My Monster

I don` t know exactly how I would describe it. I don` t feel human at times. At some times its like I` m someone else. A creature of some sort. One that craves blood and wants to attack people. I don` t let people see this side of me. It` s as if I have my own monster. A creature that live insided my body that wants controll. A creature that wishes to cause havoc on people. When I start to yell and fight with someone I can feel him inside my body. He starts clawing on the insides trying to break free. When it comes to frowing fist. I don` t feel like punching or kicking. I feel like biting or clawing. I want to cause the person pain. It` s as if my rage is its own person. Someone who wants controll of the body that its in. When I start loosing controll I` m someone else. My eyes are pain full. Its as if its trying to see. Its are sinister. Eyes that say they want to bring pain. Eyes of a monster. I don` t know how he was born. Was he always with me? My bad emotions taking their own form? When I` m sad, mad, depressed, or filled with rage I feel him get stronger. I don` t know who I am. I don` t want to turn into the monster that is inside fighting for controll. I fight him every day each day I come closer to loosing. When I do I` ll become the monster that is inside. A beast driven by its emotions. One unable to keep its emotions back. One that lets everything show. This is a monster that I created from my dark emotions. When I was little I had no cotroll of my emotions. They just forced there way out. Eventually no one cared about how I felt. They just let me be by myself to deal with my own emotions.I had no choice to hold back my emotions. But they weren` t happy. They wanted out. They craved the attention that they recieved. They took their own form into the monster that lives in this body with me. They fight to get there way out. I had people to help when I was little. But they gaved up. They didn` t want to stay with this. Now its just me facing this monster that I` ve created. I fight but I won` t always be able to win. Eventually he breaks through and gains controll. It lets my buried emotions run free. I` ll be lucky and push him back. Keep him buried for as long as I can. There will be no one to come and save me from this monster. This monster was created because people think it is a problem to let your emotions show. That they need to be bury. Well all that did was make things worse. Emotions need to get out. If they don` t then control over your body is lost to your emotions over time. Don` t keep them buried. Let all the dark emotions out when your alone, or with people who will help you through. Then let all of your good emotions out to shine on those you love.