Angel

She watched the young couple as they seemed to dance among the trees, looking for the perfect specimen that would soon be dressed in decoration finery and watching over their Christmas surprises.

The lot was full tonight. With just four days to go before the big holiday, she wasn’t surprised. She could hear the excited screams of children as they seemed to come across their perfect tree and what she assumed was their father agreeing.

Marissa tucked a stray lock of hair back under her hat and considered that she shouldn’t have taken this route on her walk. Watching the festivities and seeing the expressions she no longer seemed to be able to create only served to make her heart feel even heavier than it had the past eleven months. Ever since the accident.

This would be her first Christmas alone. Oh sure, plenty of friends had extended invitations, but she just couldn’t bring herself to spend an entire evening pretending to feel something she wasn’t yet able to. Every time she caught her reflection she could see that her eyes still looked empty, they had lost the sparkle that used to live within them and all the gifts and good cheer and popping of Christmas crackers across the table wasn’t going to be able to bring that light back to life again.

The physical scars had healed, but the emotional ones, well, they just wouldn’t let go. Twelve years together was just not enough, and why didn’t the truck try to stop that night and what if they had left just five minutes earlier. Or later. The constant conversation that spun in her head and kept her awake at night just never seemed to stop. Particularly now that the holidays had arrived.

Shaking her head to dislodge the cobwebs Marissa continued on her way, sighing as she watched the couple strap their tree onto the roof of their car. She was headed over to the main street to try and muster up enough enthusiasm to the last of her shopping finished. There had been a lot of good friends over the past year that had been there for her and she wanted to show her appreciation for what they tried to do.

Crossing the street a sudden movement caught her eye and she turned towards the store window. A small pup had rolled over and was looking up at her, his dark eyes quiet, as if pleading.

“I know the feeling,” she said to the window as the dog jumped up and began to bark.

She pulled opened the heavy door and walked in. Marissa hadn’t been in Paul’s Ponds and Pets since she had purchased a couple of koi’s two years ago for her husband’s pond he had built in the yard. She wasn’t even sure why she was there now, she didn’t need a pet, definitely didn’t need any fish now that the winter was here, but she kept moving over the threshold anyway.

“Hello,” the sixty-something gentleman behind the counter said. “What brings you in here tonight?”

“I…um…what kind of dog is that,” Marissa pointed to the front of the store.”

“I’m not quite sure. Mix of terrier and something I believe.”

“Oh. What do you do with him over the holidays, do you stay open?”

“No, and it’s a her, and she’ll go over to the pound tomorrow. Maybe someone will adopt her. And then again, maybe not.”

Before she could stop herself she blurted, “I’ll take her.”

The man looked at her with surprise, “Well, congratulations. Let me get her for you. Do you need supplies also?”

“Yes, I supposed I do,” she laughed in replied, shocked at the light sound of her own voice.

And as the little mutt was lifted on to the counter and Marissa held its face in her hands she felt the pressure in her chest lighten, as if her heart was attempting to open up once again. Catching her reflection in mirrored backsplash she was surprised at the shape of her mouth, the upward curve that had evaded her for so long. And she even thought she saw a slight glint in her eye before her glance fell back on her new friend.

The pup sat quiet as she paid for her purchases and tied the collar around the dog’s neck.

Marissa thought she might burst as she clipped the bright pink leash on the pup. Feelings that had been long suppressed and she realized with a start, unwelcomed, came flooding through her as she looked at the small face looking back at her.

“Well, my Christmas Angel,” Marissa said to the dog as she placed her on the floor, “Are you ready to go see where you live?”

And with a quick bark, the two now-not-as-lost souls left the store, and headed home right past the busy tree lot, each with a much lighter step than they had experienced in quite some time.