Things I've thought about at the movies |
Why am I watching this movie for $10.50, when I can wait a month and rent it for $1.00 at RED BOX? Oh, look another cute couple making out in the back of the theater. I think that old man just peed in his diaper. And a spunky kid is kicking the back of my seat. Should I turn around and give him a good hard look? Nope, he'll probably shoot me. Okay, Thor's bare chest is making me feel gay. This is odd, because I had the biggest crush on Natalie Portman, when she made that movie the Professional. Everyone, is laughing as Thor's run over twice.... I think the moral of this movie is hero worship is fun and it's funny to see the hero get shit faced. Natalie Portman has a crooked smile. How does she do that? This is terrible, but I can't remember any of her lines. Did she talk? The kid with the flashlight walked by again. Why? Here's your flashlight walk around the theater and ... stand in the hallway. Is that a job? Loki is complex. I think he really wants to be loved, but he likes killing people. It's a win win. Nordic lore is all about killing and stealing so Loki is a typical Viking God. Thor just wants to kill for glory and ... .. Natalie Portman's crooked smile. .. Odin is looking for a nice soft bed. Odin is king of the Gods, but he's old and has one eye.. I thought God's were immortal and physically perfect. This is most peculiar. What if Thor had a baby with Natalie Portman? Nope, Superman's done it... A film needs to be original and exciting and have a happy ending.. I just can't watch a long sad story about an old one eyed God, looking for a soft bed. Anthony Hopkins looks tired. Is he getting enough rest? Maybe I should take a nap, while I wait for the preview after the credits. Geeze, how many people mooched off this flick? zzzzzzzzz Oh? Samuel Jackson? And he has an eye patch too. Coincidence? I'm seeing a pattern here. Now, the shuffle out. This would be a good time for flashlight boy to guide the foot traffic. All I need is to get crushed by a shuffling mob. Great! Loud people walking directly behind me. I'll stop and let them pass. Great and there's a mob of loud people blocking the exit. Oh, flashlight boy? Excuses meeeeeee! Where is my truck? The parking lot lights are off. God dam energy crisis! $10.50 for this? I hope my seat didn't have bed bugs! Should have waited for Red Box. (-)(-) x |