100% Cotton Hero

Panties, panties, hide my parts,
from all the things that might break my heart.
If they ever come this way,
take their heads off that very day!

Jeans, oh, jeans, do stay strong,
to protect my panties from right and wrong.
Guide it along the good road
so that it may do what it's told.

Legs, my legs, you must stay close,
to keep away the monsters that linger close.
Fight together and I'm sure you will,
keep the monsters below your heels.

Zipper, zipper, let it be,
cause if it ever comes to me,
I'll say, go and flex,
but til i'm married i won't have sex.