Daddy's No Nanny!

It's what I come home to after working all day and staying after until 6pm.  It's what I get when Aaron watches, wait, "watches" AJ while he works because Grandma can't get her schedule in check.  It's proof AJ had a busy, productive day.  It's a visual of all that he did.  It's a visual of all that Daddy did not.  It is the Daddy Disaster; it is what I came home to today.



First of all, Daddy himself is part of the disaster.  He looks like he's been run over by a smiling, plastic Cozy Coupe and then had his fingers smashed in our garlic peel (AJ  loves to play with the garlic peel).  He immediately asks, "What took you so long??"  I could be at the door at 3:16pm and he'd still be asking if I got a flat or what?  Daddy's majorly defeated.  He's lost the war of the house.  He can't win!  He has to work, so AJ has the ability to pillage and destroy to his little heart's content.  Aaron tries!  He sets up an extra monitor and hauls over his comfy couch chair.  Then he brings out the BIG GUNS.  He puts on You Tube.  He plays Rafi- "Baby Baluga", and he plays "The Chicken Dance" over and over.  These are like gold, but they only last for so long.  That shine wears off life Grandma's tarnished tea set in about 15 minutes.  Then, it's trouble.



Books come flying from the shelves as if being thrown by poltergeists.  "Would you like to read one?"  Daddy might ask?  "No," the monster will reply calmly. I decide to ask him if he wants to hear a story.  "No More Pacifier for Piggy?  Hey,  what is that?  Ew!  Dog pee on your book!!"  AJ screams with glee, "Pee bookies!"  He then grabs at his diaper.  "No!  Not you!"  Geez!

Couch cushions?  Ha ha ha!  They are for throwing!  OUTSIDE!

Hot wheels sit around the room just waiting to take someone for a quick ride and slide.

Every dog toy we own is out and strewn around, a few in every room.  None are chewed, but quite a few of AJ's new toys are.  "EEEEEWWWWW!  Doggie eat it!"  I look at the Little People sadly, "I see!  Poor baby!"  So, AJ bends down and asks Charlotte to eat the other intact baby foot.  Way to even it out.



I settle it, begin to organize.  "Outside Momma?"  AJ asks hanging on the glass door with his big begging blue eyes.  What the heck.  Outside is no better.  I find 3 bags of electronics parts and plugs, and some other things hoarded from Daddy's desk and hidden in his outdoor stash.  In his playhouse, a Mc Donalds tornado has obviously hit, since plastic burger, fries, apple pies, nuggets, salads, pickles, boxes, cups, pots and pans cover the floor.  So, like any normal mom (you know this is a joke I hope!), I take every toy out, wash it in lukewarm soapy water with a bit of bleach rinse and let them air dry.  I scrub the floor after a good vacuum.  We lay down a blanket for carpet and reset his restaurant. 



Daddy disasters don't happen to Mommy.  So he sneaks the plunger while I'm in the shower?  Alright, AND the toilet brush.  I TELL him NO!  It's funny how that works.  Give a two year old a wee bit of time, and they will never, ever, EVER waste it.  You just have to be able to clean just a a little faster and get ahead of their game!  Which is why Daddy lost the war today:(  Snap to it Dad!  Next time, you are cleaning your disaster!  I'll be in back at Mc D's.