Dragons Are So MisUnderstood

So what is so wrong with a dragon who steals a cow and occasionally burns down a barn? At least it gives the peasants some excitement, instead of talking about, 'How many eggs widow Jenkins collected last week! or 'Did you see the size of Timmy Riley's Hog! - (Boring!)

Now enter- 'The damsel in distress', she is nearly always a Princess-out riding (alone), near some caves or close to an abandoned castle! (are you catching on?) Two things that dragons love to do: 1. Live in caves and abandoned castles. 2. Capture Princess' and eat them. Now this happens like clockwork, you'd think her parents would question the logic of their (only) daughter riding unescorted. (guess who passed her their brain cells!)

There she is captured by a dragon, (imagine that!), he takes her to his cave/castle and then what happens - he sleeps! Yes he always does, capture a Princess, take a nap! (every time) He doesn't eat her right away - Why? (remember the cow?) Yep, he is full (probably ate more than one cow, though, big appetite) So after a mealtime belch, he sleeps. So what does the Princess do (wait for it!), NOTHING!

Why not sneak past the dragon while he snores (they always snore!) or crawl out the window and climb down the Ivy? (there's always Ivy)  NO!- she screams and cowers in a corner! The dragon wakes up, (who could possibly sleep with all that screaming going on!) and the stage is set for- (can you guess?) (Drum role please!) In enters the handsome Knight (they're always handsome!) On a white horse (they're always white!) and he is always young and brave!(Argh!) 

People!-Who teaches this? - sheesh! Is it in some musty-dusty How To manual?:

Look under; How to become a Knight! Step 1. - Wear shiny, cold, uncomfortable armor. Step 2. - Fight big, ferocious, fire-breathing monsters. Step 3. - Rescue weak, defenceless (huh, just watch her at a going-out-of-stock, jeweled tiara sale!), thimblebrained, blonde (they're always blonde) Princess' (Puleeze!) Guess what happens next? (don't pop a brain cell trying!) - the dragon roars, the Princess screams (no kidding!) and the Knight charges! (Why? why?) (just once I would like to see the Knight ride off into the sunset, with the Dragon!)

No!, exit one dragon, and our Knight and his Lady live happily ever after! (NOT!) Just how happy could they be?- she hasn't the brains she was born with and he has written on his resume- Under skills... jousting, fighting fire-breathing dragons, swilling mead and rescuing damsels in distress! (I'd hire him, wouldn't you?)

See there's the poor dragon forced to eat, loud, brainless Princess' and fight 'wet-behind-the-ears',Knights; when all he wanted to do was burn down a barn, eat a cow and sleep!

©Sinnari
June 22/2001