
“Aaaah!” Brian cried and he instantly turned around and cut Stewie's cheek.
“What do you say we stop this before we kill each other?” Brian asked
“What about shutting the hell up?” Stewie replied
“What do you really think you’re going to accomplish here? Why don't you just join me and we both give up the fight?” Brian asked
“Why don't you burn in hell?” Stewie cursed and he threw the knife at Brian which impaled itself in his left arm!
“Aaaah!” Brian wailed
“Like it huh? This is what defeat feels like Brian!” Stewie chuckled
“This has gone far enough Stewie! I have offered you to stop this fight and join me in both being President but what do I get in return?” Brian scowled as he pulled the lodged knife from his arm and slowly walked towards Stewie who now had no weapons left! “Nothing but selfishness a desire full of hatred. Well that's it! I have tried being reasonable so I wouldn't have to do this! But you have left me no choice! I am going to kill you Stewie Griffin!”
“Oh my god, Lois was right!” Peter gasped
“Dad we have to get down there! Brian has changed for the worst and is going to kill Stewie!” Meg screamed
“Dad hurry!” Chris urged

Brian pounced on top of Stewie and raised a fist to Stewie's head. As he was about to plunge his fist into Stewie's head he heard a familiar voice!
“Brian STOP!” Lois screamed
“LOIS? LOIS!” Brian gasped and he ran towards her
“Well everybody it looks like my rival has quit. So that means I'm the winner!” Stewie announced
“Wait!, you said the rules were giving up, KO, or death right?” Brian asked
“Yeah and you gave up! Right?” the man asked
“Wrong!” Brian replied and he climbed back onto the stage and punched Stewie with such a force, Stewie flew into the White house door and fell to the floor. “KO!”

“Well Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our new president! BRIAN GRIFFIN!” The man called.


The next day, Brain was in the White house in his office. Then he heard 3 knocks on his door.
“Come in!” Brian shouted and the door opened and Lois entered the office.
“Hello, Mr President!” Lois said cheerfully
“Oh Lois, you don't have to call me by my title!” Brian replied
“But Brian, you have a title! You may as well be called after it!” Lois insisted
“Just call me by what you feel necessary!” Brian replied “Would you like a drink?”
“No thank you Brian! Besides, I best leave you to your job, I'll see you later” Lois replied
“OK goodbye Lois” Brian replied as he watched her exit his office.

A few moments later...
“Where is my service boy?” Brian asked
“Here dog!” Stewie replied wearing a black suit and tie, carrying a metal tray with a newspaper and Martini on it. “Enjoy your things Dog!” Stewie placed the Newspaper and Martini on the desk and walked out. He then quietly put the tray on the floor and peaked through the keyhole. “Yes drink your poisoned Martini dog! Drink it!”
Brian smelt the Martini then poured it on the floor!
“BLAST!” Stewie cursed
“Oh service boy!” I spilt my Martini!” Brian called as he picked up the newspaper on his desk.
“I will one day rule this world and when I do your death shall be quick and painless... or will it! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!” Stewie cackled