Chapter 1

Tonya sat holding the letter in her hands. She'd read it over and over again the whole trip. The flight was roughly four hours long but it seemed like an eternity. She stared aimlessly out the small plane window at the tops of the clouds. They puffed out all around her for as for as she could see. The sky was a bright but light blue. We must be over North Dakota now. She thought to herself, The sky is always so much bluer over North Dakota. Normally, that thought would've been comforting to her but today, it only made her feel sick. Thoughts of the letter folded in her hands made her sick too. She didn't understand why her mother had felt compelled to write her a letter instead of call. A phone call would have sufficed she had thought after reading the letter through a few times when she received it a week ago.          


The day she received the letter had been horrid. When her alarm clock went off at six a.m., she had absent mindedly rolled over and hit snooze. An hour later, she awoke with a start realizing that it was now seven a.m. and only had an hour to get ready and get to work. She jumped outta bed and didn't even run to the shower, there was no time. She rummaged through the contents of the bottom drawer of her dresser and found a black pencil skirt, an old one she hadn't worn in quite some time.

The infamous day ruiners came next; pantyhose. Putting them on went off without a hitch; no runs. She opened up the drawer above that and pulled out a black sweatervest and tossed it onto the bed. She then crossed the room to her closet and threw open the doors and ran her hands over the shirts. They were soft to the touch and it calmed her a bit. She grabbed hold of a light-grey, long sleeved button down and pulled it on. She quickly buttoned it up and grabbed the sweatervest from the bed. After pulling the sweatervest over her head, she noticed she'd missed a button, so the sweatervest came off and went back on the bed. She quickly unbuttoned the shirt and restarted, this time more carefully but just as quick as the first time. She grabbed the sweatvest, pulled it on and adjusted it.

Stepping in front of the mirror, she surveyed herself, turning this way and that to make sure every article of clothing looked right. She gave herself a thumbs up and went into the bathroom. She did the usual, brushed her hair, washed her face, brushed her teeth, put on a little make up and threw her hair up into a high, bumped up ponytail. Once more she studied her reflection and after a few adjustments to her make-up she deemed herself suitable for public and hurried out of the bathroom.

She crossed the room and opened the bedroom door. The rest of the apartment past her room was dark and dull. A small pathway leading from the front door to the bedroom door, devided the living room on the left from the kitchen on the right. The living room had an overstuffed brown couch and chair that were old and dingy. There was a small television set in the corner of the room that was also old, and quite dusty. The coffee table in the middle of the arrangement was scratched and faded. There was also a bookcase. It stretched all across the back wall and was filled with books of all colors and sizes.

She'd had this furniture since she'd moved in, the previous tennant had left it to her. She guessed he had had the furniture for longer than the man could remember, but she liked the comfiness of the big chair where she usually sat and read so the age of the things didn't matter.

There was no table in the kitchen. She rarely ever ate at her apartment anyways. Upon opening the refridgerator, anyone would find a few oranges, a gallon of water, a couple to-go containers and doggy bags, some cheese, and a case of beer. There was always beer in the fridge. She had always loved it and always needed to have it in the fridge, even if she didn't drink every night. She had a microwave, a toaster, and a coffee pot. They were all old too but worked good enough. In the cupboards were only a few dishes that she needed and in a tray on the counter were her very few pieces of silverware.

She didn't walk to the windows and open the curtains this morning like she usually did if she had gotten up early enough. She speed-walked to the front closet and grabbed a coat from the inside and threw it on. She then bent over and grabbed a black high heel off the ground n slipped it on her foot. As she bent down to grab the matching pair, she noticed it wasn't there and began to turn circles, looking at the ground for it. She finally spotted it halfway into the living room and walked, half with a gimp because the other foot had a high heel on it, to pick it up. She slipped that one on, grabbed an oversized hobo bag off the couch, grabbed her keys off a nail in the wall next to the door and walked out the front door. She quickly shut it and locked all three locks.

She now had a decision to make. The apartment building housed many tennants, who always seemed to be getting on and off the old elevator. It was old and slow, much like the rest of the place and was basically a waste of time to anyone in a hurry. She also lived on the tenth floor. That is ten flights of stairs down to the mailboxes and front door. That is walking down ten flights of stairs in high heels. The decision didn't take her long. The stairs would do so she kicked off her shoes, picked them up and half ran to the end of the hall to the top of the stairs.

She bounced along down them smiling and saying hello to the few people she seen on her way. She knew quite a few people in the building. She babysat for the Jonson family in 6F on Floor 6 every now and then for a little extra money. Their kids loved her because of the stories she read to them all the time. Ms. Patrick in 8A on Floor 8 was an old, batty widow but very kind and sweet and often phoned Tonya to come have coffee and chat. Daniel lived down the hall from her in 10C. He was a friend and confidant in times of need. He had her over for supper every Wednesday night and they would stay up late and watch old movies like friends should. He loved her. She didn't love him.

There were many other people too. She knew everyone on Floor 10 and 9 and countless others from the other floors. It puzzled her as she ran down the stairs that there was barely anyone on the stairs this morning. As she ran down the last flight of stairs, a sliver in the wood caught her pantyhose and snagged, causing a run up the entire side of her leg. She stopped at the bottom and bent sideways to survey the damage and cursed loudly. She didn't have time to run back up the stairs, or take the elevator for that matter, to go back and put new ones on so she cursed again, this time quieter and shoved her heels on. She tramped across the hallway leading to the front door and only took a glance at her mailbox. She knew she didn't have time to stop and open the box and get the mail she could see crammed inside it, so she just walked on past. As she turned her gaze from the mailbox to the front doors, her heart sank. She could see clearly out the front doors now. She could see that it was raining.

Tonya stopped and looked at the ground, then shook her head. Besides waking up late and getting a run in her hose, it was raining. She had already decided going upstairs to change her pantyhose would be futile, so going up for an umbrella would be the same. She made a quick decision to take off her jacket and hold it above her head. She did this and pushed the front doors open. It was now 7:45 a.m. and she had a grand total of 15 minutes to get to the bookstore. It was a usually a twenty minute walk if she walked at a normal pace but on this morning she'd have to step it up a notch or two.

She walked quickly and looked straight ahead, not letting her gaze stray from ahead of her. Her coat was now soaked over her head and she could feel the water starting to drip down her arms and drench the sleeves of her shirt. She was frustrated inside. Everything that could have gone right had gone wrong in the last 50 minutes. It was now 10 to 8 and she still couldn't see the library in the distance. Panic rose up in her and she began to jog. She'd never been late for work before and she wasn't about to be on this morning.

As she ran her thoughts strayed from work to the mail stuffed in her mailbox. She hadn't checked it in a few days. They were bills most likey, like rent, cell phone, electricity, etc. She never received letters or anything exciting. She never expected to get them. Most of her friends lived in the building or were from work. She seen them everyday, therefore no need to write. A flash in a nearby store window broke her concentration and she looked to her right. She didn't know what the flash was but she kept looking as she walked by. The next thing she knew, she'd run head on with a woman jabbering away on her cellphone.

She dropped the coat from above her head and the ladies cell phone went crashing to the ground. The lady scowled at her, told her to watch where she was going and picked the soaking wet phone out of a puddle. She messed with a few buttons to see if it still worked, but to no avail, the screen remained black. The lady looked at her and said, "I should march you to a store and have you buy me a new one. I payed $400 for this phone. Now what am I supposed to do? Huh?"

Tonya apologized and gave the lady her number. She explained she was late for work and if there was anything that she could do the lady should just call her. The lady complained the whole time and was still complaining as Tonya apologized again and began to walk away. High maintenance New Yorkers, she thought as the bookstore came into sight. Her mind strayed again but this time to when she was little. She thought about the tree in the front yard she used to climb everyday. She thought about the swimming pool she worked at as a young teenager. She thought about that old Lincoln Continental she tried to raise hell in everynight driving around town. She was a low maintenance girl then, and still was. She laughed. It was now 8 o'clock and the bookstore was just a block away.

The last leg of what seemed like a journey to the end of the earth, she walked normally. She'd given up on being there on time. She knew Carol wouldn't mind if she was a few minutes late, considering she hadn't been late for work in the past five years. Carol would enjoy the story of her hellish morning, she always enjoyed stories of trial and tribulation and was predictable at the end as to what she would say about it. "You're alive and well though no doubt," was her usual reply accompanied with a warm smile.

She pushed open the door of the bookstore. The bell above the door chimed and she noticed the giant clock on the opposite wall behind the counter read 8:05. She knew the clock was fast so she just brushed it off. No big deal. She was soaked. After the run-in with the lady on the sidewalk, she didn't bother to put the jacket over her head again. She was soaked within the first few seconds of dropping her jacket. Carol must've heard the bell and came around the corner carrying a stack of books. She looked at Tonya in horror.

"DO NOT DRIP ALL OVER MY BOOKS!" She yelled.

"I won't. I won't. I love these books just as much as you do."

Carol nodded approvingly and walked away, humming softly and sat the books down on a table nearby. Tonya hung her coat up on a coat rack near the door. She thought she'd seen Carol shoot a disappoving glance at the placing of the jacket but when Tonya looked again, Carol was still busy humming and putting books where they should be. She shrugged and walked to the front desk, being careful not to splatter the water dripping off her everywhere. Behind the desk she picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Katie? Hey. It's Tonya. Could you bring me some dry clothing to the bookstore? It's a long story. No, I forgot to grab my umbrella when I left. I didn't even know it was raining until I got to the front doors. Yeah. Okay. Whenever you can get here. I don't care. A sweater? Yeah, that'll work. Black pants if you can. Thanks Katie. See you soon."

She hung up the phone and sat down on the stool next to her. Carol had disappeared but she could still hear her humming. She looked down and noticed the puddle she'd left where she had been standing. A sigh escaped her and she leaned forward, placing her elbows on the counter and resting her face in her hands. She felt exhausted. She'd had more than enough sleep that night, obviously since she decided to sleep in late. But the last hour had wore on her.

"Rough morning?" She heard Carol say from behind a shelf of books.

She didn't answer right away and thought of what to say. When nothing clever came to mind, she managed a "yeah" and the place was silent again. It would take Katie a while to get here from her apartment with dry clothes for her. She couldn't do much in her wet clothes and she figured Carol wouldn't even let her touch the books until she was dry.

"Well, are you going to tell me about it?" She said inquisitively.

Tonya didn't feel like talking at all, she just wanted warm clothing, but she went through the story from waking up late to the run in her pantyhose, and the rain of course and the lady on the sidewalk. Carol smiled intently at Tonya as she spoke and sure enough as Tonya finished recounting the events Carol chimed in with a, "You're alive and well no doubt." Tonya smiled at Carol's predictablity and replied with a yes.