SOURING SWEETNESS: ROSHAGULLAH

                                        ROSHAGULLAH





Sign board just read kolkatta 113 km and our speedy sumo kept racing on unending highway. From one board to another, color kept changing rest everything remained same; periodic bumps , humid atmosphere and drivers silence..! sometimes it is hard to believe that India has progressed bcoz nothing much has changed here, probably the demon of revolution had decided to by pass this area.

We , 9 young professional were on our way back from an adventurous trip to the beaches of digha. 8 of them were almost on the verge of reaching salvation in their sleep. All were exhausted but yet I was trying to stay awake bcoz others had entrusted me with their lives…..any thing could have happened! Road accidents were most common in this part of world. It was really boring to keep a constant vigil on drivers state and more over staying awake when there is nothing to do. I started playing with my mobile to end boredoms domain but it went in vain. A strong stimulant was all I needed at that point of time and with numbness

“cigarettes” I said to my  self.

I am not a smoker but ocassionaly once in a blue moon it was ok for me. Mind processed the thought quickly and within no time I was searching for cigarette packet on dash board. Unlucky me just got a match box. I did not want  to wake anyone  because I feared violent reaction from them if disturbed in midway of their rest. But the urge of cigarette grew stronger and stronger with the argument in me and left no choice but to ask karthik for a cigarette !

I looked at his dull face and disturbing his little pleasure I woke him.

“ karthik “ “ can I have a cigarette yaar?”. Looks exchanged and without saying a single word more he handed me over the cigarette packet. My expectation of bitter words shattered and I realized that sometimes it is just more than better not to expect things at first go. It was dark outside, nothing except blazing flashes of passing by vehicles distracted my attention. Lighting up a cigarette I asked driver:

“upneder , how far are we know?” and filled his face with clouds of smoke.

“ Still 90 kms to go”. Before I could ask anything he requested me for a cigarette.

“dumbo” , “ I should have asked him before lighting up mine?” I grumbled within. May be it was my boredom which has almost sidelined the smokers courtesy of offering  cigarette! But his request had given me a chance to make up for the faux pause I committed a few moments ago.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                “ you smoke too?” hiding the fact that I was already aware of it.

“ sir , sometimes! Maximum because of my work” “ it keeps  you awake”he added.

“ do you know that it causes cancer?” foolishly I asked.

“ yes sir ! may be I will have cancer someday if I continued smoking but if I don’t smoke today I may bump my car into someone , somewhere.” I was taken aback at this logical reason. May be it was someone inside me who just went out to find why people smoke if they know it is bad?

Anguished in my mind, lost in reasons , rushing towards our to be place I got an uneasy feeling. And this feeling just lead my way to establish the truth of very life: life is too short to repent, to cry or to justify your actions. So one should enjoy every damn moment and every damn thing this world has to offer. His answer has started a rational unrest in my mind and thoughts of life and death occupied  me and I dint even come to know when we finished puffimg our cigarettes and the silence prevailed again.

“upender”” whats kolkatta famous for?”  he was startled. ”I mean what special do you have here?”  Without looking at me he replied in an uncaring attitude, kolkatta  is known for howrah bridge, sea , jute factories, Victoria memorial and…….. he paused. “ and what ?”

I asked relentlessly. And for roshagullah! “  Roshagullah drenched in sweetness and dipped in sugar chasni!. “ Roshagullah!” , though I was aware of the great ness of Bengali sweets but yet I decided to remain silent to keep the conversation going.

“ yes sir! ” the city claims to be the founder place of roshagullah!

“ how it is?” I asked .

“ very very tasty sir!” , he replied with a glitter of achievement in his eyes! We take so much pride in relating ourselves with a greatness and we all enjoy it, when ever we get a chance though we know that we know nothing about it. But yet it was for me to understand not for him . and as an inquisitive researcher I asked him again. “ what else?”

“ sonagachi!” I wished he shouldnot have said that.

“ what? “ my heart tumbled. Because  I was aware of the fact that it is india’s biggest and red light area. But I did not want him to sense my share of fantasies about that place. Though I resisted a lot but may be the expression on my face were not justifying my words. And before I could have overcomed the disaster caused by his reply. He spoke again-“ if you wish we can pass through that place?”

“ what do you mean?” firmly I questioned and registered my obligation infront of him.

“ sir jee ! girls will be standing on the streets ! ( I could sense a devil in his eyes and lust in his voice) have a look? He seemed like a pimp to me at that moment but his words had sent my desires on tangents of fantasies. Ignorance would have been bliss at that time but man is so prone to desires of undesirable! Mind was divided between approval or denial of his proposal.. decision at such point of time are generally biased because of urge created by desires butt  still I prevented myself from approving this plan, though one part of me eagerly wanted this opportunity to approve it at any cost! The advisory words said to us before we left native place started revolving in my head. The question of morality aroused like a dragon and was standing in front of me. but yet one thing was sure that enthusiasm of visiting such place was growing stronger and stronger with in! Slowly and slowly I was running out of logical and moral reasons to justify the denial. With fantasies in my mind and fear in heart I asked:  “Is it on the way to our place?”

“yeah ! about ten kms from here!” he replied with a cunning smile! The pretention of being moral was almost over by now. I approved the proposal with directives; “ don’t stop there” ,” just keep driving and telling .”

He nodded in approval of the directives. The car turned onto smaller  and smaller roads and finally we were zooming between buildings; a bit old fashioned but yet spectacular.

Taking a sharp turn onto a dark road he said: we are about to enter sonagachi.

Hopes were on all time high. I looked inside once gain , all my mates  tired of boring roads were tumbled over each other ;sleeping and snoring. Detaching my self from this filthy view I looked outside with hope to see some chiks!

but unlucky me…! it had started raining very heavily outside! With thousands of question in my eyes I looked at Upender. And with no mistakes he understood what my questions were. “ sir jee !”  “ in this rain no body will be outside!” his answer dampened my heart. And suddenly morality took over the throne of thoughts, snatching it away from desire. And heart was full of guilt. “It is good that it is raining here otherwise you would have kneeled down before the demon of worldly pleasures.  Self conscience was evident and I sacked in my seat. I had thought that this pass by would be a memorable event but it was turning out to be an extra mile run when fatigued.!

Heavy rains restricted our visbility and upender slowed down to 30 kmph. “Bump”, “ Bump”, “ Bump” car just ran over a speed breaker and everybody  woke up. Till now I could not see any one on street but as we turned into an another smaller road human figures appeared through the flowing water on our windscreen and I said to my self “ devil’s  timing is so perfect!” !Upender looked back through rear view mirror and announced: “ sir ji , look outside we are amidst of sonagchi”  “ what ?” (in astonishment like hungry dogs ) Everyone got glued on to windows and stared scanning streets like conical beams of radar.! It was no surprise for me. I knew it that would happen if they would wake up. Finally boys had their divine wish granted. They had opened their windows inspite of rains and started commenting and staring

Karthik: “ Item hai yaar!”

Umang: “Maal lag rahi hai !”

Pankaj:  “ patakha thi patakha!”

Abhi : “ iskey boobs to dekh!”

But it wasnt going to stop at this, their bitchy words about the girls and their raw explanation of their fantasies about them made me feel very weird. The taste of my decision was becoming sour and sour with each comment! I was disturbed … it was not good…. I was feeling sick of being with them. Their comments were piercing my brain

. “ shit”, “  morality is a curse for oppurtunists” now it was evident to me.

Just wanted to end for what I have paved the path. I looked at my watch it was 0130 hrs. The car stopped at a signal, comments grew more and more wilder and unexplainable. Ears had gone deaf of their comments.  Lost in anguish of my own guilt I looked outside,

just a few steps away there stood a girl;

probably 16 to 18,

beautiful ;

Dressed up all in white kurta salwar,

Drenched from top to bottom in rain,

Dipped in overflowing sewage water

Just like a roshagullah!















By :_

Shray