Big Booty Judy

         I’ve never made much money,but then again, I never really had issues with money. So when I complained to my internet friend Judy about how my cell phone bill was exceeding 500 dollars, I said so to convey my reasons for being in such a foul mood, but since she offered to pay it without any provocation, who was I to turn her down? From the Facebook pictures I saw, Judy had one of the prettiest faces ever placed upon a woman. Her dimples gave her a look of innocence that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Judy and I would occasionally have phone sex, her southern accent would seep through my cell phone speakers and fill my mind with images of sexual acts to hot for an oven door. From what I could tell from speaking on the phone with Judy she was a complete down for anything freak. My kind of girl. All Judy asked for in return was that I would take a trip up to Baltimore to spend some quality time with her. I agreed, it was only fair, she was paying my phone bill for me.
         Besides, what kind of man would I be turning down easy sex? Especially since Judy has the looks of a model, shoulder length blondish hair, dimples and lips could comfortably wrap around Tootsie Pop ( and some other things as well). Just the thought of what was to come made me log in to my Facebook to browse through her pictures again. That’s when I noticed that Judy had 53 pictures of herself; taken from every possible angle, but there were no full body pictures of her. I couldn’t think of a good reason why someone so attractive wouldn’t post one full body bathroom mirror picture of herself. The one where the diamond colored flash from her cell phone would make a quarter of her perfect frame invisible, in other words, making me lust for that missing quarter even more. But the usual bathroom picture wasn’t there. All I could find were pictures that highlighted the color of her eyes or the shape of her face.
         My newest discovery did not deter me from heading towards Baltimore though. I brought round trip ticket and bussed my way to Maryland’s pride and joy. The whole ride all I could do was picture myself bending Judy’s slender body in angles that a protractor could never measure, and the clap sound that’ll be heard as I push myself inside of her.
         I arrived in Baltimore city with the biggest smile on my face. The sun was waiting for the moon to relieve it of its duties, the sky changed in color from bubble gum to deep grape, and suddenly I felt like I was 16 again when school lets out for summer vacation. Gin wine’s “Pony” was constant rotation in my mind, I waited an hour longer than I had to for Judy. She was late and the thought that maybe I just got stood up started to creep into my thought process. A black Lexis turns the corner and stops near the bus stop. It opens and out steps a very thick female. Not thick like molasses but thick like the lumberjack that pours molasses on his pancakes before he devours them.
         This girl was big, and there was no way that this was the person who I was supposed to be hooking up with. But sure enough as she approached me the resemblance between her and the girl I chat with on Facebook was undeniable. At least Facebook did not lie. The girl had a face that could be on any magazine cover in America…. She just really lacked the build.
         Judy wasted no time, despite being late of course. She quickly made the decision for us to drive back to her place. I tried to get her to stop at a fast food place so I could get something to eat, but she quickly dispatched that plan. Stating that fast food is very unhealthy and that she could make me something “organic” once we got to her spot. Judy talked the entire drive, only pausing to catch her breath. If a fish that was stuck on land made sounds while it desperately attempted to breathe, it would sound like Judy catching her breath. One of the stories I actually paid attention to was actually funny. It was about how she got the nickname “Big Booty Judy.” Apparently Judy was part of a dance team in college. While dancing on stage with her group she attempted to “drop it like its hot” like the video vixens on BET and her pants ripped for the entire school to see. Afterwards one of her group members remarked that Judy had to much booty for the jeans she was wearing. From then on Big Booty Judy was born.
         Overall, Judy was a great person with an amazing looking face. However, I was not digging her figure. I was turned off at how her belly pressed against the steering wheel and every time she laughed I pictured someone tickling the Pillsbury Doughboy. But despite me not being attracted to her I had to go through with tonight. Though I wanted to jump out the moving car so badly, I couldn’t. Some unknown force kept me from unbuckling the seatbelt and jumping into the night air. The truth is I felt that I owed her. She paid my ridiculous phone bill so the least I could do was give her that good vitamin D.
         Judy’s house was one of the biggest on her street. She lived on the outskirts of Baltimore city in a semi suburban neighborhood. The house had two floors and four bedrooms, and rightfully so the biggest bedroom was hers. I eyed a mini bar when I first entered and asked Judy if she’d like to drink with me. She obliged me and brought up a bottle of Patron. I quickly knocked down back to back shots there was no way I could be sober and do what I was about to do. After each shot I said to myself, “ Just fuck and chuck.”
Big Booty Judy owned up to her name. She had an ass like an elephant. I put all my strength into each thrust as I tried to make her head bang against headboard. All I could see in front of me were two milk colored cheeks moving like Jell-O. I pulled out and received quite possibly the best dome I ever received. I’m still questioning if it was Big Booty Judy or the new Trojan Ecstasy condoms that I purchased for this very reason. As our late night freak session continued I begun to think that maybe I could used to this. A few hours ago I was afraid to be seen in the same car as Judy, but the way she put it on me had me considering relations. Big Booty Judy had me sold that fat sex was the best!
         When we finished I laid in bed and puffed on a blunt. I noticed Judy scurrying back and forth collecting my clothes and then dropping them at the foot of the bed. She then grabbed my wallet from my pants pocket and stuffed a wad full of cash inside. Judy then said, “ Well I’d hate to fuck and run but I have work in the morning. Here’s the money for your phone bill… can you find the way out?” She turned went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Soon after I could hear the rushing sound of water running from a showerhead. A feeling that must be similar to what the sky must feel before rain clouds replace sunshine suddenly came about me. “Did I just get played by a fat chick?” I said audibly.
         The sun light begun to creep through the window as if it was the answer to my question. “Damn.” was the only words I could utter.