A moment of self redeption

I have not walked this grass so green, I have not touched these leaves that shade, I have not breathed the air that kisses, I have forgotten that this is life.

I have yearned for the nothing and forsaken the everything, the things that matter, what it is that is me and more than me, and yet I am overwhelmed by the thought that I can have it again.

Unwittingly caught in a mire of a self fulfilling claustrophobic despair, all joy ripped from my soul by the search for this very joy that envelopes me.

And yet this world forgives me, the sky danced as I acknowledged her presence, and whispered and giggled “so you noticed I’m here”.  Her endless depth has been concealed for so long by nothing except the narrowness of my mind.

I kicked a ball and smiled for no reason, I walked alone but so together. A notion of happiness filled my soul as I remembered how beautiful things can be.

I am ready for life again, so what have I been living? I fear I will forget this, I hope I remember, I truly do and yet I don’t trust I can, such is the strength of what I am not.

I want to keep this moment and forge it in my heart, to make this my mantra to enjoy everything that is, not what might be.  For what is is already perfection, it is perfect, I can be happy, I must learn again.

Hold this thought, hold this thought, I must not let it go.