The demon within

I woke up screaming on the cold wooden floor of my room. Thankfully, both my parents were working this night, and no one was home to hear me scream. I was thankful for that, I didn't want to be disturbed right now, I had to clear my head for a while. I opened the door to my bedroom and walked through the moonlit living room to the bathroom. Still shaken from the horrible nightmare, I leaned against the sink and let the water run as I looked myself in the mirror.

I realized that there was something different about the boy looking back at me, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. The strong feeling of hopelessnes and sadness from my nightmare still filled my body, and I felt as if all was lost. The clear, whispering voice from the dream still echoed in my head too, repeating the same words over and over again, words that I could not understand. What demon have I unleashed on myself?, I asked myself in the mirror.

It had all begun about a week ago, shortly after I turned 16, when a friend told me about a cool way of manipulating your dreams and controlling them. He told me it was called Lucid dreaming. As we were both rather interested in spiritual things like dreams, I listened as he described how he, through meditation and mind excercises, now had the power to control his dreams and do whatever he wanted in them. Of course I didn't believe him at first, it sounded too good to be true. But as he went on about it and showed me alot of research on the subject, I got more and more convinced that he might be telling the truth. Besides, he had never lied to me before.

Later that day I decided to try the methods he had told me about, and the very same night I felt something in my dreams. I wasn't in control of the dream or anything, but I had no expectations of that either, my friend had told me it would take time for it to work. But I felt a strange warmth rushing through me as I dreamed, giving me a feeling of great power. But at the same time, I felt as if something was really wrong, and something inside me kept telling me to run.

I should have listened to that voice and stopped then and there, but stupid little me was too curious not to explore this sensation further. If only I had quit when I had the chance.

Sure, the first few days were great. Every night I progressed, with every dream I felt a little more in control, and I always felt that intoxicating feeling of warmth and power. And after four days I could actually influence some of the things that happened in my dreams just by thinking about them. But the dreams were always accompanied by the litte voice telling me to run, and soon enough, my dreams started turning into nightmares. And it was more than my dreams that had started changing.

I first noticed it at gym class when our teacher told us to climb the ropes as part of our physical tests. I had never been much of an athlete, I much preferred a good book before excercising, and I had never been able to climb that god forsaken rope. But this day, as I walked up to the rope and grabbed it, I felt that same feeling of warmth and power rushing through me, just as it had in my dreams.

I felt stronger than I ever had, and as i pulled myself up, I noticed how much lighter I felt, and how easy it was to climb the rope. I reached the roof on record time, receiving a loud cheer from my classmates down below. But just as I was about to start climbing down again, I suddenly felt cold and scared, and the voice inside me shouted once again; "Run!".

Before I could even think about what the voice had said, my vision went pitch black, as if someone had suddenly turned off the lights. Then the scariest sound I had ever heard echoed loudly through my head, and I felt as if it tore my skull open. I felt myself letting go of the rope to grab my aching head, there was nothing in the world but the sound and the pain now. I didn't even notice that I was falling until I hit the floor and more pain shot through my body. And then the pain went away as suddenly as it had started, and the world was silent. Dark, cold silence.

I could hear screaming as if from a distance as I slowly regained conciousness and realized where I was. At first, everything was blurry when I opened my eyes, and the bright lights made me blink frantically. Slowly, the blurry images took shape, and I could see our teacher leaning over me, asking me if I was alright. "I'm fine.", I said as I sat up, and I realized that I actually was. Despite what had just happened, I felt no pain. In fact, I felt better than ever.

"Are you sure?" the teacher asked. "you took a pretty bad fall there." I jumped to my feet, insuring him that I was completely fine, and the classmates who had gathered around scattered and the lesson went back to normal. Except for me. I exceeded every one of my previous records that day, running faster than I had ever run, doing far more pushups than I had ever done. I felt unstoppable. And yet, that naggering feeling of fear and despair just wouldn't go away.

Later that night, as I slept, I suddenly became aware that I was dreaming, and that I was in full control of it all. All excited, I immediately tried something I had always wanted to do; i flew. To my surprise, it actually worked, and before I knew it I was soaring through the air over magnificent landscapes. But then suddenly, the little voice whispered in my ear again; "Run!" and shortly after followed that horrible scream, causing me to once again close my eyes and grab my head in pain.

When the scream stopped and I opened my eyes, I was no longed flying. Instead, I noticed that I stood barefoot in pitch black soil, surrounded on all sides by dark, shadowy flames. Terrified, I tried to scream in panic and run, but both my voice and my legs failed me, I did not make a sound nor move an inch. All I could do was stand there, frozen in place, as the panic flushed over me. Wake up damn it! Why can't I wake up?!, I shouted at myself in my head. "Do you enjoy the powers I have given you?" a dark voice said from out of nowhere. And suddenly, the flames began to take shape in front of me, and what I saw made me more afraid than I had ever been in my whole life.

"Does my form frighten you, little boy?" the horrible being in front of me said. Unable to answer it, I stood there with my eyes wide open, trembling with fear. "Yes.. You should be afraid, mortal. Be very afraid!" it continued, followed by a laugh, a horrible laugh sending shivers down my spine.

I woke up screaming and quickly jumped to my feet, panicing until I realized that I was back in my own room. I noticed that I was out of breath, and I could feel my heart beating faster than ever. I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, trying to force the image of the horrible being out of my head. I wanted to cry, but couldn't. I felt cold inside, as if nothing mattered any more. What have you done, man?, I asked myself.