Into the Fog

Into the Fog


By: Chelsea Nicole Reese

Through the treacherous and dark morning fog, in the heart beat of the moment, a shift in the tide is visible, a shift that lifts my spirits and lets me know that in the end, I will be where I am meant to be.

Walking along the beach, as the sand gently sifts through my bare toes, I am moved to a state of awe. Like the lone sand dollar in the water beaten sand, waiting to be found. I wander into the fog in hope of finding myself from within.

My face, once dry, is now laced with streams of water, I pray that it is the gods raining their healing mist upon me, to save my soul from the black hole engulfing my being. But, it is only my own broken tears, finally escaping my once euphoric mind. As each tear falls, I walk further and further into the vast emptiness of my own shattered reality. With each step taken I can feel the weight of the fog baring down on me. I tell myself that once I reach the end, it will all be lifted.

As hard as I try not to, I can feel the pull of the demons from my past trying to drag me back to the place I have tried so hard to escape. I see their empty dark eyes luring me to be within their everlasting grasp. Looking back now I hesitate to take my next step. Fearing to be caught in the fog, yet exhilarated by the thought of stepping into the unknown. With one final glance back, my foot finds its way forward.

My eyes filled with pain and anguish find their way towards the heavens, where peaking through the dense fog, shines the most pure light I‘ve ever seen. That, I tell myself, is my destination. Through this journey I pray I will find what I have lost. Walking blind with faith alone to guide me, I begin to create my path.

One of my favorite stories is the journey of The Footprints in the Sand. As I look back into the past, there is only one set of prints. I hope that it is God carrying me through, but, I know by the weight of the world on my shoulders that I am indeed alone on this journey. Which is the way it was meant to be traveled.

With no visibility I helplessly feel my way towards the Cliffside looking for a way to get to the top. The Top of the cliff is where my destination lay, where I know if I reach out I will be able to touch my awaiting light.This will be the most difficult part of this venture, and this is the part I look forward to the most. The danger gives me the fire to go through. The exhilaration of the boundless unstable cliff makes me feel alive again. With that, I begin to climb.

My chest pounds as I begin to ascend the jagged Cliffside. Although still blinded by the fog, I know exactly where I am going, as if being guided by some entity made purely of courage. Breathing in the moment fills me with the hope needed to continue on. The higher I climb, the lighter I feel. Focusing only on the light and my own heartbeat makes this journey seem effortless.

So many thoughts are racing through my mind as I pull myself up the cliff. Thoughts that begin to cloud my judgment the further I climb. I begin to feel the sorrow and fear again. I try to push it out of my mind but it starts taking me over completely. My hands start to sweat and my once tight and sure grip begins to fail.

I am so close to the top I can feel the heat of the light warming my dead cold skin. Pausing for a moment, I try bringing myself to a state of calm. Which in turn adds to my anxiety and starts to clouds my mind completely. My foot tries to find something stable to catch on and fails. My hands grasps on to a branch and I hold on for my pitiful life. My knees, now cut up from crashing against the side of the cliff, start to bleed.

At this point I think about giving up. Just letting go and falling down to the dark sea below. But, my a newfound fire convinces me to go on. I know what is waiting for me and I cannot let go of that feeling. So I try again, my foot finally finds a ledge to step on and I pull myself further and further up. Up towards my new future, my new life, my new me. There is not much farther to travel now and hopefully no obstacles or troubles to slow me down.

As close as I am, I still feel so far away. The light is almost within my reach and I want so badly to just jump out and grab it. And when I reach out I pray a hand takes hold of mine and pulls me through. Whose hand I‘ve yet to fathom, be it the divine or someone unexpected I do not care. Because this hand will be the answer to my prayers. To be lifted through the fog and redeemed from this life that has fallen apart around me will save my soul.

With a few final pulls my hand reaches the top of the cliff. Very carefully I peak my head over the top, the sight nearly knocking me down. Pulling myself the rest of the way up, all I am able to do now was stare breathlessly. Above the fog awaiting me is the world I have only, until now, been able to dream of. Tree’s touching the sky and a sea of the most beautiful colored flowers covered the cliff Top. So much green my eyes could barely see through the tears streaming down.

Falling to my knees my cries take over my body completely. These tears have been trapped for so long, having them release pulls away all the weight that is still baring down on me. Feeling like a cloud floating effortlessly through the endless blue sky, I realize that my worries are behind me . To see this sky through my ancient eyes fulfilled my hearts empty hole. The light that I had awaited engulfed my entire being and lifted me to the heavens. With my arms outstretched I prayed to the Creator to save me. To take upon himself my sins and burdens, so that together we could take on this new path my life will lead. That’s when I felt the pull. Unlike the pull my past had always tried, this was new. This was the helping hand I had hoped for.

This was not the divine hand. This was a hand I have always known. So familiar to me, yet I had never truly felt it before. Letting myself be weightless and giving into the pull, I rise above the beautiful and breathtaking new world. Closing my eyes now, all I can feel is the complete peace of my entire being. My mind once again in utopia. Never have I felt so in sync with the universe. I am now one with every piece of matter in existence. This must be what the Creator feels every second of everyday. If only everyone felt like this, there would be peace in this war torn life. No troubles, no pain, The way life is supposed to be lived.

I have waited for so long to come out of this state of torn and lost self preservation. Always in my locked shell, afraid to give in to the light. How I held on to the dark for so long I will never understand. Why I held on is an even bigger question. This new me is the person that has always wanted to take over. And all along she was inside waiting for the moment to unchain and let herself out. Giving in to the unknown realities within the fog was the answer. It just took me an eternity to figure it out.


If only all the time I had spent on this earth had measured up partially to what I feel now, I would have never been so lost.

But, then again,


I would have never truly found my way.