Everything happens for a reason

“Everything happens for a reason, no matter what happens, its suppose to happen. If your suppose to die then you will. If your suppose to fall in love and then out of it, you will. I guess this happened for a reason to. She was the greatest girl I had ever met. She was my sister, and just like that she’s gone. I was her older sister, I was suppose to protect her. But I couldn’t protect her from herself and I was to weak to protect her from everyone else. And all I can say now is goodbye. Love Ashley.”

Laney had never been popular, she was always the type of girl that you would find hidden behind a book. She was beautiful, but she never could believe it because of a cruel and horrible place most people call high school. She was a freshman that year, and she was so excited to start high school. I remember her trying on everything she owned looking for that perfect outfit. I was going to be a Senior that year, I drove her to school and dropped her off at the front door, to embarrassed to walk into the school with a freshman. Maybe if I had walked her in, it could have changed things.

It was a tradition at Ferris High School that the seniors made fun of the freshman on there first two weeks of school. Its sort of like Hell week at sororities, just our own personal high school version of it. She walked through the doors with a big smile on her face, that was her first mistake. Her second was walking up to Darren and asking him where she could find room 203. Darren was the most popular guy at Ferris, and also Allison’s Boyfriend. Allison was my best friend and the most popular girl at Ferris so it was natural that she and Darren were dating. Once Allison saw Laney talking to Darren, she told me that she was gonna make it her goal for the next two week to make Laney’s life hell. Nobody messes with Allison unless they wanted there life ruined, so I didn’t say anything to her to stop her, I should have though, that was my first mistake.

I wanted to tell her when we got home, but I couldn’t, she was so excited about her first day and I just couldn’t ruin her excitement. When Laney smiled, she could brighten a room and when she smiled you just had the natural urge to smile too.

The next day Laney walked into the cafeteria and started walking towards me. I tried subtly telling her no by slightly shaking my head, but it was too late. Allison stood up on a table and said, “ Hey everyone looky here, we got a little freshman walking towards the senior table.” Allison smiled down at Laney. Laney looked at me, her eyes filled with hope that I would help her, but all I did was look up at Allison and say, “ What do you think we should do with her?” Laney looked away from me in disappointment. “I think she should apologize and say she is a stupid and ugly girl who has no idea why she is even here.” Allison said, a cruel smile forming on her face. Once again Laney looked at me, hoping for me to help. Allison jumped down off of the table, her boots making a loud thump as she hit’s the ground, and looked at Laney, “ Well? Im waiting.” Laney looked down at the floor, her hair covering her face. Allison grabbed Laney’s chin and forced it upwards so that Laney was looking at her, “ Look at me when I talk to you. Now say it!” Laney looked at her and said, “ Im sorry that I walked over to the senior table, im a stupid and ugly girl who has no idea why she is even here.” As she said it, tears formed in her eyes. Allison laughed, “See, now was that so hard.” then Allison leaned down to Laney’s ear and whispered, “Stay the fuck away from Darren, hes mine.” Then she said out loud, “Little Laney you really should stay away from other girls boyfriends, people might think the wrong idea.” The whole cafeteria erupted in laughs and names were called out to her like ugly, bitch, whore, and many more. I looked down in shame as my sister walked away. I looked up in time to see her standing at the door to the cafeteria staring at me with a haunting expression on her face, and tears running down her cheeks.

The next couple of weeks Allison did exactly what she said she was going to , Laney’s life was hell. Everywhere she went people made fun of her, they hit her, they tortured her and Allison encouraged them. Once the two weeks were over Allison sat back and admired her work, Laney had no friends and was the outcast of the whole school. People still made fun of her and hit her. At home Laney wouldn’t talk to me, she started wearing black all the time and her skin got paler every single day. I knew there was something wrong with her, but I didn’t dig deep enough to find out.

The next day was like the rest, Laney walked in the doors of the school and someone called out a cruel name. She ran into the bathroom crying and went to the mirror and looked at herself and said, “There right you know, you are ugly, but soon it wont matter.” She smiled at herself into the mirror, her tear stained cheeks making her look like a ghost. I was hiding in the stall watching her, making sure she was okay and when I heard that I didn’t think it mattered. I just thought it was some sort of outcast thing. I should have talked to her then but I didn’t.

After school I had volleyball practice. When I got home, it was quiet. Usually when I come home I hear music coming from Laneys room, she always listened to music. Once she told me why, I remember her telling me as if it was yesterday, Her eyes were sad when she told me, she looked me in the eyes and said, “In the end music is your only friend.” I guess she was right, lately music had been her only friend.

I took a deep breath, and I called out her name, “ Laney? Are you home?” I checked almost every room in the house for her. Then I came to the bathroom, the door was open and the light was on. I walked in and there was blood on the floor and counter. I gasped and took a couple of unsteady steps backwards. “Laney!” I called out more frantically. I ran to her room and threw open the door, it slammed into the wall and I saw her. She was laying on the floor, with a razor in one hand and a note in the other. There were long cuts running up and down each arm and leg. On her face she had carved in the words “ Am I pretty enough for you yet?” I sank down to the floor and checked her pulse, her arm was stiff and cold and I knew she was dead. I picked up the note and read, “ Her sadness did not have that. It dripped slowly into her life without her noticing it, at least, not noticing it until it consumed her fully and smothered her with darkness.” And then I picked up the cold, dead body of my sister and cried into her shirt. I sat there with her and cried until my mother got home and called the police. They took Laney away from me in a black bag, and calmly told us they were very sorry about what had happened. Then the cop looked at me and asked if I knew why Laney would have done this. I looked into the cops eyes, and nodded and whispered one word, “Allison.” They took me to the station and I told them everything.

Five days later we had the funeral, on Laney’s 15th birthday. A lot of people from school attended. Allison was there. I hadn’t been to school since Laney’s death, and I hadn’t talked to anyone else either. Moms been ignoring me, she wont look me in the eyes, the last time she talked to me was after I confessed what had happened to Laney. She looked me in the eyes, and said, “Ashley, why didn’t you saver her. You could have saved her. If you had been her sister she would still be here now. Your no daughter of mine.” I could see the pain and hate in her eyes. She blamed me for Lanes death, she has a right to, its all my fault.

The ceremony started, and once it was over I got up and walked to the podium. I looked around at all the people here for Laney. Then I looked at all the people who killed her. “They said the good die young. I guess this is true for Laney. She was my sister, and she was the nicest, sweetest, and prettiest girl I had ever met. And she killed herself because she couldn’t handle the comments, the tourcher, that everyone at school thought she deserved. All because she talked to one person and asked for help. She asked me for help too, but I was to scared to ruin my reputation. Where is a reputation gonna get us in life anyways. I lost my sister before she killed herself, I lost her that very first day that I didn’t help her. She was an outcast, and if being a good person makes you an outcast then I want to be one too. I will miss Laney every day for the rest of my life, and I will regret not helping her. Not protecting her.”

The next day at school, no one talked to me, and then Allison walked up to me, “Ya know Ashley, we didn’t kill your sister. You did. You said it yourself you could have helped her, but ya didn’t. And your about to get your wish, you’re an outcast just like your sister.” I could feel the tears forming in my eyes when Allison walked away from me laughing. The next week of school was horrible, I felt what Laney felt, I had no friends, no one talked to me, and they called me names and made jokes about Laney.

When I went home it didn’t stop, mom drank all the time now, she wouldn’t talk to me. That day I went into the bathroom and looked at myself, I felt what Laney felt that day she talked to herself in the bathroom. Then I whispered to myself, “It will all be over soon.” I cut a slit down my arm and dipped my finger in my blood and wrote on the mirror “Let no one Think I gave in” and walked into my room and wrote down on a piece of paper, “Everything happens for a reason, no matter what happens, its suppose to happen. If your suppose to die then you will. If your suppose to fall in love and then out of it, you will. I guess this happened for a reason to. She was the greatest girl I had ever met. She was my sister, and just like that she’s gone. I was her older sister, I was suppose to protect her. But I couldn’t protect her from herself and I was to weak to protect her from everyone else. And all I can say now is goodbye. Love Ashley.” then I grabbed a razor and slit my wrists and neck. Then I said goodbye to my life and I smiled and said, “I’ll see you soon Laney.”

Then I watched all the blood flow out my arms like a river until I gently drifted away…..