repeating behaviors, expecting different outcomes = CRAZY |
moments, of fierce exposure those moments, of fierce exposure (just after, unnoticed, some common word unlocks the small, jeweled box full of memories' secrets i keep with me), allowing moths and little fears to flutter-up), demand a certain dedication to the task at hand; and with all the choking blood, (spilt-full of hormones meant for ancient stalking and chasing), bunch up in my throat; and the sheer, detached-wonder, of watching myself set up the very-same-sucker-punch-that-lost me-the-title-in-the-first-place; and with, the rock-sinking hole in my guts, as you step in close, and whispering, (just one last time, and quite firmly, actually) report, "oh, i don't listen to my heart anymore, it just hasn't worked for me", well, . the rage (burning free, at the well-head) and humiliation (just) make me laugh, out loud (like a pratfall i've seen, in a silent movie, at least one hundred times before, but roar at, just the same) . and, now, the sting has gone out of the skin, and only the bone-anguish of memory is left; a sort of small festering soreness, one never quite sees, but can feel, at any moment, like a stolen tooth, (if only with the tip of my inner tongue) remains. |