Daddy's Little Girl

“Daddy, don’t let go. You promised you wouldn’t let go.”
“I know. I won’t let go. I promise.” The sparkles on the pink bike glowed like a diamond on a new ring. As I peddled down the street his hands stayed on the back of the seat. Just as he promised he didn’t let go.
“Daddy, look! I’m doing it. I can ride.”
“Yes you can baby girl. I’m barely able to keep up with you.”
“Don’t let go! You promised.”
“I’m not. I promise.”
“Ok.” I continued to balance. I could have without his help but I still wanted the strength of my dad. I still wanted the strong hands to hold me up.

I sat, curled into a ball, on the chair looking back to all the times I had spent with him. All the girly moments that had stuck with me as a young girl came swirling back into my vision. I could remember everything. The laughs, the tears, the endless conversations as I got older all were memories that I cherished.

Now, all the good times, along with the bad, were gone. I couldn’t bring them back. 20 years old and I still pleaded with God to bring them back, to give me a chance to cherish them again. Yet, I sat here at the edge of it all.

I wasn’t ready to let go. the daddy’s girl in me wouldn’t let him escape. All I kept saying was “Come on, open your eyes. You’re strong. You’ve always been strong for me.” That’s when it hit me. He’s always been strong for me now it was time for me to be strong for him.

The white light haunted me as I took one last look around the room. The machines that held his blood looked like they were pumping over flavored kool-aid into his veins. A light blue blanket covered his pale, yellow skin. the aroma wasn’t of cleaning supplies but of death, like he was already gone.

I stood, using the bed for support. As I leaned over to give him one last hug; one last embrace between father and daughter. As I laid my head on his chest I heard a crinkle beneath the blanket. Underneath I found a small handwritten note.

{{c:dorange}

center}Baby girl,
It’s okay to let go. Remember when I told you that I wouldn’t let go?
I’m still holding on. I will never let go. I promised you. I will stick to that
but, in order for me to do that you must first let go of me.
I love you baby girl. You know you are always mine.
Daddy’s Little Girl

Love You Forever
Daddy

Remember to look around you, I’m there somewhere.

Folding the paper and putting it into my pocket, I wiped my tears off of my cheeks and pressed the red button on his bed. The intercom came on. As clearly as I could force out beneath my tears I said, “I’m ready.” Although I couldn’t change his condition or bring him back I knew he was always there and I could always depend on him to keep his promise. No matter how much you want to hold onto your loves, sometimes you need to let go. Even though you have you might just get more than you would have if you didn’t.