My Tuna, Nutella and Avocado Sandwich

I once concocted a tuna fish, Nutella and avocado sandwich. I was testing the hypothesis that Nutella and avocado-- two of my favorite foods-- will go with anything. Cross tuna off the list. What do i have to thank for the audaciousness to assemble such an epic sandwich? Marijuana. It started like this: I was packing lunch to take to a music festival in San Francisco, and one of my friends asked if I wanted half of her tuna can. I said yes, as i never turn down free food, no matter what it is. I don’t have enough money to be picky about where I acquire sustenance. So with this half can before me, I contemplated making a traditional tuna sandwich. At this point i was very high, having consumed a marijuana cupcake a hour before, and the thought of creating the same sandwich as hundreds I ate before felt terribly confining. “I will not stand for this,” I thought indignantly while staring daggers into the pathetic jar of mayo. The problem was not the taste mayo would provide-- I knew it would produce a delicious sandwich-- but that it was too easy. I knew mayo and tuna go well together, but where was the mystery in that? When I’m high I’m bored by known and predictable things, as there is nothing left to learn, no mysteries to unlock or secrets to unearth, activities my high mind reflexively wants to do. Therefore I demanded a new tuna sandwich. Having rejected mayo as a viable option, I knew I needed something, as laziness and a lack of mayo had once forced me to eat a tuna sandwich with only tuna and two pieces of bread, which was extremely dry and unappetizing, like eating white meat at thanksgiving after the gravy ran out. The tuna needed to be coated with something, and i instantly knew the food: Nutella. For those poor unenlightened saps, Nutella is a viscous chocolate paste that is a delicious spread on breads and bagels, but when those are unavailable I often spoon it right out of the jar. Luckily i brought some to snack on for the weekend, as its creamy chocolate goodness proved to be the perfect lubricant to tuna’s dryness, while adding its own delicious flavor. After adding the tuna and Nutella, I spied half an avocado sitting on the kitchen counter. I have been obsessed with this magical fruit since discovering it several years ago, making my heart skip a beat at the prospect of adding it to my sandwich. I looked around for the potential owner of this surprise treasure, who happened to be standing next to me. “Oh you can take that too,” my friend said. “I cant use it.” Unable to believe my tremendous luck, I added the avocado and pressed the two half's together, certain to equally distribute the tuna, Nutella and avocado to mix the flavors fully. I enjoyed it several hours later while sitting at the festival in Golden Gate Park just after smoking a fat bowl, and at that moment- with great friends, music and munchies- life was good.