Peters Drunken Return

Family Guy
Peter's Drunken Return

The Griffin family were sitting on the sofa in the lounge watching TV when suddenly the door knocked 3 times.
“Now who could that be calling at this time?” Lois asked. Her hair was orange, she wore a turquoise shirt and light brown trousers. She also wore dark green earrings and red lipstick.
“I hope it isn't that perverted freak from next door!” Stewie told himself. Stewie was a 2 year old baby with the brain of an evil genius.
“Don't worry Lois I'll get it!” Peter replied. Peter was Lois' husband and was fat and dim witted. He wore a white shirt and dark green trousers and had glasses. As he opened the door he saw Quagmire.

“Hey Peter, you wanna come to the drunken clam with me and the guy's?” Quagmire asked “I here there's gonna be a lot of chicks tonight if you know what I mean huh Giggity, Giggity, Giggity, Goo!”
“Damn it!” Stewie cursed as he realised it was Quagmire. Stewie decided to walk to the door. As he looked up at Quagmire who directed his attention back to Stewie, Stewie shouted at him. “If you say that stupid motto of yours one more time... You won't have a mouth to say it out of!” Stewie insisted and he slammed the door on Quagmire and went upstairs to his room.
After watching Stewie go upstairs, Peter re-opened the door and continued his conversation with Quagmire.
“Yeah alright Quagmire this shall be a load of fun, Lois I'm going to the Drunken Clam with the guy's I'll see you later” Peter shouted
“How late Peter because I don’t want you to come home completely out of your head!” Lois replied
“It won’t be that late” Peter insisted
“It better not be!” Lois grumbled as Peter exited the door.
“I'm not fetching him back off the street again if he's out of his head like last time” Brian insisted.


“What shall we do with a drunken lard bucket? What shall we do with a drunken lard bucket? What shall we do with a drunken lard bucket?, give him another beer!” Peter sung as he swayed from left to right.
“Peter you are drunk! Get in the car!” Brian ordered
“No, no, it's OK Brian I'll walk!” Peter slurred as Brian pushed him into the car.


“It's OK Brian you won't have to because I told him yesterday, if its past 1:00am when he’s on his way back from being out drinking he sleeps over at one of the guy's houses” Lois replied
“What time is it anyway?” Brian asked
“12:30 why? Lois replied
“I'll be on your bed, no calls!” Brian replied in quick succession as he stretched and ventured upstairs.

Lois decided to go upstairs to bed as well.

Later that same night, Peter was driving home drunk and as he turned into the Griffin house drive way he saw all the lights were off.
“Ok Peter. Just gotta get through the door and upstairs” Peter told himself.
Peter exited the car and gently shut its door then crept to the front door, slowly opened it and stepped inside. Upon taking his first step to go upstairs to his room there was a flickering light to the left of the landing. Peter quickly hid behind a wardrobe giving him just enough space to spy behind the corner of it so he could see who it was. Then a figure came around the stairs. It was Brian. Taking cover again Peter tried to hide himself.
Brian was coming down the stairs.
Peter forced himself even further behind the wardrobe to keep himself hidden.
As Brian was about to go into the kitchen he spoke.
“Hello Peter” Brian whispered as he stopped beside Peter. Peter stepped from behind the wardrobe.
“How did you see me?” Peter asked as he walked up to Brian.
“Peter... You do this every night you come back late and every time I catch you!” Brian replied. Think of it like me being an F15 fighter plane and you being a jumbo jet. Which of us would be easier to find? Whilst you’re thinking about that I'd get upstairs to bed and get some sleep!”