The shadowy proposal

I
...Wish to know what is more miserable the incapableness of one’s self. I witness the shame; I suffer from burden of kindness. What will you do if you are in the same situation?
I have waited until the Wrath arrives and takes over me. I could do no more than being its prey willingly.
Wrath- one of the Seven Deadly Sins comes not as an enemy, or whom people would curse him for thousands of time. So strangely, it is here without sneaking, like a thief; or defending, like an offender in a court; or dressing up the hypocrite’s attitude. More sincerely than ever, it holds me tight in its arms, sucking in my every breath. That Wrath is devious. Its voice tempts my entire mind. Of course, I cannot and I will not consider this …
… Guilt
Wrath
         “They said you were just a little girl and nothing more. They keep saying those hurtful words until you are fed up but it is still not enough.
Because it is still not enough for such a simple mind, they start torturing your soul- a bit, just a little bit-every day throughout years. You begin to put up non-answer questions. Soon, you forget the most part, except one,
‘Betray them, or betray myself? ‘
When you get older and stronger, although that it is no help- you build a guise. A guise, so you could keep yourself alive and different. Too different to make friend with the normal, might be. And now you aren’t sure that you are alive.
In the dead of the night. It was hard to sleep. You had the same complaints as any unsleeping person in the world. You didn’t have the same reason for these complaints, I knew. It seemed you were thinking but no. Your head went blank .You thought you suffered no burden- or was that my opinion? If so, then I was wrong. You were unpredictable, to others and also, to me- a celestial intelligence.
Quiet space freaked you out. You made a quick decision. Shyly you spoke a word and get confused for a while. I was shock. You had spoken my name. Didn’t you know that my name is forbidden, because it was cursed by priests and priestesses eras ago?
I thought I was in a dream, as your lips uttered the word again
I felt free and so did you. Freedom to you might be risky but also worth having a taste.
You repeated my name. You had found doing it extremely enjoyable. You called me softly. Your voice was as smooth as honey. Frankly, I could ignore you, and turn away, vanishing into the air, leaving you there as you were acting like a fool. Only one thing – how could I ignore my self’s request
‘Wrath…Wrath…’
I wished to stay but the circumstance didn’t allow me.



Once I visited you in purpose. You were sleeping. Your eyes closed peacefully. The sound of the summer rain echoed in every corner of the room. Suddenly came a lightning flash. Its blue light passed quickly on your face.
In a glimpse, I could see that all desperations had gone. No names were spoken. Why I had this un-named madness? Its flame burnt quietly but malevolently on the inside. You had begged for my patronization, but at that moment it seemed you didn’t need me anymore.
Now it turned that I needed you. I would never admit this. I didn’t have courage to betray my prideful ego.
I wished deeply to break your restful sleep or to have someone fulfill my want. Then nightmares attached themselves to you and immediately they worked on you very hard.
It looked like your soul was being torn to pieces because of my gluttonous nightmares. Your body writhed in silent agony. You woke up in fear. The more you try to conceal your fear and to protect your childish pride, the more you let me see through your mind
I saw that you were just another creature happened to draw my attention. The matter was too stupidly simple that it disappointed me.
Your pair of eyes searched over and over the gloomy room, unexpectedly they met mine. Such fiercely enchanting gems they were so that I was captivated wholly. They were as entrails which led me to a ghostly well, drowning me there.
To me, for a long time you had been the object of my mischievous play. You were source of my pathetic joy. A puppet which I used to entertain the boring life of an immortal. I had cared not much about your emotion and esteem, only observed how your hot-tempered reaction went funny, then giving myself a round of applaud.
Now I am asking you to forgive me.
Did you know that; when our eyes met, I had thought you could feel my present? That I had known the fear of a criminal if he was caught doing misdeed? A noble immortal being compared with a human thief? That was shameful.

For the first time I hadn’t been angry because of a chilly stare from you human.
I stayed, so did all of the nightmares, but it wasn’t my purpose to torture you for the rest of your night. These annoying entities followed me every second even I couldn’t dispel them.
Consequently, you were exhausted and irascible the next day as if your life force had been completely drained out. I should not speak any further about this
I started watching you with more and more fondness. No wonder why I felt so mad when I was told to leave. Since I was created in one of the names of the Eternal Darkness, I had stuck with a fate. A fate which I had to worship it. A fate which tore us apart.
“Forget me not,” I whispered. Because I am not an ephemerid flower but an everlasting being so this was a curse I had selfishly laid on you.
You laughed with your friends.
I knew you couldn’t hear what I had said. No ordinary person could either hear or see an immortal. So why I still hoped? What was this feeling that overwhelming me and why I didn’t resist it?
I desired to see your smile accepting my words.
Then you smiled, but with a boy. In front of my eyes you did it. His mortal face, his silly arrogance disgusted me.
“Forget me not,” I cried. “Hear me! Feel me!”
It was obviously no use.
I had to go. I laid my eyes on you for hours, but my curse on you was forever.”