....... caution: flammable material ...

...................................................


it's was saturday, about noon ...

i'm at the coffee shop ...

i went there after working out ...

i get a call ...

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it's mom ....

she has to to ask ...

who she has called ...

it's me ..

i say ...

oh, i thought i called mark, she says ...

my brother that is ...

then she starts rambling on ....

that's what she does best ...

once she gets going ...

you can't get a word in edge wise ....

i try to wait for a pause in her conversations ...

but, she ever take a breath ...

sometimes, i have to loudly interrupt her ...

mom, will you let me say something ...

finally, i do get a word in ...

but it never lasts ...

because she starts going on and on again ...

having a conversation with her can be very frustrating ...

..........................................................



well ...

she had bought a new couch ...

she liked it very much ...

until she discovered a tag on one of the cushions ...

it said ...

caution: flammable material ....

do not smoke or burn candles around the this material ...

so, now she become paranoid ...

that, the couch is going to catch fire ...

this, is worrying her to no end ...

and she is mad ...

at the the manteo furniture company ...

where she bought it ...

they didn't warn her that it could catch fire ...

she now very nervous ...

trying to figure out what to do next ...

go back and complain to the furnature company ...

return it ...

call the fire department ...

to me this is all just to funny ...

i try to tell her ...

it's just one of those legal obligations ...

that the furniture manufactures have to comply with ...

i tell her things change ...

it's just some new law ...

like those tags, i remember seeing that say ...

do not remove under penalty of law ...

they were on every pillow, cushion, ect. ever made ...

she does remember those tags ...

this doesn't calm her down ...

i never removed them, she said ...

i'm giggling to myself at that remark ...

i tell her things change ...

it's just something new ...

she goes on and on about what she should do ...

i tell her ...

call the fire department ...

they are trained about what's flammable in house fires ...

that didn't set well with her ...

i tell her ...

then, just wait ...

go back to that furniture company ....

when it opens up again ...

and ask them about it ...

but, that would be to embarrassing for her ...

so, i say ...

then when you go back there ...

look around and see if it's on all the furniture they sell ...

then you'll know it's nothing to worry about ...

that it's common ...

that becomes the plan for her ...

........................................................



now, it's sunday ...

where am i ...

the coffee shop ...

i go there every sunday ...

to call my relatives from there ...

and catch up ...

my other brother calls from california ...

the first thing he says is ...

"mom's new couch is on fire" ...

we both bust out laughing ...

i now knew, that mom had called him on the couch issue ...

he goes on to say ...

mom had told him the whole conversation that her and i had ...

and they had a good laugh about it ...

another momism ...

..............................................................



after talking to him ...

i call mom ...

saying, i just talked to chuck ...

so, now she can laugh at the whole situation ...

this doesn't mean it's all over though ...

she's still going back to that furniture company ...

to make sure everything's going to be alright with the couch ...

she says ...

"i got it in my head" ....

another momism ...

to keep the humor going ..

i told her ...

what ever you do ...

don't fart into the cushions ...

they'll explode ...

then she laughs and says ...

i'd better get rid of it...

before, you boys come here ...

...............................................................



i don't know if it's a generational thing ....

that they can't handle change ...

or ...

if it's the way you get when your of that age ....

i hope, when i get that old ...

i can still accept change ...

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