Fred the Fish

Fred the Fish

Fred is a fish.  He is quite big, very smooth, has scales all over his body and is recovering from a drinking problem he had in the late eighties which he doesn’t like to mention anymore. 
Fred lives in Pondle Town.  Well, all the creatures think it’s a town but between you and me, it’s a pond.
Bob is Fred’s mate.  Bob is a blow fish who lives on the reef and absolutely loves seaweed.  He‘s a chilled fish.
‘No worries, me got me honies’ Bob said indicating a pot of fresh honey he order online from ohbeehiveyourself.co.uk/pondlife
‘Nice honey Bob!’ Fred said, tasting his friends honey by spreading some on a nearby rock with his fin and licking it off.  It was indeed nice.
‘No worries, me got me honies’ slurred Bob.  Fred, worried that that’s all Bob ever says these days carried on licking.  He wondered how he could help his honey fuelled friend.
‘Bob, shall we go for lovely swim sometime?’ asked Fred.  ‘I’ve got vouchers for the local sports centre’.
‘No worries, me got me...’
‘Oh fine then’ Said Fred, dejected.
Suddenly, the bad evil fish of Pondle Town, Clive the Carp swooped down and stole Bob’s honey pot!  Fred gave chase, knowing that saving the honey would make Bob happy.  Swimming fast requires effort, so, Fred jumped into his Renault Clio (with go faster fins) and gave chase.  I know what you’re thinking , ‘that’s ridiculous!  Why would he get a Renault?!’
Anyway, what followed was a chase up through the water, and a debacle with Clive the carp.  Eventually Fred returned with Bob’s honey.
‘Sorry about him Bob!’ Said Fred
‘Cheers mate’ Said Bob. Fred smiled. The end.