Jasmine Vs the pea

Lightning crashed across the sky. The dark woods coming alive for a split second as thunder lit them up. Even the oldest tree’s trembled as the storm rumbled over head, the very ground reverberating from it. It was in this storm that Jasmine, who was have some serious second thoughts. about this idea, was huddled up trying to find some shelter that wasn’t in imminent danger of exploding. Quickly running, as fast as five inch platform heels would allow, she headed towards what she was hoping was the edge of the forest. As Jasmine rounded a corner in the forest she caught a sight of what looked like some kind of castle. Not for the first time that night she looked up at the sky and said. “Its about bloody time, its getting a bit hairy out here you know”.

A sudden loud clap of thunder shook the ground and lit up a huge gothic looking castle. “Well I have to admit. “ she said “when you pull it out the hat you do a good job.” Wrapping her now soaking wet leather coat tighter around herself Jasmine started to trudge her way towards what she hoped would be a safe place to ride out this storm.

In a life that had seen a great many images of gothic castles, and the huge doors that let you into them, Jasmine was not disappointed with these ones. Standing almost ten feet high with some astounding carving on them she made a mental note to ask if she could get some pictures of them next morning. Putting her small case down and moving her camera bag so it sat more comfortably on her shoulder she started to look around for some kind of door bell. Or at the very least a knocker. Taking hold of a huge cast iron ring she needed all her strength to move it at all. As it swung back onto the door there was a echo of a loud thud that filled what ever kind of room sat on the other side of the giant portal. Just as she was about to take hold and go for a second round the sound of large bolts being drawn back could be heard. Taking a step or two back Jasmine could see a crack of light start to appear along the middle of the two doors. Slowly it grew thicker and thicker as the door gradually started to open.

Pretty much every horror movie that Jasmine had seen in her youth had had a butler in it. All were normally very tall, had very little hair and had been very stiff. This one was the stereotype of the stereotype. Standing what had to be close to seven feet tall he looked down at Jasmine with a certain sense of disgust. “Yes?” his voice said with the sound of a hundred movie butlers.

“Ahh, I was wondering if I could stay the night? My car broke down. And its kind of nasty out there. I’ve got no mobile reception so I couldn’t ring for the tow truck to come out.” Jasmine said as she tried to find some kind of excuse to stay. After a long trip of photographing gothic architecture she hadn’t seen so splendid an example as this one for a long time.

“I’ll get her Majesty. She will wish to see you.”

“Umm OK.” She said. “I don’t want to be any kind of a problem. I’d be happy with a couch or something.” But by the time she had finished the tower sized butler had already gone. Taking a look around the hall Jasmine smiled. This place had it all, huge fire places, creepy looking portraits lined the walls and tall candle sticks. It was like someone had taken every gothic castle and rolled it all into one.

As Jasmine admired the hall room she suddenly jumped. A severe looking women was standing there looking intensely at her. As if she was expecting someone. “My butler tells me that you require lodging for the night.” She said in a voice as sweet as honey. But nor was it hiding the fact that there would be bees near by.

“Please, I’ve broken down and I need to place to dry out and phone for some help.” Jasmine was saying as she stared to unzip her leather coat. as it slipped open the woman’s eyes was fixed to Jasmines chest. Just as she was starting to feel more then a little uncomfortable she looked down at it herself. Despite Jasmines rock chick look she was still a girly girl at heart. The hot pink top she had on had the words ‘Princess Power’ emblazoned across it. All through Jasmines life she had wanted to be a princess. The kind in a lovely pink dress that got swept off her feet by Prince Charming. But life, as it at times could, disappointed.

“So my dear” the woman said. “you’re a Princess are you?”

Wondering for a second or two if she was potty Jasmine smiled and nodded. “I guess so. But to be honest I’m mostly interested in this castle.” Jasmine let the words hang in the air. Hoping for some kind of information on it.

Turning to her butler the woman clapped her hands. “Jeaves. The Princess room if you please. Our guest should have the best.” As the woman spoke Jasmine could see just a few feet behind her a young man. He looked about the same age as Jasmine. Slender features gave him a delicate, smouldering look. Just as Jasmine was about her open her mouth the butler reached down and picked up her little case as if it wasn’t there and started to walk off into the castle.

“Umm I ahh…” Jasmine was at a loss for words as she quickly tried to follow him. Each corridor looked the same, all with near identical painting hanging from the wall. Suddenly she stopped and almost shouted.

“Wooooh there big boy, Just where are we going?”

“The Princess room Princess.”

“I’m Jasmine, Jasmine Hunter. OK, You don’t need to call me Princess.”

“Yes Princess Jasmine.” he rumbled as he started to move off again. Jasmine cursed under her breath and once again set off to follow Jeaves before she got hopelessly lost in this place.

When they finally reached the room Jeaves put down the case and opened the door wide. Looking inside Jasmine was quickly wondering if this was some kind of joke. All she could see was mattresses. A tower of them reached almost to the ceiling of room. “I thought I was meant to be in the Princess room? Not the mattress store.”

A worrying smile stretched across his face. “This is the Princess room Princess Jasmine. Is there anything you require?” he said as he started to lumber away not really giving Jasmine time to answer.

As she stood looking at the monstrous pile of mattresses she yelled down the corridor. “Yeah, some kind of ladder would be helpful..” Sighing deeply Jasmine headed into the room and started to get undressed. As she turned her back she didn’t see that the eyes of one of the pictures on the wall moved ever so slightly.

Hugo carried a tray of breakfast for the beauty that he had briefly seen last night. She must be hungry by now. Gently tapping on her door he suddenly heard a soft cry and the sound of young woman hitting the floor from some height. The door was quickly opened by a rather dishevelled looking girl. Screwing up her eyes at the early morning sunlight.

“Good morning Jasmine. I brought you some breakfast. Did you sleep well.” He asked with a deeply hopeful look on his face.

Gratefully taking the food Jasmine shook her head. “I don’t think I have ever slept a worse night in my life. I could feel this lump in the bed. Which is kind of annoying as I was on so many mattresses my nose was a foot from the ceiling.”

The look of hope on his face had gone from hopeful to delighted. “That’s wonderful news. Wonderful I knew you were the one.” he said as he bolted off. Watching him run off down the corridor, her mouth full of toast Jasmine looked if anything even more confused.

As Jeaves lead her into a spacious dining room Jasmine looked around. Taking in the long table, groaning under the weight of silver serving dishes. Standing to attention Jeaves spoke. “Your Majesty, may I present Her highness Princess Jasmine Hunter.” For some reason Jasmine actually curtseyed.

“Congratulations my dear. Only a true Princess has skin so soft she could feel a single pea under so much padding.” The Queen said.

Sitting close by to the Queen Jasmine could see Hugo, who was grinning so much that it looked like his head was going to split in half. “I knew she was a real Princess, I knew it.. She even has a birthmark that looks like a crown on her bottom.”

Hugo was grinning so much that he didn’t see Jasmine’s fist flying towards his face.




No animals were harmed in the making of this story but Hugo did get a black eye.