The Right Thing

"Excuse me, sir, could you be so kind as to spare some change for a man down on his luck?"
"You're not going to spend it on booze are you?"
"No sir, I promise. I just need some food. I haven't eaten in three days. I lost my job due to cutbacks, you know? The economy made me homeless and poor, not an alcoholic."
"Well, I guess, you do look a bit undernourished and you don't appear to be intoxicated. Here's a twenty. I hope you really are going to spend this on food."
"Thank you, kind sir, your generosity is only exceeded by your good looks!"
"Don't push your luck, buddy."
"Goodbye!"

"Excuse me, ma'am. Could you spare some change for a man down on his luck?"
"Get away from me, you filthy hobo!"
"Yes, ma'am. Sorry."

"Excuse me, sir. Could you spare some...Hey! Don't do that!"
"You don't deserve that money. I saw that guy give you a twenty. Hand it over."
"No, please, I'm so hungry. Please, please, remove that knife from my throat. Have mercy!"
"Mercy? You think a bum like you deserves mercy? Oops, look what I've done. I better get out of here. Thanks for the twenty, asshole."