Thoughts of Love

*This message was inspired by close friends and my own personal experiences.



All of us have experienced that one relationship that we would like to have back or feel again, that one relationship that we just can't seem to overcome. For those of us that have not experienced this feeling I guarantee that we most likely will. Sometimes we will experience this feeling with more than one person and other times a new person replaces the feelings we had for a person of the past. The question is how do we get over this person? How do we move on with our lives that somehow managed to stand still? To overcome this we have to realize that having feelings like that toward someone is not a need for that person but simply a want. Those feelings don't mean that you were meant to be with this person. Just because things seemed to be perfect and just because everything seemed to fall into place and just because you connected with this person in every way, it does not mean you were meant to be together. It only means that you want this person; that you want back what you once had. It means that you want to feel what you once felt. Sometimes we have wants that over power our needs and sometimes we will do everything we possibly can to get what we want. But we can't always get what we want sometimes what we get is what we need. To have a successful relationship you have to meet most if not all of your needs. Needs include things like the need to love and the need to be loved, they include the need for security, the need to progress and not regress (meaning having someone who will build you up and keep you focused, not break you down and tear you apart), it includes the need to be understood and the need for a companion. Sure some of these points can be fulfilled by close friends or relatives, but what sets relationships apart from those arrangements is the fact that relationships require goals or plans that both partners can work to fulfill. Many times our relationships don't have goals or plans that we can both work toward. We just live our lives wanting (key word "wanting") to just be with this person. I cannot say why we don't have or do not share these goals, but I do feel it is either because we are young, still developing, still learning and or all of the above. For those reasons we often don't know or don't realize our goals preventing us from sharing them with someone else. I'm not saying that all people don't know or have trouble with realizing their goals. I'm just saying there are some of us who do. I also feel that with every failed relationship there is something you get out of it something you are able to take away. Failed relationships teach us things about ourselves and things about others. They show us how to be a better person, they show us how to be a better partner and finally they show us the things that bring relationships closer or the things that pull them apart. What you obtain from your failed or broke relationship depends on you. You are the only one that knows what you are thinking, what you are feeling and what you have learned. With each failed relationship that you have been through brings you one step closer to the one that will succeed. Sometimes we go through a relationship that fails and it tears us apart, it hurts us so much we have trouble thinking about anything else. These are the relationships that slow us down. They prevent us from seeing the bigger picture and they prevent us from acquiring nothing but a broken heart. We have to look at these relationships as a time of growth. All I can say is you have to keep pushing and keep moving away from what seemed to stop your life, from what seemed to stop your whole world. You will never succeed if you’re standing still, you will never know if you don't try, you cannot receive what you don't open yourself up to and finally a door without a window can not pass light. I can't tell you if this will completely help you get over someone, but I can tell you it gets better with time and every relationship you go through. I can also tell you that if you continue to do the things you enjoy and by keeping focused on yourself it would be a tremendous help to you getting your life back on track. Listening to music or reading can be a simple way to obtain happiness. Whatever you do you should know that there are things that can make your feels worse, things that can be a hazard to your health and still others could even have a long term effect on your life. Every now and again some of us experience negative thoughts and we need to take these negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. Negative thoughts only slow us down they keep us from succeeding. Some of us could possibly go through these negative thoughts and actions but we have to turn them away and shut them out. I strongly advise us to not take part any action that could be harmful to our person or any other; I wish us all the best of luck and for us all to make the best of decisions. Remember we have options and there is almost always a way out of every situation.



          May life take us to new places and give us all something extraordinary.                           

                                        Sincerely,                                 

                                            cj.heart