Ups and Downs

A little blue pill, round with a slight oval shape. The biggest love hate relationship I have with an inanimate object. Although an inanimate object, it has the ability to change me. Change me for the better. I’m awake, alert to my surroundings. Ready for what ever is ahead of me. Ready to take on the challenges in my course work and classes. Change me for the worst. I become silent, more observant to those around me. Lost in the thoughts that make my head spin around and around. Hunger doesn’t exist. The foul taste in my mouth lingers as I speak. I feel down for possibly no reason at all. One more pill. My ability to focus comes back. My leg doesn’t shake quite as much. I read intensely with a purpose. The downfall returns with vengeance. I feel disconnected from the world. Sleep is impossible. My head pounds, like a constant scream that is lashing out at that little blue pill.