A Spiritual Awakening

This past week was an interesting week for me and I am so very excited to tell you that I lost 2 ½ lbs this week. Go Blyss! Go Blyss! Go Blyss! Okay enough of that, I am not one to brag. I am one of the most humble persons you will probably ever meet (I do however talk about myself when the situation calls for it because I can only speak for what I know). This week has been full of spiritual lessons and I would love to share with them with you, but I will refrain from telling you because what is meant for one person’s spirit is not meant for another’s. For example, I’m reading a book about Robert Carter, a Founding Father, who freed more than 450 slaves (that’s more than any single slave owner in the history of slavery in the U.S. and before The Emancipation Proclamation) with the “Deed of Gift” and because he was spiritually anxious (he was hungry and thirsty) and going through a spiritual awakening (he had to be in order to free that many slaves in a time when it was outlawed to do so) many things he wrote people couldn’t understand. For instance, in his book, “The First Emancipator”, Andrew Levy said:

For the first time…the modern reader of Carter’s writings could also see what John page meant when he insisted that the councillor’s mind was “confused”…He could refuse no religion, and no concatenation of religious ideas, absorbing so much doctrine with such rapidity that he began to maintain lists of who said what [among the different religions] (p. 84).

So for me to write what is going on with me spiritually will only confuse you and make me look insane. Trust me I know. When my ex-boyfriend died (he was a very spiritual person) and I wrote an email to one of my professors explaining my absence (I thought she would be understanding if she knew that we had a spiritual relationship), I’m sure she didn’t understand (in fact I’m willing to bet she got together with her professor buddies and laughed at the letter) because she excused herself as my mentor—more on that at a later date. But don’t fret you will get a chance to read all about it in the book. In the book I will be able to explain to you in more detail what a spiritual awakening is and what you could possibly go through. Every spiritual awakening is different for each individual; it’s like two people getting two different perceptions of one picture. So giving you a paragraph or two here is just not going to work in order for you to understand what I’m talking about.

But you may ask, how does she know she’s going through a spiritual awakening? I know this because my body and spirit is naturally rejecting certain things. It is my belief that the chemicals we put in our hair and the food we eat really does have an affect over our spirit (I still have more research to do on this so…).  But this is not my first time going through a spiritual awakening (which you will read more about in the book), the first was back in 2001 when I cut off the permed hair from my natural hair. It was never my intentions to let my hair go natural but with each lock I freed a part of me was freed spiritually. My eyes were opened in ways they were never opened before and I didn’t know how to explain to anyone what was going on or what was happening.  But I was given a peace and a sound mind and I understood that, even though others didn’t understand, I would still be okay. And guess what, it took time, but great things happened for me and I was okay.

I wonder when you stand naked in front of the mirror what is it that you see? If you see all your imperfections—or all your ‘perfections’—then you aren’t seeing much and I challenge you to look deeper until you see your spirit. I was given this challenge by a Public Speaking professor back in 2005 and it changed my life. The professor challenged the class to go home, look in the mirror, and find 10 things we like about ourselves. She said if we couldn’t find at least 10 then something was wrong and we needed to reevaluate ourselves. But I say, if you can’t find 10 things by looking at your outer-self, why not try looking on the inside. I will never forget the day I tried doing it, it was one of those days where I had to make a choice to change or stay the same.

I don’t remember where everyone in my house was (I do, however, remember my grandfather being in the hospital so most likely they were there), but I do remember locking myself in the bathroom and just staring in the mirror. Now at first my eyes deceived me, all I saw were my imperfections and I began to cry (If you try this and you happen to start crying do not walk away from the mirror just let the tears flow. You are cleansing your spirit of a harmful toxin). But then I began to see through my tears, and it was like I was looking through new eyes (here’s a line from one of my poems: “Sometimes looking through tears is the only way to see to a brighter day”). I began to notice all the things I loved about myself (my eyes, my nose, my lips, etc.), and then I began to see deeper into my spirit. I love my personality, my laugh, my kindness, and my humbleness. I believe it was at that moment I became completely comfortable with all my imperfections. Once you begin to see who you are on the inside no one can tear you down by attacking your outer garment. Know this: If someone can’t accept you for who you are on the outside, they are blinded and don’t deserve the beauty you possess inside.

Since I was young—younger than I can remember—I have always sat and watched people and how they acted and reacted. Now as a woman I watch people with a nonjudgmental critical eye for the sole purpose of gaining a perspective on what makes a human a human. What I have found is that people are so worried about their status and how other people view them, their possessions they obtain (to maintain that status) that can be gone in a split second (just ask the victims of all these natural disasters), their physical appearance that can be altered in a heartbeat (In 2008 my aunt was set on fire and by the grace of God she lived. Her appearance has changed, but who she is on the inside remains the same), that they pay no attention to their spirit which lives on after the body dies.

What I’m saying is that you may think you’re in control but you’re not, your spirit is in control. Think about it. When your spirit isn’t right (when you’re depressed, sad, or mad) or when you’re in “good spirit”, your mind, body, and emotion follow its lead. So why are you ignoring your spirit? You can exercise the mind and body all you want but what good is it without the spirit? So here we are on a new plateau. You know me on a more personal level, a level people rarely get to see. I hope I encouraged you to take a look within and get to know who you are on the inside. I hope you enjoyed your week, I especially enjoyed mine (especially those 2lbs I lost), but it’s time for me to go. Don’t be sad, God willing I will be here next week and who knows what will be waiting for you. I am willing you to have a blessed week this week. Take care of your mind, body, and most of all your spirit. Don’t forget to live, love, and be blyssful! If you want to send me a personal email or you want to discuss something in this email you can do so at [e-mail]