Every Woman's Nightmare

“Every Woman’s Nightmare”

Ever since college, I have always needed some kind of ambient noise to keep me focused when I was alone.  Radio, TV, music - whatever was on hand, to keep my mind from wondering to the distractions outside my immediate space.  It helped me study.  It kept me on task.  I didn’t necessarily listen to or watch it, but just seemed to need it in the background.  That is still the case today.

Since I am now retired and am home more often during the day, I tend to rely on the television for that noise that I need.  Sometimes, Steve will come into the room and ask me why I am watching The Jerry Springer Show or Professional Bull Riding.  When I tell him I am not watching anything, he looks at me like I am crazy.  It doesn’t matter what is on, it is that it is on.  It’s all about the noise.

The one big downfall of having the television on is the commercials. Not all commercials, just some.  Maybe it is the catchy tunes that distract me or the fact that the volume tends to spike when some commercials air. Regardless, my focus shifts to the TV and I have discovered some pretty distasteful and downright disgusting commercials are being aired.

While the commercials that deal with constipation and/or diarrhea are pretty unappetizing topics (they always seem to air at mealtimes,) they pale in comparison to those commercials that claim to aid men with their performance issues.  When did these ads pop up? 
To me, the biggest offender is Viagra.  I think it is criminal that these advertisers ruined a perfectly good song like “Viva Las Vegas” by changing the words and replacing the title with “Viva Viagra.”  I can never listen to that song again without thinking of erectile dysfunction!  Elvis must be spinning in his grave.

Then, there are those with Smiling Bob (Enzyte Natural Male Enhancement.)  He used this male enhancement pill and is now the envy of all the other men and women in the neighborhood.  Very campy, with clever innuendo, catchy music, whistling notwithstanding.  However that stupid grin on his face is enough to irritate me to no end.  And, don’t get me started on his wife, gazing adoringly into Smiling Bob’s eyes, like a hungry puppy!

Finally, there is Cialis, also promising enhanced male performance.  A little more tasteful in how they promote their product – loving couples watching sunsets, fine dining, and soft music.  Then, it ends with the disclaimer warning the consumer to seek medical attention for an erection that lasts more than 4 hours.  EVERY Woman’s nightmare!

Whatever happened to those little men who dressed up in fruit costumes?  I think they were pushing underwear.  At least they were cute and they danced.