An abbreviated version of one man, (fathers) journey through life. 2nd version. |
LIFE (From a Fathers point of view) Let me begin by saying that this is by no means a slur against Women or Mothers. I unequivocally take my hat off to women everywhere. I have always, and will to my dying day state that I think the role of being a housewife and mother is one of the hardest, if not thee hardest work that there is. Raising a family and keeping house is by no means a small feat. There are some women who do this and also work, so, for every man out there that comes home from work and says "I’m knackered," stop for a minute and consider what your wife has also been through; This, is simply my outlook on life, from a fathers point of view. Today is Tuesday the 15th March, in two days time I will be Sixty, I have travelled the journey of life and this is simply my version of it. There are probably plenty of men out there who will relate to this, but for what it is worth here is my version. For me the happiest day of any Fathers life, would have to be, the birth of each of his children. The first glimpse of one’s first child, changes every husband to a father, this change comes with a feeling of elation that puts you on cloud nine. No man or woman receives any training for their role as parent, you just know: Don’t ask me how, you just do. As for my childhood, it was good, it had it’s ups and downs. As for me, well, I was certainly no angel. I pushed my parents to the limit, and beyond. Something, that in later years I live to regret, but at the time is of little or no concern to you. Now, there are good parents and bad, and the same can be said for children, I do not of course have to say which category I fitted into. Buy thankfully my father had a strong will and did not back down, as time went on this of course, became (painfully) obvious. Something that at the time was misunderstood by me, but something that I am now thankful for, as it made me who I became. Something that I was never given the opportunity to say to my father, something that still pains me. As I grew older I of course was of the opinion that my father hated me, a misconception however, one that was to become untrue, as my father lay dying. I was raised at a time when belting children was acceptable, and boy did I receive plenty, or what, If you were mischievous then you were made to pay, and then some. Even the local policemen joined in, this was at a time when they still pounded the beat on foot. If they caught you, which, was more often than not, you would receive a clip round the ear, or a hefty boot in the backside, depending on the severity of your offence. But despite all of this, the world is yours, my father was a miner in a coalmine which we lived next to. (Greatest playground in the world) But as with everything in life you get older and things change. And as always, you were never aware of the lessons that your parents were teaching you until it is too late. You never appreciate what they went through, until you have children of your own. I will eternally be grateful to my parents for the sacrifices that were made in the name of parenthood. So, then comes the time for my transition from husband to father. Every father or almost every father earns the distinction of being the greatest father in the world. This distinction is bestowed upon him by his children, and is obviously well deserved. But the road to earning this distinction is a long and rocky one. I, like most fathers, have always and even today, put my wife and children first. People talk about sacrifices, when my children were young I too made sacrifices, but sometimes this was not enough. When you have to sit and watch your children suffer without the things that you are meant to provide, that is a pain that cannot be put into words. Then you find yourself left with the unthinkable, having to do things that you would never have considered before, all in the name of parenthood. When you do you don’t even give it a second thought, what your family is entitled to, they get, no matter at what cost; Then your children grow up, they fly the coup, this is a time of mixed emotions. They are going on the same journey that you took, you want them to do well, but along with their departure comes something else, emptiness. Then along come the grandchildren, the void is filled once again. You have raised your children to the best of your ability, you hope that you have done right by them. You look at your grandchildren, you try to pass on some of the knowledge that you have gained over the years. This is all good until they reach adolescence, (then they know better than you). Time goes on and you find that your ability to do things, slowly begins to be taken from you. Things that you took for granted, being slowly stripped from you. Life is a challenge, or at least that is how I have always looked on it. Things that I have achieved, obstacles that I have overcome, things that I am proud of and some that I am not, but were necessary. All of these things will amount to nothing as I pass, my children will remember, but all these achievements will pass with me, after all I am only a father. On top of that I now have become a used to man, I remember when I used to do that, or this etc. I cast my mind back to a time when I would listen to older men’s conversations, when they would say, “Yes, I used to do that.” Not realising how much that statement meant, or how much it hurt to say it, but now I do. Alas time only goes forward and not back: So you continue on, the journey is not over yet. You find things to occupy yourself, (trying desperately to avoid the shops). I go back to my writing meekly hoping along with thousands of others that I might have something to offer the world of storytelling. A world that is fiercely competitive, but one that is not impenetrable, one that you hope will not be taken from you, one that you hope you can succeed in, one that will make your journey, a journey that you can be proud of. There will be other versions out there, everyone has that one thing that they strive for, this is only my version. As I sit here, I have no regrets, I would do it all over again, I am proud of what I have overcome, along with the lessons gained in the name of parenthood, proud to be called Father, a distinction that I fought for, and earned, with blood sweat and tears. END STORYMAN1 |