Lust Over Dust

Lust over Dust


I stepped into the cold air of November. The wind pulling my hair out of my face.  I looked over to see Sonny. He was leaning against the railing of the school's front steps. A black leather bag hung over his shoulder. He was sitting lazily. His head hung down, his blond hair covering his eyes, perfect white earbuds in his ears.

Sonny looked up at the sound of the school doors opening. I walked over to him and stood beside him.

"Got suspended" I said, mumbling slightly. It was nothing new to Sonny. He was still emotionless. Still starred at the ground at his feet.
"Gonna get beat?"
"Yeah" I mumbled back. Sonny understood, more than most people.
"Wanna do a line?" Sonny inquired causally. He was gonna do a line whether or not I agreed. He was a junkie, a punk in his mind, when he was in his right mind.
"Yeah, fuck this shit" I said as I snorted the soft white powder off the railing.

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The phone rang, twice then a third time. I didn't pick up, it was the school, telling my parents I was suspended. It went to the answering machine and I quickly erased the tape. The immediate danger of my father beating me was gone, but the guilt remained. My phone buzzed, it was a text from Sonny. It read:

"T-Dawg, you told me you wanted in, here's your chance. Meet one of my runners behind the Starbucks at 47th, noon. Your first shipment will cost 200$. It's not much but you will get contacts."

I reread it a couple times. I couldn't go, but I knew I wanted in on Sonny's buisness. Trouble was I had my counsellor meeting, If I didn't make that, my parents would get another call. I picked up my phone. Dialed up Micheal.

_____________________________________________________________________

It was 1 o'clock, I'd probably be getting a text from Micheal sometime soon. I hadn't seen Sonny all day, probably due to the fact I was stuck in the counsellor's office. I would get a break in ten minutes. I don't think I have ever seen a clock go slower.

Sonny waltzed his way in at lunch, immediately we both do a line off the armrest of the chair. We spontaneously started laughing.

"Never thought we'd be doing lines in the counsellor's office."

It seemed like a second later she walked in, but that was probably the cocaine. She sat down beside me. It was only then that I realised that Sonny was gone. She was looking at me. I probably looked stoned out of my mind. Eyes bloodshot, arms limp. I laid in the chair being consumed by the cushions.

"Why are you here?" I slurred
"Course change." she replied almost nervously, but more uncomfortable.
"Not a suspension I'm guessing?" I pouted with a sad chuckle.
"No," a grin goes across her face "I stay out of trouble." It was offensive, it hurt. I loved it. It wasn't until then did I get a good look at her. She had tousled hair dyed a more bronze colour than her natural dark brown that was growing from the roots. She rested her temple in the palm of her hand, which laid on the armrest. She wore a grey cardigan over a T-shirt that read the latest brand. Jeans that no one could possibly fit into, and flats. She sat almost lazily, legs crossed at the knees, a binder sitting on her lap.

The counsellor walked in. I must have looked better because she didn't say a word about the state I probably resembled.

"Alice Cassings, I hear you're having problems with your current courses." The counsellor said trying to sound sweet, while coming across evil and snarky.

"She thinks, she, has problems." I retorted chuckling. Alice giggled as the counsellor glared at me through her glasses, past her double chin. I was sent outside after that.

_____________________________________________________________________

I got home that night to a text from Sonny. Micheal and his runner were arrested, and Sonny needed a new runner. That's when I believe I truly became a dealer.

At first it was easy, Sonny would give me an address. I would meet the client, sell him the product, watch him do a line, then I would leave. Sonny always made sure they actually did the cocaine, to be sure they weren't just reselling it. It was all well and good until K-Ron showed up.

K-Ron was a client of Orlando, Sonny's locked up runner. Orlando was a different type of dealer. He was also dealing for Darkman. The ring leader of the opposing drug ring. We found K-Ron on one of Orlando's old schedules. As soon as Sonny said he had no connection with K-Ron, we knew something was up. We had no idea what kind of game Orlando was playing.

We dealt with K-Ron for a while, he did lines like Sonny asked, but it wasn't until I was jumped by Darkman that we found out he was dealing with him.

_____________________________________________________________________

My suspension ended, and I arrived at my first math class since. I sat at the front, I was moved unwillingly by the professor. The fluorescent lights buzzed above my head, and the chalkboard filled with numbers and symbols desperately needed to be washed. We had a test Friday, it was Monday. It took me a couple seconds to realise I was being welcomed back.

The bell rang a split second before Alice made it through the door, panting.  She sat quickly at the closest spot possible. Which obviously had to be right next to me.

"Late again miss Cassings." the professor retorts disgusted.
"Lost track of time." Alice replied honestly.
"Boyfriend keeping you late?" I said jokingly
"I'm single" She replied
"Oh right! You stay out of trouble." I snickered
"We can change that." She said with a cheesy grin
"Yes we can." I smiled back, blushing.

Needless to say two days later we were dating. She helped me pass my math test. Also helped me deal with my dad at home. It felt good spending time with her. But she hated it when I went out to get stoned. Especially if she ever saw me wasted.

It was bad enough, until I got jumped by Darkman. That's when it all went downhill. A gun to my head, a chloroform cloth to my mouth, and I wake up tied to a chair.

_____________________________________________________________________

"Sit Down!" Darkman was booming, "You think you run this town?! Fucking little punk, this is my city! Mine! With every single ounce of cocaine in it!" he was holding a gun to my head. I could see the right up the barrel. That fucking shit was loaded. I was tied to a chair, it felt like something out of a bad hollywood movie. 

"Who you dealin' for?" Darkman intrigues.

"Sonny." I replied, I wasn't going to lie, what was the point. Maybe if I told the truth I could get out alive. That mentality was hard to keep.

"Sonny...That little weasel." Darkman, was pondering. "Wait, are you T-Dawg?" I didn't reply to that. That name taunted me now.

"Where's your product? When I picked you up you were on a run right?" I glance at my backpack, it was sitting about 20 feet to my left, in the dim lit room.

Darkman walked over to it.
"Don't move, you move one fucking muscle and I'm icing you right here, right now."

I almost laughed I was so nervous. First of all I was tied to a chair, how was I supposed to move. Secondly, he had the gun, if I did move wouldn't he just shoot, and I would never get to see daylight again? Darkman kicked my phone. It slid up perfectly beside me, it was buzzing.

"It's a text right?" Said Darkman
"Yeah." I replied
"From who?"
"K-Ron." I lied
"Fuck you, no it's not, don't lie to me. I know K-Ron." Darkman was ready to hit me across the face. I stopped lying.
"So does Sonny."
""Who is it?"
"Sonny."
"Fuck, fucking piece of shit. He's knows you're here, doesn't he?" Darkman was pacing. Contemplating. He was smart, I figured.
"Yeah, and K-Ron's probably dead by now."
"Alright, I can't let you go, but I can't kill you." I didn't understand what he meant when he said that but I liked the idea of making it home alive, so I didn't question his methods further.
"So?"
Darkman opened his mouth to speak again when my phone rang. It was Alice. My heart jumped. Alice! I almost screamed.
"Who is it?"
"Alice." I was done lying, anything to get some sympathy.
"Who's Alice?"
"Girl from school."
"Girlfriend?"
"Yeah." I said with a sad chuckle.
"Don't answer it."
"Wasn't gonna."
"She knows you deal?"
"No." I lied again. A white lie, I guess.
"She will after tonight."
He pointed the gun up, then down. A bullet through my foot.
"This is my city! All of it!" Darkman screamed. He cut my hands free, kicked me my phone and said
"Dial 911, you're gonna need a little more than a band-aid." then disappeared through the door.

_____________________________________________________________________

I looked up, the bright fluorescent light piercing into my eyes, with a sharp pain. I roll my head over to see Alice, sitting there, flowers in her hands and tears in her eyes.

"Tyler, I don't know if you can hear me. I knew you were a taker, I never knew you were a dealer. If you truely love me, and I'm sorry I have to say this, but you'll have to stop dealing. I can hardly handle you stoned, let alone running around at 3 a.m. don't make me deal with you getting into stuff like this." she was crying. Tears poured down her cheeks. I tried to gather the energy to say something, but I was too tired, too heavy. All I managed, was to grasp her hand, a tear swelled in my eyes, and I closed them.

They didn't let me out of the hospital for two more weeks. My dad stopped hitting me. I'm still in a relationship with Alice. She loves me, and I can't say I'm too innocent either. Sonny was killed by Darkman while I was in the hospital. Darkman wants me as his runner, I declined so I could stay with Alice. I can't say cocaine is entirely behind me. I am no longer a taker or a dealer but the scar on my foot will always remind me of who I used to be: 'T-Dawg'. Things are looking better for me. Better than they ever have.

Tyler 'T-Dawg' Ray

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