Where art thou?

Tears drop down my face once again
Wonder if there's an end
To all of this pain
Night after night i am left drained
There must be something to gain
From all the suffering
Happiness must just be buffering
Lately i've been wondering
I need to find my way back to reality
Maybe if i choose the right mentality
Id free myself from my soul's profanity
So I search for God constantly
Taunting Him to appear miracously
And teach me to live this life happily
Despite all the animosity

Only He can help me breakthru
the soul wrecking, mind fucking, heart breaking difficulties
That rip you apart and make you question your own sanity
Pins you to the floor and smashes your dignity
Crushes your body leaving it weak
Defenseless against life's kicks
Maybe if you decided to tweak..
It would all feel a little less bleak

Days turn into weeks
Weeks into months and these into years
Sure wont last or stand a hundred
But who knows how much longer
Not able to see how this can make me anymore stronger
Heart, soul and mind please be naive as when younger
When this place seemed a little bit brighter