Is it so much to ask

Interesting when you are a little girl dreaming big things about the knight that will rescue you from the cold, stone tower and fight off dragons and face the most vile of people just to see you safe. Once the victory has been won, you casually stroll along a hard beaten path that leads you to the gorgeous city where you live with your family. Everyone anxiously awaits your arrival and a festival spreads quickly thru out the land and even after it's all said and done, you live happily ever after with hardships being nothing but a distant, practically non existant thing of the past.

I'm much older than a young naive child, yet my heart still longs for such a fantasy. I feel like I have my knight, but the victory over opposing circumstances still has yet to be won. I do not seek perfection, just peace within the 'kingdom' I occupy right now where Im sitting. I have much to be thankful for, I just long for my knight to be home with me each day, yet I trade him for the necessities of life to be taken care of. Why does it have to be that I'm still lonesome in the tower, waiting on his arrival week in and week out? I relive the solitude everyday. I want to have the little things that many think is trivial. Drinking coffee with him, looking in his eyes, the sound of his laughter, the security in his embrace. I feel like he dies every week when he travels because I'm left with the exact way the sheets lie from when he got out of bed that morning or the faint smell of the cologne he sprayed after he got ready, and seeing where he left his shoes and never put them away like he said he was going to do. I'm left with an empty shell of where he used to be and I mourn him each week. I want to have him home with me and my children. I miss all of my family life. My children long for their father home and it's more than we all want to carry. So yes my circumstances have changed, but my silent aspirations from when I was a innocent little girl still believing that fairy tales were real, has simply remained the same.