The Way We Fall

SETTING: A park, late afternoon. A wooden bench is center right. To the left of the bench is a green metal garbage can. A tree with orange leaves is center left. A path runs in front of the bench and under the tree. The theater is cold.

CHARACTERS:

MAY: A young woman. She is tall, late twenties. Her hair is orange and her skin is pale. She is dressed in a tight white shirt and black shorts. An iPod is clipped to her waist and in her ears.

SCOOP: A young man, also in his late twenties. He is dressed in tight jeans, a jean jacket, and a plaid button up shirt. His hair is dirty blonde. He has a beard, about an inch thick. His whole look is very indie.

TAYLOR: A young child. Longer hair, has a rubber jacket on, dress shoes, and jeans.



Lights up. MAY enters stage left. She steadily jogs across stage, along the path, and exits stage right. Enter SCOOP, stage right. SCOOP walks along slowly, hands in his pocket, and looks around. He sits down on the bench. He reaches into his jacket, procuring a cigarette. SCOOP smokes the cigarette and drops it in the garbage can. He stays for a few more moments, and exits stage left.

The lights fade out and back again. SCOOP walks on from stage right and goes to the bench. He takes out his cigarettes but does not take retrieve one. He looks straight ahead. MAY jogs on from stage right and stops under the tree, catching her breath. She unplugs her iPod and looks at SCOOP.

MAY: Hey, new fish, is that you?

SCOOP: Huh? Are you talking to me?

MAY: You just started working at Miller Insurance, didn’t you?

SCOOP: Yea, yesterday was my first day. Do I know you?

MAY crosses to SCOOP and holds her hand out. SCOOP shakes it.

MAY: I’m May. I work on the third floor. You bring me my mail.

SCOOP: Do I? Neat. Nice to meet you, May. I’m Scott. Friends call me Scoop.

MAY: Any particular reason?

SCOOP: Long story. A camping trip, nothing to do, word association. The product was Scoop. And it stuck. Any reason they call you May?

MAY: Well, when I was born, the people who made me decided they liked the name. They wrote it on a piece of paper, gave it to the government, and it stuck.

SCOOP: Smart ass, are we?

MAY: A bit. Anyways, I’ll see you later, Scoop.

SCOOP: Hopefully. I’ll keep my eye out when I’m on the third floor.

MAY puts her ipod back in, and jogs off stage right.

SCOOP: Smart ass, and not a bad ass on her either.

Lights fade out and back again. SCOOP is sitting on the bench, lit cigarette in hand. MAY jogs on from stage left, slows, and removes her iPod once again.

MAY: Hey new fish. You didn’t come and see me today.

SCOOP: Sorry, mam. I hadn’t realized you were one of the mandatory stops on my route.

MAY: Well, now you know. Next time you’re in the area, stop by. I’ll introduce you to some of the higher ups. You can start sucking up.

SCOOP: As much fun as that sounds, I’m pretty happy being invisible. The taste of corporate ass isn’t one of my favorites.

MAY: It’s an acquired taste. And unless you like eating Kraft Dinner for every meal, you’ll learn how to grease up the bosses. I’m sure the mail room doesn’t pay all that well.

SCOOP: It keeps the lights on and the water running. And it’s not all that hard. I stroll round the building, handing out envelopes. That’s the extent of my day. Speaking of which, what do you do on the third floor?

MAY: You deliver my mail. You deliver all of the mail. Can’t guess what I do in the advertising section of the building?

SCOOP: I dunno. Taxes? Cook? It’s a big floor.

MAY: I don’t think I’m going to tell you. A smart guy like yourself should be able to figure it out.

SCOOP: Why is everything a challenge with women? I asked what you do for a living. Now it’s a mystery.

MAY: Guys like a mystery. See ya around, new fish.

MAY exits stage right. SCOOP finishes his cigarettes, drops it in the trashcan, and sits silently. Lights fade once again, and come back up. MAY enters stage left, crosses to tree. SCOOP enters stage right, sits, and lights cigarette. MAY crosses and sits beside him.

MAY: So why do you come here every day?

SCOOP: I don’t know. Why do you stop here every day?

MAY: I always stop here. It’s part of my cardio workout. Run twenty, rest for five.

SCOOP: I guess you could say I come here for my cardio too. (Holds up cigarette)

MAY: Nice. I’m sure you hear it all the time, but that’s a disgusting habit. Please, explain to me why you find killing yourself comforting?

SCOOP: Honey, we’re all dying. I’m just taking it into my own hands.

MAY: That’s a terrible excuse. And makes no sense.

SCOOP: Have you ever heard a good excuse for smoking? Anyways, I come here because it’s quiet. Peaceful. You can’t find spots like this anymore.

MAY: What do you mean? There are parks all over the city.

SCOOP: I don’t mean parks in general. I mean places like this, lonely, unremembered spots, built but never used. Think about it. You come here every day. How many people do you see?

MAY: I never really thought about it. I’m usually in the zone. I guess…. Huh. I’ve never really seen anyone here. It is pretty out of the way though.

SCOOP: That’s what I mean. This bench was made to be sat on, and that tree was planted to make shade. But this path is in the middle of nowhere. Nobody uses this place.

MAY: Hm…. Nope, still don’t understand.

SCOOP: This whole place is like a memory, almost forgotten. Look. You see that statue by the water?

MAY: Yea, the lady in the toga. What about it?

SCOOP: That’s the Era Niveus. The Grey Lady. The Italian saint of missed opportunities.

MAY: I’m sure that’s symbolic somehow, but I was never great with artsy stuff like that.

SCOOP: It’s ok. Just enjoy the spot for what it is. Hey, where do you go after your jog?

MAY: I usually go home. I make supper, watch TV, and go to bed.

SCOOP: You make it sound so exciting.

MAY: It’s the middle of the week. What am I supposed to do, go on a road trip?

SCOOP: I like the way you think. But seriously, you’re free tonight?

MAY: Free might not be the best word. I have a tuna casserole begging me to cook it.

SCOOP: (Stands, flicks cigarette into trashcan) Fish keeps for ages. Shot in the dark here, but I saw a pretty good looking burger shack down by the marina. If your tuna can wait for a night, you think you’d be up to showing me around the city?

MAY: (Clearing her throat, standing) Uh, sorry new fish. You seem like a nice guy, but I work early. Like, really early.

SCOOP: Where’d you get that excuse, every rejection ever? Don’t worry. I’m well aware that I work in a mail room, and we met in a park. I know when a girl’s saying no, and when a girl’s saying no.

MAY: Oh, put a band aid on your ego. I seriously do have to work tomorrow. Some execs are flying in from Boston, and because of the time change, they’re getting here early. Instead of sleeping or getting breakfast like normal humans, they’ve decided to come right to the meeting.

SCOOP: What the hell kind of company do you work for?

MAY: The same company you do.

SCOOP: I don’t count. I deliver mail.

MAY: The company keeps your lights on and your water running. You work for them.

SCOOP: Well, I have a suggestion. You have a business meeting tomorrow morning. You and I work for the same company. It makes sense that you should practice by having a business meeting tonight, and I happen to know of a very professional looking burger shack down by the harbor.

MAY: And how am I showing you the town if you’re taking me to supper?

SCOOP: Well, you’ll know where to sit. I expect the best view, Madame.

MAY: I can’t. I told you. I have to work in the morning.

SCOOP: And that’s when the sun rises. So I’ll pick you up around eight?

MAY: That doesn’t make any sense. And I never said yes.

SCOOP: But you want to. And since you haven’t walked away yet, I know you’re going to say yes, and we’re going to have a great view of the ocean with some great food and it’ll be great. Is eight too early?

MAY: You’re overconfident, pushy, and you smoke. You work in the mail room and you dress like a hobo. Why would I want to go out with you?

SCOOP: Eight thirty?

MAY: Eight is fine, and if you’re late, I’m putting that tuna in the oven and going to bed an hour later.

MAY exits stage right.

SCOOP: (Yelling after her) There is nothing wrong with the way I dress!

SCOOP begins to walk off stage right but stops.

SCOOP: Shit, I never asked where she lives. May! Wait!

SCOOP exits stage right. Lights fade. A single light comes up, left of the bench. Stage is mostly dark. SCOOP and MAY stumble on stage right. They cross to the bench. MAY has a black dress on, SCOOP looks the same.

MAY: (Laughs) You’re still not making any sense. You have a problem with that, don’t you?

SCOOP: The world doesn’t make sense, honey. Why should I?

MAY: You’re also terrible at reasoning.

SCOOP: Reasons are just ways of ruining what is. Everything’s so much better a mystery.

MAY: Speaking of which, figure out what I do for a living yet?

SCOOP: I think I’m narrowing it down. So far, it’s a toss up between Burlesque dancer, pharmaceutical chemist, and professional sailor.

MAY: I hate sailing. I get seasick just from sushi.

SCOOP: So you’re a dancer then? That’s pretty hot.

MAY: Go to hell, new fish. I’m a third party advertising consultant.

SCOOP: What? Does that mean Burlesque dancer?

MAY: Bite me. I don’t work for the company, I work for an outside advertising firm. But I’m in the full time employ of the company, making sure that their ads don’t suck.

SCOOP: So when do you find the time to dance?

MAY: Sir, are you insulting me?

SCOOP: Not at all. I just think you have a great body, and you’d look amazing in a tight sailor outfit, shaking your hips.

MAY: (Laughs) You sure know how to talk to the ladies.

SCOOP lights up another cigarette.

MAY: Really? More cigarettes?

SCOOP: I’m not quite sure you understand the term addiction.

MAY: I understand that you’re inhaling cancer. And you seem to do it a lot.

SCOOP: I have no excuse, Madame.

MAY: Well you’re stupid. Jesus, it’s cold out here.

SCOOP: This is where I give you my jacket, right?

MAY: Depends on if you want this night to end with a kick in the balls, or on a slightly lighter note.

SCOOP takes his jacket off and hands it to MAY, who throws it over her shoulders.

MAY: It’s like a whole different place at night, isn’t it? It’s great during the day, but the city looks like a Christmas tree right now.

SCOOP: Like diamond studded darkness.

MAY: Wow, Scoop. Is there a poet beneath that grungy, tobacco stained beard of yours?

SCOOP: If you can describe it better, hit me with it. Otherwise we’ll use what I said.

MAY: Fine enough.

SCOOP: It is something though. But I have to get home. Taylor is waiting for me.

MAY: Taylor? You have a wife, and you go on a date with another woman? You’re scandalous, you know that?

SCOOP: Taylor’s not my wife. But I’m already late. I’ll see you at work, kiddo. Which should be in a few hours for you.

MAY looks at her watch.

MAY: Oh shit! Oh, god dammit! How long were we at that freaking place?

SCOOP: (Standing) Well, we were at the burger shack for an hour or two, then the sushi bar for an hour, then that weird night club with the neon lights everywhere, and god only knows how long we snuck around that corner store.

MAY: Damn. Damnit damnit damnit! I have to go. Bye Scoop.

MAY turns to leave. SCOOP grabs her arm and spins her around, kissing her. She breaks away after a moment, shakes her head and runs off right.

SCOOP: So.. Was that a yes kiss, or a no kiss? Shit, my jacket….

SCOOP starts to go off right, but stops.

SCOOP: Screw it.

SCOOP exits stage left. Lights go down They come back up, SCOOP is sitting on the bench smoking. TAYLOR is sitting down left, in front of the tree. He is playing with a toy T-Rex. MAY jogs on from left. She is dressed back in her initial outfit,, and carrying SCOOP’s jacket.

MAY: Hey, Scoop, you forgot your jacket last night.

SCOOP: You mean, you disappeared with it.

MAY: Close enough.

SCOOP: And? Did you get fired? Are the big bosses ready to snap your next? Did you walk into the meeting in a stunning-but-not-slutty dress, sushi on your breath and burger sauce on your lips?

MAY sits.

MAY: No. I got about an hour’s sleep before I had to get up again. I walked in half dead, but still gave them a decent speech. My job is safe, and the higher-ups think I’m trashy, but hey. C’est la vie.

SCOOP: I love Italian.

MAY: French, genius.

SCOOP: Same thing. I guess I should apologize for keeping you out so late.

MAY: Yes, you should. I almost lost my job. Although, last night wasn’t terrible. Those were good burgers, and the view from the patio was pretty nice.

SCOOP: No thanks to you. How long have you lived here?

MAY: A long time.

SCOOP: And you still had no idea where to sit for the best view.

MAY: Well, excuse me. I don’t make a habit of hanging around the docks.

SCOOP: Oh, come on, those guys on the corner weren’t really all that scary. The hair and muscles were probably all from steroids.

MAY: Those were girls.

SCOOP: Huh. Well then.

MAY: And the sushi bar was… Interesting. Mrs. Hong seemed nice. I’m pretty sure she was flirting with you though.

SCOOP: Oh baby. Eighty-year-old Chinese women. Now that’s my style. She kind of smelled funny…

MAY: She does work with dead fish. What do you expect?

SCOOP: I expected her not to smell like burnt hair and toilet cleaner. Is that too much to ask?

MAY: Well, she was kind of cute, in her own way.

SCOOP: No. You shut up. We don’t mention Mrs. Hong anymore. Look at this.

SCOOP takes a piece of paper from his pocket, and shows it to MAY.

MAY: (Laughs) Is that her home address? And her lipstick?

SCOOP: You laugh, but you’re not the one she’ll be waiting for with hot massage oil.

MAY: One would wonder why you kept it.

SCOOP: I figured I could slip it into someone’s mail at work. I know that pretty much everyone on the fifth floor would kill for a date, with anyone.

MAY: The fifth floor is tech maintenance. Those guys would kill for a look at anyone.

SCOOP: You know, some of those guys are kinda cute. You ever given them a chance?

MAY: Once. The date lasted about ten minutes. I left in the middle of a comparison between me, and the flame queen of Axar Eight.

SCOOP: Now that you mention it, I do see the resemblance.

MAY: Shut up new fish.

SCOOP is about to respond when TAYLOR gets up and approaches SCOOP. He is holding the broken arm of the T-Rex.

TAYLOR: Scott, April’s arm is broke.

SCOOP: Let me see, bud. Damn. It’s snapped off. What were you doing? Wrestling it? Kiddo, that’s not fair. This big old dinosaur has no chance against you. Tell ya what. I’ll hold onto the arm and you keep playing with April. When we get home, I’ll glue it back together. Ok?

TAYLOR: Ok Scott.

Taylor takes the dinosaur and brings it back to down left.

MAY: And who exactly, is that?

SCOOP: May, meet Taylor.

MAY: Holy shit. I thought Taylor was a girl. And I thought you were joking. You have a kid?

SCOOP: He’s not my kid. I’m taking care of him.

MAY: How noble of you.

SCOOP: Yea. I’m a real King Arthur.

MAY: That was a complement, you know.

SCOOP: I didn’t know you were aware those existed. Stop smoking, go to bed earlier, you dress badly.

MAY: It’s tough love.

SCOOP: Hey, I need a favour. I have a job interview next Monday. An internship at a psychiatrist’s practice.

MAY: Psychiatry? You?

SCOOP: I’m like an onion, honey. Layers and layers. Anyways, I don’t know many people in this city beside Mrs. Hong, and she scares me. I know this is asking a lot, but can you look after Taylor for a few hours?

MAY: What time? And what’s a few hours?

SCOOP: I’m supposed to pick him up from school after work, around four, and the interview should be done around seven. It’s pretty intense.

MAY: Four to seven… I… Guess… I’m kind of meeting someone that night, but I should be able to work around it. Yea, I’ll look after him. I’ll just bring him here. He seems pretty happy with his dinosaur. We’ll meet you here.

SCOOP: Oh, thank you! You’re a lifesaver. He’s fine at night, after I’ve put him to bed, but I don’t like him at the apartment by himself. Who knows? He might start smoking.

MAY: Just so you know, I’m going to brainwash him to throw out your cigarettes.

SCOOP: Good luck. I can’t even get him to make his bed. So who’re you seeing on Monday?

MAY: Um… Scoop, look, last night was great…

SCOOP: Ah. The inevitable but.

MAY: But I have a boyfriend.

SCOOP: Ouch. That’s a new one.

MAY: No, really, you’re a great guy, and I had a blast. But you’re not what I’m looking for. And I’ve been seeing Brad for a long time. We’re pretty close.

SCOOP: Brad? Alright. I guess I understand. Just so you know, it’s not really polite to go on a date with someone, when you have a steady boyfriend.

MAY: I know. And I’m sorry. You just seemed so… Spontaneous. I’ll still look after Taylor next week though. And I really did have a good time. I think we’d be great friends, new fish.

SCOOP: Yea, no, it’s ok. I get it. I wish you’d told me, but what can ya do? Anyways, the sun’s going down. I have to get Taylor home and fed. Elementary school requires a very fine diet.

MAY: Ok. I’ll see you tomorrow? Promise you’ll stop by my office?

SCOOP: I don’t make promises. But I’ll see what I can do. See ya around, May.

SCOOP retrieves TAYLOR, and they walk off stage left. MAY remains seated for a moment longer, then exits stage right. Lights up again, SCOOP enters stage left. He walks over to the bench and takes out a cigetreete, but does not sit. He looks up, sighs, puts the cigarette away and leaves stage left. A few moments later MAY comes on stage right and crosses to beneath the tree. She stops for a moment, looks around, and keeps jogging, exiting stage right. Lights down again. Lights up on MAY sitting on the bench. TAYLOR is playing with his T-Rex beneath the tree. The lighting is slightly dimmer, signifying sunset. MAY watches TAYLOR play with his toy for a while. SCOOP enters stage right, carrying a bottle and he looks quite drunk.

SCOOP: Hey, girly. How about a burger?

MAY: Oh Jesus Christ Scoop. Are you drunk?

SCOOP: Naw, honey. I’m high on life.

TAYLOR: Scotty? Are you ok?

MAY: Shit… Taylor, go play by the water. I need to talk to Scott.

TAYLOR: But…

MAY: Go. Now.

TAYLOR exits stage left. SCOOP stumbles over and takes a seat on the bench. He tries to fetch a cigarette but drops it.

SCOOP: Get that for me, will ya honey?

MAY: What the fuck are you doing?

SCOOP: Well, I was going to have a smoke, but we all know how you feel about that.

MAY: You’re drunk. Completely shitfaced. What the hell is going on?

SCOOP: Lady, life is too short to waste. I’m living for the weekend.

MAY: It’s Monday, and you’re supposed to be a job interview right now.

SCOOP: I’m too young for a real job. I’m still moving fast, breaking hearts and making love.

MAY: Did you even go?

SCOOP: Did I go? Well, I might have. Define, go.

MAY: Oh my god. You skipped your interview and got blasted, while I looked after your kid.

SCOOP: He’s not my kid, genius.

MAY: He’s as good as yours. Right now, you need to leave before he sees you like this.

SCOOP: And why is that? I’m really friendly this way! How about a kiss, pretty lady?

SCOOP moves towards MAY, but she gets up and moves to the other side of the trashcan.

MAY: You’re drunk. Stay away from me. Scott, that kid worships you. Do you want him to see you like this?

SCOOP: My name is Scoop. And what’s not to worship?

MAY: The part that’s drunk, works in a mail room, and missed out on an opportunity to actually move his life somewhere.

SCOOP: Well look at me, I’m Mrs. Fancy-pants-big-job. I make lots of money and get up early. I date guys like I date candy.

MAY: That doesn’t make sense. Is that what this is about? I said I was sorry. It was a nice date, but it was casual. I never promised you anything more than a night.

SCOOP: Didn’t seem casual when you grabbed me and kissed me.

MAY: Yea, that’s definitely how it happened. Scott, if you went out and got plastered because I don’t want to marry you, you have some growing up to do.

SCOOP: I’m not drunk. I’m just tipsy.

SCOOP attempts to stand up and face MAY, but falls back down on the bench.

MAY: Tipsy my ass.

SCOOP: I’ll tipsy your ass any day.

MAY: Great, now you can add perverted to the list of things I hate about you.

SCOOP: Well you’re fat.

MAY: I’m going to ignore that, in light of your condition. You need to leave now. I’ll bring Taylor back to your place later, once you’ve had a chance to clean up.

SCOOP: I don’t think I want to clean up. I’m going to stay here, and keep this park company. It’s lonely. We can be friends.

MAY: Get up. Parks can’t be lonely, and kids shouldn’t see the adults they live with carrying around a bottle of liquor, barely able to walk.

SCOOP: Why do you blow everything out of proportion? I’ve had a few drinks, and I’m feeling nice and warm. You worry too much, April.

MAY: My name is May. April is Taylor’s dinosaur.

SCOOP: May… April… Oh shit, I’m going to be sick.

SCOOP gets up and lurches to the garbage can. MAY turns her back and moves to the tree. SCOOP stands over the trash can, but does not puke or retch.

MAY: God. How the hell did I get stuck dealing with this? A burger, he said. A favour, he said.

SCOOP: (Still leaning over the trashcan) So, what’re you doing tonight? I saw a great art gallery on Saturday. It turns into a bar at night.

MAY: You have a kid to take care of, you’re drunk, and I’m in a relationship. Concentrate on getting yourself home. Forget about me for now.

SCOOP: April, I’m not going to forget you. You’re the leaves, playing in the wind on a cold morning.

MAY: My name is May.

MAY crosses to SCOOP, grabs him by the jacket, and straightens him up.

MAY: Listen up, Scott. I’m not dealing with this. I don’t know you, and I don’t want to. I’ll bring Taylor by later, because I’m a nice person, but after this, you’re not going to talk to me anymore. You’ve got some serious shit to sort out.

MAY shoves SCOOP towards stage right.

SCOOP: Hey, watch the jacket. This is real denim. Oh, let’s call Brad up. (SCOOP procures a cell phone. MAY feels her pocket, realizing that SCOOP has her phone.) Let’s see… Brad…

MAY: Give that back! Are you retarded?

SCOOP: (Dialing) Hello, Brad? This is Scoop. I’m here with May.

MAY tries to grab the phone from SCOOP, who easily holds her at bay.

SCOOP: Are you at work? Well, I’m sorry to disturb you. I just tought you’d want to know that your woman has a great ass, and she’s a great date. What? Yea, last Wednesday. She did? Well, I can guarantee that her mother was nowhere around. Not at the burger shack, not at the sushi bar, not at the park, not at the club, not on the…. Oh, she can’t talk right now. We’re a little wrapped up.

MAY: Scott, you give me that god damn phone right now, or you’re going to hurt in bad places.

SCOOP: Hey, Brad, buddy, I’ve got to go. May’s-

MAY knees SCOOP in the groin, causing him to fall over in pain. She picks up he phone.

MAY: Brad? I’m so sorry. Yea, he’s drunk. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about last week. No, my mother is still in Baltimore. No, we just… Who was that? Who are you shushing? Is that Nadine? This is your home number. Why is your secretary at your apartment? I thought it was over between you two.

SCOOP begins to laugh.

SCOOP: Give it to her, Brad, old buddy! Show her who’s boss! Wreck that little secretar-

MAY kicks SCOOP, producing a grunt.

MAY: I have to go. We’ll deal with this later. (Puts phone away) Get your act together, Scott. I’ll drop Taylor off at nine. (Moves to leave stage left) Taylor, honey, let’s go.

MAY exits stage left.

SCOOP: My name is Scoop!

SCOOP shakily pulls himself to his feet. He grabs the bottle of liquor, looks at it, and throws it in the trashcan. He stumbles off stage right. Lights down.. A single light comes up over the trashcan, the same night look from before. MAY is sitting on the bench, wearing the same black dress that she had on her date. SCOOP slowly enters from stage right, sober. He sits, not saying anything immediately.

MAY: (Without looking at SCOOP) How’s Taylor?

SCOOP: He’s good. Went to bed right away.

MAY: Good.

More silence.

SCOOP: I… Uh… I’m sorry.

MAY: I know. So am I.

SCOOP: I… I haven’t done that in a long time.

MAY: You make a habit of drinking and wandering around the city?

SCOOP: I used to. I told you, I’m an onion, honey. Layers and layers.

MAY: I’m beginning to see that. So tell me. Honestly. Who is Taylor?

SCOOP: Taylor is… A friend’s kid. She’s not around anymore.

MAY: Oh… And you volunteered to take care of him? Are you related to him?

SCOOP: It’s complicated. I’m not related to him, but I was pretty close to being his father for a while.

MAY: So this friend wasn’t so much a friend, as a… Wife?

SCOOP: I told you, I don’t make promises. Which marriage is. We were living together. There was an accident, and now I’m all the kid has left.

MAY: So you provide for him by getting shitfaced and acting like an asshole?

SCOOP: If I recall, I’m not the only asshole around. How’s Brad doing?

MAY: We’re done. He had a fling with his secretary last year. I forgave him. Tonight I got dressed up and went over to surprise him with a bunch of groceries. I was going to cook him a nice supper, watch some movies, and let one thing lead to another. But…

SCOOP: I love that word. It’s so evil.

MAY: I walked in to find her half naked on the counter, and him performing some very interesting cooking techniques. You don’t come back from something like that.

SCOOP: I’d expect not. Wow.

MAY: Well, it’s over now. I thought he’d been cheating for a while. I guess that’s part of the reason I went out with you.

SCOOP: I’m so glad I could be a tool in your love war.

MAY: Shut up Scoop. You know what I mean.

SCOOP: Nope. The way I see it, you used me. I know the girl’s supposed to be saying that, but I’m a very sensitive man.

MAY: I meant that I knew it was going to be over soon.

SCOOP: Ah, now that sounds better.

More silence. SCOOP Laughs.

MAY: What the hell are you laughing at?

SCOOP: Us.

MAY: Care to explain?

SCOOP: Look at us. Failures, alone on a bench.

MAY: I’m not a failure. I beat out half of my advertising team for my job.

SCOOP: Yet you can’t keep a boyfriend from sinking his balls into his secretary.

MAY: Thanks for that lovely description. I still don’t see myself as a failure.

SCOOP: That’s a good thing. Confidence is key. A diamond once told me that.

MAY: You’re doing it again. Not making sense.

SCOOP: Sometimes, things are more beautiful when they aren’t explained.

MAY: Sure. Whatever you say.

SCOOP: (Looking around) You know, I think this place found us.

MAY: What? What do you mean?

SCOOP: It’s lonely. We talked about that. In our own ways, the two of us are alone.

MAY: What?

SCOOP: I just moved to a new city. I’ve got Taylor, and that’s it. You just lost your boyfriend, and it sounds like he hasn’t really been around much lately.

MAY: How do you know I don’t have tons of friends?

SCOOP: Because I see you late at night, when I leave after cleaning the mail room. Stuck in front of your computer. Working.

MAY: Fine. I’m slightly lonely. Can we stop talking about this?

SCOOP: Sure.

MAY: You should really go back to that Psychiatry firm, you know. Taylor’s going to need an education someday.

SCOOP: Honey, I’m barely making it through the right now. Give me some time to think about the future.

MAY: And where is your right now? In a mail room, drinking alone?

SCOOP: My right now is comfortable. I take it day by day.

MAY: You need to tighten up. Get your life back on track.

SCOOP: Why are you giving me a lecture on how to live my life?

MAY: Fine. Have it your way.

SCOOP: I will. I live the way I do because I choose to, May. I’m happy where I am for the moment. I’ve got Taylor to look after, and I’ve got a steady job. And… I’m a little scared. It’s a big world out there. I don’t know if I’m ready to go back out yet.

MAY: Scott….

SCOOP: Scoop.

MAY: Scoop. Who… Who is April?

SCOOP: April… April was Taylor’s mother.

MAY: I’m sorry….

SCOOP: No. It needs to be said. April is Taylor’s mother, and she’s dead. She’s dead, and she’s not coming back. Wow. That was painful. Felt like I just spit up a roll of barbed wire.

MAY: How… How did she die?

SCOOP: The three of us were coming back from a party. I had too much to drink. I put Taylor in the hospital and April in the ground.

MAY: I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you talk about it.

SCOOP: Well, you did ask about it, so you could argue that you did want me to talk about it.

MAY: You know what I mean.

SCOOP: Yea. Yes I do.

More silence.

SCOOP: That’s why I moved here. To get away from it all. To start over. I took a shitty job, and I’m trying to just move on.

MAY: I understand. I’m sorry I told you your life sucked.

SCOOP: Stop telling me you’re sorry. I get it.

MAY: Ok.

Long pause.

SCOOP: I think… I think I’m ready for spring now.

MAY: That still doesn’t make any sense.

A short pause, and MAY places her hand on SCOOP’s. The two of them sit in silence, and the lights fade slowly.



END.