Blindsided

Blindsided

I knew by the look on her face that if I took one more step, there was no going back, but true love could not be stopped. Her strong German physique was nothing to mess with. This mother of eight looked upon me with so much panic-driven desperation that the rosiness of her cheeks blossomed crimson, instantly, like thorny roses. I honestly believed that there was some part in her that day that meant to kill me, or at least knock enough sense into me before I made the biggest mistake of my life.

She was right. I barely knew this guy. Up until now my life had been completely planned out. College just around the corner, marriage plans to my high school sweetheart, and playing my flute were all I had time for. My life was full-speed ahead, and I had no intention of slowing down or changing direction. But just when you think things are perfect, BAM! You're blindsided. Life has a funny way of turning you around when you least expect it.

The most disruption of my well-oiled life was to have to entertain my older sister and sometimes forced to hang at places I really had no business being in. In some areas in the 80's, kids who were 18 were allowed to drink beer in nightclubs if it served 3.2 alcohol instead of 6.0. I was uncomfortable going to these nightclubs with my older sister because I was only 17. Upon arrival at the club, my sister would go in first with her I.D. and get her hand stamped. Then she would make some excuse to go to her car where she would then give me her I.D. Even though I thought we looked nothing alike, as I am fair-skinned with straight hair, and she is dark-skinned with curly hair, I would never have any problem getting in. Somehow my parents believed, as long as I was with her and we were together, we were completely safe. Honestly, 3.2 establishments were pointless, as it would just take twice as much alcohol to end up with the same result. This night was going to be different. This night would prove to be life changing. There, by some force from the universe, I met a young man who was beautiful, independent, and funny. I specifically remember the second he walked in. I happened to have been looking in that direction when I caught my first glance. Right away I told my sister, "I want to dance with that guy!" The attraction was instant and intense for both of us. Even though a few months passed before we became more connected, I somehow could not stop thinking about him and couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing something. It seemed I had no choice at the time, but found myself caught in a current that was picking up speed and heading straight for a fork in the river.

It seems that from an early age we are presented with choices and are guided to choose and choose wisely. As you grow, these choices may seem more involved and daunting. I had crossed a line with my parents that could not be retraced. I had also crossed a line in that I put my trust and care in someone whom I barely knew. My feelings were deep and strong and were not going to be stopped, even to the extreme of disappointing my mother, whom I love dearly. It was as if I were a baby bird who had abruptly fallen from the nest and had no way to climb back in, so therefore forced to move forward and try to survive. I cannot blame her for the natural instinct of a mother to hold tight and try whatever means possible to protect her young. My mother was sure I was heading down the wrong path by showing interest in this guy. Stop seeing him or get out; go with him or lose him; these were the choices suddenly I was going to have to make. Even without the blessings of my parents, I made the choice to go with him and sever my ties with the only home I knew until now.

This day was like any another day, and I had a casual ride to Denver planned. As it turned out though, this day was the day I would have to make one of the most important decisions of my life. My mother was in no mood to deal with unnecessary interruptions in my schedule. I, on the other hand, had every intention of going to Denver. As he approached the front door, he was unaware of the rising argument between me and my mother. She absolutely forbade me to go and blocked my way to the door. She answered the door and told him straight up, "You can just turn yourself around and leave. She is not going anywhere with you!" Not quite knowing what was going on, he simply said, "Yes ma'am," and turned to leave. Out of the corner of their eyes they saw me jumping over the fence. I ran very quickly as I was in fear of my life. I was not going to let her get a hold of me. I saw his van parked in front of my parent's house and ran towards it, jumped in quickly, and locked the doors. The young man, my future husband, stood dumbfounded as my mother exited the home with a fury that would scare any living creature to instant paralysis. How dare this blond, tan, thin-framed young man try to come into the life of her 17-year-old daughter? Her plans to marry her high school sweetheart and go to college were the only things that mattered here. As she yelled toward me to no reply, he, as graceful and apologetic as possible, backed away and got in the van. "She is your responsibility now, you take care of her!" said my mother. He did not know at the time that what she said was in fact a prophecy of the future.

Almost three decades later, I am thankful everyday for the rash decision of running off with my soul mate, my life partner. As an adult raising my own daughters, I cannot help but be a hypocrite as to what I expect of them. As they become young women, we are very busy planning and molding their futures. Am I so foolish as to believe I have some sort of control over what happens in their world? I have to be honest, I do. I somehow hope there is a little more of a connection than with my mother in my generation. I hope that we have a little more of an understanding of each other. I tell myself this, even knowing that the power of true love can indeed move mountains. Lord help me when my beautiful, cherished daughters find their true love.