Draw of Fate

Chapter One

I was strangely hyped up considering how little sleep I’d gotten the night before. As usual I was still awake into the small hours, and had uncharacteristically woken before dawn. I’d put the odd energy to good use tidying up my little flat, which was long overdue. Then I spent a couple of hours writing before settling down to some painting, which always relaxed me, except today. The project I was working on was a blue dragon perched atop a mountain, in a regal pose. As my brush added the fine details to the creatures’ wing I didn’t feel the usual release of tension.

I just had to get out of the house. I’d had itchy feet before, but this was different somehow, more of a compulsion. I grabbed my bag with a change of clothes, my camera and the usual notebooks etc and headed out the door. Before I knew it I’d been driving for hours and had no idea where I was or where I was headed. The being lost was nothing new so it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I had always had a terrible sense of direction, a problem which was only exasperated about a year ago by my moving to a completely unknown territory for me. I was just following the strange pulling sensation that had drew me from my flat, trusting that my instincts would see me safely where I needed to be.

It was almost full dark as I found myself driving along a narrow road that looked like the worlds longest tunnel with the tree canopy as the roof. A few miles along the tunnel of trees I got the urge to pull over at a seemingly random spot; the area looked no different to me than what I’d been driving past for the last couple of miles. The air outside was wonderfully cool and clean, clearing my head as I took a deep breath getting out of the car. Once again that strange feeling, even stronger now, led my direction. The wood I walked through felt ancient, I felt utterly at peace surrounded by the giant trees, almost protected somehow.

It didn’t take long before I saw a lightening up ahead, a campfire in a small clearing. As I got close to the clearings edge I could see the figure by the campfire clearly. It was a young man, somewhere around my own age, slightly scruffy dark hair, of a medium build. As he stood upon my approach I noticed that the strange pulling feeling had disappeared. I couldn’t think too much on that though, as standing not three feet in front of me was the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes upon. The warm, slightly crooked smile he aimed at me was breathtaking. I felt a smile form on my own face in response as my eyes moved up to meet his.

As our eyes met I felt myself sinking, floating, falling deep into his. They were the richest, most striking green, sparkling in the light of the fire. More than that, they were completely unguarded, open windows to his soul. Somewhere deep inside myself I felt pieces clicking together, like a jigsaw. At the back of my mind I realised this mysterious man was the reason I was here, it was him I’d been so inexplicably drawn to.

I had no idea how long I stood there lost in those eyes; I was so completely engrossed in the depths of them that I was unaware of any movement until we were face to face. His strong hands holding my waist, he was just slightly taller than me.

As he introduced himself “Hi, I’m Grayson, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” his deep, smooth voice sank into every fibre of my being, caressing my very soul.

I found my hands making their way up to rest on his chest just below his shoulders as I in turn told him my name. “I’m Anna.” 

My eyes had never left his nor his mine since they first met. Slowly he leaned in to kiss me tenderly. As his soft lips met mine I felt as though I was melting, a warmth spread through me. His strong arms circled my waist to hold me tightly as my legs turned to jelly under the wave of emotion. We stood, his arms tightly around me, my head resting against him for a moment while I, at least, recovered. I couldn’t be sure if the kiss had anything close to the same effect on him as it had me, but the sound of his heartbeat seemed to me to be quicker than is normal. I had never before felt as safe as I did with his arms wrapped tightly around me, his arms felt like home. I’d always believed in love at first sight, but at no point had I dared imagine that it would happen to me, I just wasn’t so lucky in that respect.

He took my hand and led me to sit by the fire. I took the opportunity to survey my surroundings before he could distract me again. The sky was crystal clear above the tree tops, the stars shining brightly in the deep velvet. The full moon appeared to be nestled amongst the tree tops, her soft glow illuminating the upper branches.

“Have you come a long way?” Grayson’s voice penetrated my consciousness, making me turn to look at him again.

My thoughts became muddled at the sound of his lovely voice and the sight of those piercing eyes. His voice sounded almost musical, it held some indefinable quality which was captivating, I could listen to him speak forever. It took a moment for my head to clear enough to answer his question. “I’ve been driving pretty much all day to get here, wherever here is. I just felt some sort of need pulling at me and found myself here, with you. Do you live far from here?”

He smiled that crooked smile again, this time I noticed his gorgeous dimples and my heart skipped a beat. “No, not far, I walk through these woods all the time, today I just knew I had to come to the clearing.” He looked deep into my eyes for a minute, as though trying to gauge my reaction before he continued. “Would you like to go to my house? I bet you’re dying for a coffee after being on the road all day.”

“Sounds great! Umm, which way is it to the road and how do I get to your place? I’d rather not leave my car by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere if I can help it.”

Grayson rose lithely and reached his hand down for mine. “Come on then, lets get your car and I’ll show you where I live.”

After helping me to my feet he put out the fire and led the way to the road where I’d parked, holding my hand the entire time. We walked in companionable silence; the only sounds were our footsteps on the forest floor. It didn’t take long to get to his house, the way was pretty simple even for me, and I just had to follow the road for a short way until I got to the turn off for the driveway.

At the end of the long winding driveway stood an exquisite house, situated in a large garden with the forest stretching off into the distance on three sides. The old stone building seemed to glow in the soft moonlight. I’d never imagined such a lovely place could exist outside of fairytales or movies.

The architecture was simply divine, what I could see at the front of the house at any rate. It had large bay windows to either side of the entryway, upstairs as well as downstairs. Ornate stone columns supported an arched porch, which held a pair of dragons above the columns. The detail and craftsmanship was amazing.

“It’s absolutely beautiful! You’re incredibly lucky to live somewhere like this.” I pulled my ever present camera from my bag, “May I?” I indicated the camera in my hand.

“Sure, go right ahead.” he smiled.

I snapped a few shots of the front of the house in its entirety, before zooming in to get some close ups of the details. I wanted desperately to paint this exquisite house, and I would need good photos for reference, the photos would be lovely to have for themselves as well.

Grayson held open the front door and smiling, beckoned me to go in, “Ladies first.” I didn’t think I could ever tire of his voice.

The entry hall was as picturesque as the outside of the house. The wooden floor seemed to glow warmly in the soft lamplight. The most adorable cushioned bench sat against the wall to one side and beside it an intricately carved coat stand. A beautiful curved staircase was at the far end of the room from the front door. Two doorways stood in the entry hall, one on either side, and hallways led off to either side in front of the staircase.

“Would you like the grand tour or coffee first?” He asked, pulling me from my reverie.

I smiled as I contemplated for a moment. I really did desperately want coffee, but my ever raging curiosity won out. “Can the tour end at the kettle?”

He laughed softly as he replied “Anything you wish.”

The tour of this most wonderful of houses started with the two rooms off the main entry hall. The one on the right was a lovely warm, cosy sitting room, complete with an open fireplace on the wall opposite the door. To my delight there was an upright piano in the room.

Grayson saw where my attention had focussed. “Do you play?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the question, as much as I loved the sound of the piano I could hardly call the noise I produced from the keys playing. “Play is such a strong word. I just love the feel of the sound of the piano, it’s like it speaks to my soul somehow. I guess you do play?”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favourite outlets, probably my favourite instrument. It’s not very practical for when you’re travelling though. If you like I could teach you to play?”

“I’d love that, thank you.” My hands were itching to touch the keys as he led me out of the room.

The other room was a study, it held a small sofa, a large armchair, a computer desk, a large very old looking wooden desk with carved detail around the edges and drawer fronts, and lots of bookcases lined two walls. The books I could see at a glance were somewhat eclectic. They varied from reference books on a multitude of subjects, to ancient literature, to modern fiction spanning all genres. The seating was positioned to give a good view out the large bay window. The plush armchair looked so inviting, I could almost hear it calling my name as Grayson took my hand and led me from the room.

He seemed to see the tiredness starting to take hold of me, almost before I was aware of it myself. Because instead of showing me round the rest of the house he led me straight down the hall to the right of the stairs to the kitchen. As we walked into the room he let go of my hand to place his hand on the small of my back and guide me to a chair at the kitchen table. As I sat down I could feel the weariness seeping into my bones. I also had a nasty caffeine withdrawal headache I hadn’t noticed before.

Suddenly there was a large mug of coffee sat down in front of me. I wasn’t sure if I’d nodded off or just slipped into my own little world, but I jumped half out of my seat when the fairly quiet noise of the cup being put down reached me. Grayson’s hands on my shoulders and gently rubbing my back soothed me along with his murmured apology for startling me so.

“Sorry, I’m pretty much always jumpy like that. I don’t do sudden noises or movements very well.” I explained, not wanting him to feel bad just because I was freakishly skittish.

“I’ll try to remember that, so I can be careful not to frighten you in future.”

I focussed on my coffee while he took his seat opposite me. I was worried that if I looked up I would get lost in his eyes again and my coffee would go cold. Man he made good coffee! Just the way I liked it too, I didn’t remember telling him how I took it.

I could feel my brain start functioning fully again by the time I was finished the cup. I replayed the day’s strange events in my mind as he got me a refill. This really was oh so bizarre, I had always been incredibly impulsive but this was pushing it even for me. Here I was goodness knew where, with a man I didn’t know from Adam, yet somehow it felt like I’d known him for all of time. I’d pretty much always relied on my instincts to see me through, had always blindly followed my heart without giving any time to rational thought. It was always just who I was, and I found out early in life that things run far more smoothly when you’re true to yourself.

I had to admit to myself that although my rational mind was saying there was something very wrong with the situation, I just couldn’t bring myself to be worried or freaked out in any way. Despite the warnings of the sensible voice in my head I was completely at ease, every fibre of my being simply knew everything was right.

Grayson’s gentle voice pulled me from my contemplation before he set my cup back on the table. “Here you go.”

“Thank you very much, I really needed a coffee or a few. I’m starting to feel almost human again already.”

He smiled the gorgeous smile as he replied “I’m happy to be of assistance ma’am.”

As he retook his seat opposite me at the table I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head. “Do you know what happened today? I mean how or why I had the strange compulsion to come here?”

My brain really didn’t catch up fully with my mouth until I’d finished speaking, otherwise I’d have chosen my words better. That had always been my way, speaking without thinking. It had gotten me into my fair share of trouble over the years.

Grayson wore a deeply thoughtful expression; once again his striking eyes looked into me before he answered my question. I could see him internally debating whether or not to answer me, and how much to tell me. When he finally spoke, it was to ask a question of his own. “Do you believe in fate?”

“Yes, firmly. I know that some things, both good and bad, just have to happen. They are meant to be and the universe will make sure that they do, one way or another.”

“OK, good. Do you believe in the possibility of magic, for instance that some wishes can and do come true?”

“Yeah, so is that what happened then?”

Grayson took a deep breath, clearly this wasn’t the easiest thing for him to talk about. “Well, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about fate, and soul mates. Truthfully, I was wondering if there really could be someone out there just for me. I also thought about how I would find that one special soul in the world, would fate make sure that soul mates were born in the same region or even the same country. Maybe fate would go so far as to make sure there was more than one chance for you to meet your soul mate, but surely you would have to be looking, need to be open to finding them. For most of my life I’ve been content to be single, or at least not looking for anything too serious. I travel a lot with my work and I’ve focussed on my career, I love what I do. Lately though, probably about the last year or so, I’ve been more open to the possibility of settling down and getting married. Not that I’d ever give up my work, more than I’m willing to accommodate someone else in my life. So to that end I did some research and decided to try giving fate a helping hand. This is gonna sound crazy.” He paused then, he’d been mostly looking into his coffee as he spoke, only glancing up briefly a few times. Now he looked at me intently, gauging my reaction to what he’d said, and deciding what to say next.

I smiled in encouragement “Go on. What sort of helping hand?”

“Like I said I’d done some research. I found a spell to call your true love to you. So a couple of nights ago I performed the spell, making sure I kept an open mind, afterwards too. Then today it was like I could feel you, I could sense you getting closer, I just knew I had to go out to the clearing to meet you. Freaky huh?”

It all made perfect sense. I’d always been a believer in the supernatural, I even had some first hand experience. It had been obvious from the moment our eyes first met that there was some kind of deep connection between us. Although I didn’t know anything about his life, I knew him, I knew the core of him. My soul and his had a bond before we had even met. Maybe we’d known each other in a past life or lives, I’d always been a great believer in reincarnation. It was my favoured explanation for the feeling of déjà vu you got in a strange place, when you oddly knew your way around and felt like you’d been there before, yet knew you hadn‘t. It also explained why sometimes when you first met someone you felt as though you had known them a long time.

I realised Grayson was waiting on my response and that I’d gotten lost in my thoughts when I saw his expression become a little anxious.

“No, it’s not freaky, it all makes perfect sense to me. I moved over here from the UK about a year ago on a whim. One day I just decided to pack up and go. I chose country and town at random, but now it seems that fate had something to do with the country at least. Everyone I knew thought I was crazy leaving my whole life behind to start somewhere new all alone. It was just something I had to do though, and it’s never once felt like I gave anything up. It was the best decision I ever made. It seems a bit too much of a coincidence, that I moved thousands of miles from everything and everyone I’d ever known, just around the same time that you decided you’d quite like to accommodate someone into your life permanently. Or maybe I’m just over analysing things.”

“Hmm, maybe you’re right. What made you decide to move so far from home and the people you loved?”

“It was never really home, I never once as an adult felt at home anywhere. I spent years moving around, hoping I’d end up finding where home was, I was a lost soul. It didn’t happen though, six months or a year down the line I’d get itchy feet again and move on. People would say I was a free spirit, flighty, that I hated to be tied to anyone or anyplace too long. I guess I am a bit of a free spirit, I don’t like to feel trapped or smothered and I do feel those easily, I need to be free to express myself and be creative. They didn’t understand though, I just couldn’t find what I was looking for…” I paused briefly, a little shy about admitting the next part, “That is until now.”

The love and joy in Grayson’s eyes at my words took my breath away. I was also incredibly relieved by his reaction.

“So, would you like to see the rest of our home? That is if you want to actually live here of course. Home is where the heart is after all.” He smiled that smile at me again and I felt my heart melt all over again.

I slowly stood, fearing my legs wouldn’t support me, and walked around the table to where he was sitting. As I reached him he turned in his chair and pulled me onto his lap. I put my arms around his neck as I leaned in to kiss his luscious lips, his arms wound tight around my waist. It was a tender, loving kiss, the kind you see at a wedding when the bride and groom share their first kiss as husband and wife. Had anyone been watching the two of us they would have found the whole affair ludicrous. To us, it just felt right, we were lost souls reunited and complete at last. I lay my head on his shoulder, and just sat there enjoying the gentle embrace.

Chapter 2

I woke up feeling groggy and confused to bright sunlight glaring in the window. A noise penetrated my consciousness, that must have been what woke me. The banging persisted, getting louder. It took me a moment to realise it was knocking at a door.

Bleary eyed, squinting in the brightness I looked around as I called out “Just a minute.”

I was surprised, unpleasantly so, to find myself in my own bed. I got up and staggered through to answer the door, pulling on a robe as I went.

I opened the door to find one of the few friends I’d made since moving here, who was also my agent, looking rather irate.

“What time do you call this?! Mrs Taylor will be here for her painting any minute and you’re still in bed?!” Kelly all but screamed at me as she walked in.

“Huh? What time is it anyway?” I was seriously confused; I would have sworn I wasn’t at home last night. Was it all just a dream? If it was it was the most vivid dream I’d ever experienced. I could still feel his touch on my skin, the feeling of his lips on mine.

“It’s gone one thirty! Now get cleaned up! I hope you finished that painting last night!”

What painting did I need to have ready? I’d been working so much for the last few months it was all becoming a blur of paints, canvas, paper and ink. I was lucky to have Kelly to keep me as organised as was possible for me, I just wasn’t an organised kinda person. As my art was my passion I always had my projects finished in plenty of time, but I did often forget about things like meetings and exhibits, those were just minor details to me. Kelly had kept track of my appointments etc for me almost since I moved over here, she was my saviour, my best friend and business associate.

I staggered into the bathroom and quickly showered. The warm water helped wake me up but didn’t quite lift the confusion. The dream seemed so real, I’d driven all day and met the most extraordinary man. He was going to teach me to play piano, I’d fallen asleep in his arms.

I quickly got dressed in the first clothes my hands came to and pulled my wet hair back into a messy French roll. I was an artist, no one expected me to look smart. They expected an eccentric dress sense and wild hair. Truthfully I was just still too caught up in my strange dream to care what I looked like, under normal circumstances I wasn’t what most people expected.

Kelly had made me a coffee which I gratefully gulped down as the kettle was reboiling for number two. The warm shower and hot coffee had woken me up enough to remember what my latest project was. I took the second cup into the front room which doubled as my studio. I wanted to see if I had somehow finished off the painting of the blue dragon. To my absolute horror I saw that I hadn’t. Sure it was passable, but the tiniest details were still to be done to the creatures wings.

“You’ve really outdone yourself this time Anna, this piece is stunning.”

How odd, she really meant it. Maybe it was OK as it was, but I knew it wasn’t finished. There was no time to fix it though as the client who had commissioned the piece was on her way to collect it. If Mrs Taylor wasn’t happy with the level of detail then I could complete my work, but if she liked it as it was I wouldn’t get the chance. I was in two minds about how I felt about that, on one hand I wanted her to love it, on the other I wanted to get to finish it properly the way I saw it.

A knock at the door interrupted my musings, Kelly went to let Mrs Taylor in. As she led her into the studio I stepped forward to greet her.

“Hello again Mrs Taylor. How are we today?” I said reaching out to shake her hand.

“Hello Anna, lovely to see you again my dear. I’m fine thank you, and yourself?”

“I’m good thanks. Your painting is right over here.” I gestured to the easel which was facing away from us across the room.

I led her over to the canvas but stayed behind it. I watched Mrs Taylor's face closely as she stepped around and saw the painting for the first time.

Her jaw dropped slightly and her eyes popped wide. “Oh my! It’s absolutely perfect!” her voice sounded awed.

I cringed internally as I smiled warmly at her, I wouldn’t get to finish it. “I’m very glad you like it Mrs Taylor.”

“Like it? My dear Anna I love it!”

Kelly stepped forward to handle the business side of things then, it wasn’t that I couldn’t do it myself, I just preferred not to. As she led Mrs Taylor away from the easel I carefully took down the canvas and wrapped it up for her to take away. I was sad to see this piece go, I’d had so much fun painting it, and it had been a real challenge. Most people commissioned paintings of real things or people. The sort of things you used reference photos for, there was a very clear outcome expected by both the client and the artist. Mrs Taylor's commission on the other hand was far more freeing artistically and far trickier. My vision of a regal blue dragon and hers may well have differed greatly. It is very rare that two people share exactly the same artistic vision. Either Mrs Taylor hadn’t had a clear image of what he wanted it to look like or my vision proved more attractive than hers. I favoured the former as her instructions for the work had been somewhat vague. She had simply requested an oil of a regal blue dragon.

As Kelly saw Mrs Taylor out I got my third cup of coffee in thirty minutes and settled into a chair. I tried to pull my head together, pick out the last memory I had that I knew for sure to be real.

I became aware of eyes on me and looked up to see Kelly standing in the doorway watching me, her expression a mixture of concern and curiosity.

“I’m fine, I just had an odd dream is all. I slept way too long and it’s left me heavy headed.” I said before she could ask.

She didn’t look convinced but didn’t press the issue. She took a seat and started flipping through her diary.
“OK, so you don’t have any more commissions booked at the moment, but you do have an exhibit opening tomorrow. Please tell me you’re ready for that.” she said still flipping the pages.
It took a minute for me to remember what exhibit she was talking about.

“Yes, I’m ready for it Kelly. Mostly everything has been sent to the gallery already, there’s just a few pieces here still to go, but they’re packed up waiting. I’m also ahead of my deadline for the publisher.”

I was feeling testy from my disjointed memories, but she should know how much my work meant to me. This morning was the first time I’d ever really dropped the ball, and even then everything turned out alright.

“Good, now, I’ve booked the pianist for the show, and he’s in a band who I’ve booked for the party afterwords. Have you sorted an outfit out?”

I felt myself cringe visibly, that was the part I truly hated, the parties. I loved my work, and I loved showing off my creations, I hated being paraded around like a piece of meat. These events always felt like that, a cattle market. It wasn’t so bad during the show itself as I could keep the conversation focused on the art. The parties however were another matter, people wanted to get to know me more personally, some a little too personally for my liking. I often felt like my work was being sold on how I was presented, rather than people being interested in me for my work.

Seeing my reaction Kelly knew I hadn’t given any thought to what I would wear, and seeing her own expression worried that I would turn up in my typical jeans and scruffy tartan shirt. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.”

She walked into the kitchen to make a phone call, I could imagine her telling whoever was on the other end how I’d been so focused as usual on the art and completely forgotten that I had to be presentable myself.
Could we please have that spectacular dress and matching accessories she’d asked them to hold. The other person would surely laugh before saying it wouldn’t be a problem, the clothes can be picked up anytime. It was the same for every exhibit, she really should know better by now.

I’d finished my coffee and was tidying my hair up a bit when Kelly came back.

“Right that’s sorted, once you’re ready we can go pick up your outfit.”

“Sure,” I sighed grabbing my bag and keys “let’s go. We can take the rest of these to the gallery while we’re out.”

We loaded the paintings into Kelly’s car and she drove us to the store. As we entered the assistant greeted us enthusiastically.

“Ah, Miss Smith, and Miss Davies, so lovely to see you both again.”

Kelly always brought me here to dress me for an exhibit, she loved the store. I wasn’t much of a fashion girl so I generally disliked all fashion stores equally.

The assistant led us to a dressing room and brought me the outfit Kelly had chosen. As always I was horrified and more convinced than ever that she was trying to sell my art based on how much flesh I had on show. The dress, if you could call it that, was a deep red with spaghetti straps, a plunging neckline and backless but for a cris-cross strap across the shoulder blades.

Knowing I would hate it, I dutifully tried on the dress anyway. I must admit it fit perfectly and did look good on me, if majorly tarty.

Kelly loved it of course “Oh you look amazing Anna! Very sexy, you’ll be the envy of every woman there!”

“Perhaps something a little classier?” I asked the assistant.

Once she was away I turned to Kelly. “This is meant to be an exhibit of my art after all, not my body. My artwork may be for sale but I am not, so I’d rather not give the impression that I am.”

To be fair to her, this was the first time that Kelly had gone this overboard with my wardrobe. The thought that maybe this was punishment for never sorting it out myself flashed briefly through my mind.

“I just thought it was time you showed off that great figure of yours. You’ve been single the whole time I’ve known you Anna, never been on so much as a date. I know guys ask you out and you say no. I just thought that maybe if you felt sexy you might say yes to someone, that’s why I picked that dress.”

Kelly’s view of me was something I could just never see. I knew I wasn’t fat or ugly, but I didn’t see myself as sexy or beautiful either. My curvy figure, while unfashionable was something I was happy with. I was fairly fit and healthy which was the important thing, besides I’d never liked the super toned six pack look on women, I just didn’t see that hard sort of shapelessness as very feminine.

“I do wish you would stop worrying about my love life, or lack thereof. I just haven’t met anyone I’m interested in yet.”

“But I’ve seen hot guys ask you out and you always say no!”

“It takes more than a pretty face and a buff body to catch my attention Kelly. If a guy looks great but is as thick as two short planks then I’m not interested. Plus you know I don’t like the body builder look, too much muscle just isn’t attractive to me. Besides who wants to be with a bloke that spends all his time in the gym, and takes longer to get ready than you do?” I laughed.

The assistant returned then, stopping Kelly from badgering me further, she had a selection of other dresses in her arms. I disregarded the two black ones instantly, I was bored of black as Kelly tended to dress me in it because it showed off my fair skin. I spotted a less revealing dress in the same lovely shade of red as the first which I was still wearing, I took that to try on.

The dress was perfect, a full length affair that clung in all the right places but didn’t have everything hanging out. The neckline was low but tasteful showing just a little cleavage, there was a long split up the left side allowing easier movement and showing flashes of leg. I loved it.

“Wow! OK yeah that’s definitely the one!” Kelly said as I pulled back the curtain.

The good news was as the new dress was the same colour as the one Kelly had chosen the shoes and clutch bag she’d picked out still matched, much to my relief.

We stopped by the gallery to make sure everything was in order, and to drop off the last few paintings. Kelly and the gallery owner were busy talking business, leaving me to hang the paintings we’d brought and check that the rest were displayed properly. Two pieces had to be swapped around as they were each part of a set and had been hung with the wrong sets. Those pieces would be the hardest to sell, because they told a story the set must be kept together, although many people who bought art didn’t understand this and merely wanted a ‘pretty painting’ to hang on their wall.

Once I was satisfied with the display I idly wandered over to the baby grand piano in the corner. Running my fingers across the keys I was overcome by a memory of seeing an upright piano in a large but cosy sitting room, an incredibly handsome young man offering to teach me to play. The memory was so vivid, so real it was jarring. To calm myself I sat at the bench and began to play, letting myself go in the music, feeling it, becoming lost in it, the notes echoing within me. The painting in my peripheral vision was of a house I felt I knew yet didn’t remember painting, it seemed somehow to go with the vision of the piano and it inspired the music flowing from the keys.

That’s where Kelly found me goodness knows how long later. Her hand on my shoulder pulled me from the feel of the sound and the sound of the feeling, bringing me once more to the art gallery.

“Sorry, everything looked good and I just couldn’t resist.” I said a little sheepishly.

“Don’t be sorry, that was beautiful, we’ve been listening for a while. What was it you were playing?” the gallery owner sounded sincere in his praise.

Noticing him for the first time upon hearing his voice I blushed. “I was just messing about, letting my hands wander the keys.”

“Well you should do it more often, you are as gifted with the keys as you are with the brush.”

Still blushing profusely I managed to mumble “Thank you kindly.”

We left then heading back to my little flat. As we got to her car Kelly looked at me thoughtfully for a moment before opening the door.

“You were really zoned out back there, I called your name a few times before I gave up and touched your shoulder. You sure you’re OK?” she asked once in the car.

“Yeah I’m fine, honestly, I just got lost in the music is all. I wish I could play well enough that we didn’t need to hire a pianist.”

“You’re good enough to play at exhibits Anna, but it just wouldn’t be right for the artist whose work is on show to be behind a piano the whole night.”

“I guess not.” I sighed.

We drove the rest of the way in silence, I was deep in thought. Wondering about the beautiful house I’d apparently painted and forgotten about. Once again I tried to pin point the last memory that was absolutely real, the disjointed feeling was irritating. We got back to my place and I stuck on some music while Kelly made coffee.

“When did I see or speak to you last?” I asked once we were seated in my now empty feeling front room.

She looked at me like I’d lost my mind but answered my question. “I spoke to you yesterday afternoon, you were waiting for the dragon painting to dry so you could add detail. Why? Can’t you remember?”

“Yeah I remember, I just wasn’t sure of the time is all. I guess I’m just exhausted, losing track of time more than usual.” OK so everything after that was questionable, but at least I had something concrete.

“Maybe you should take some time off after the show tomorrow. You really have been working hard lately, and you can afford the time since you’re ahead of schedule with the book.”

I laughed at the thought of time off, “I’d still be working though Kelly, you know me. I just wouldn’t have any time restrictions. That’s why I work so much, because I love what I do, it’s who I am, stopping isn’t an option.”

“Yeah, your right.” she laughed. “So are you gonna lemme see what you’ve got so far?”

I grabbed my laptop and handed it to Kelly opening the book file for her. While she looked over my photo choices and accompanying poetry I turned off the stereo and settled down at my old battered upright. It had been too long since I’d played until today. Picturing the strange yet familiar house in my mind I let the music flow, it felt forlorn, a yearning to find what was lost. Desperation flowed through me and into the music with the feeling of desolation. No longer in my front room at the piano, the scene before me is far different. In a small clearing with a warm campfire a beautiful man is holding me in his arms. The desolation evaporates in his presence, replaced by a sense of belonging and overwhelming joy. Faintly in the background the melancholy music flows into something sweet and tender.

A new hand grabbed my shoulder shaking me, I came back to my front room with a jump, bringing an ear wrenching sound from the piano.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you but you were miles away.” Kelly looked worried.

“I’m sorry Kelly I don’t know what happened, what were you saying?” I assumed she’d been talking to me in order to notice my abstraction.

“I said this looks really good. What came first, the poetry or the photos?” She was looking at me like I was a crazy person. I had to admit to myself I was feeling a little like a crazy person.

“Some of the poems were inspired by photos I already had, others I deliberately went looking to get a shot to go with. I think I want to send it in as it is. What do you think, is it ready?”

“I think so, they can only say what if anything they want changed, but I think it’s perfect now.”

Sending the file felt good, it was another project completed, I just hoped the publishers saw it for what it was and didn’t want to change it. I was protective over my creations, especially my poetry, every word on every line held a little piece of my soul. Having earned a good reputation and recognition for my art it was hoped that my book would do well. For myself it was just something I wanted to do, I had come up with the idea of a photo and poetry book. I loved making art, and art should be shared, if no one saw it, it couldn’t be appreciated but I wouldn’t compromise my vision.

“I’m starting to get really worried about you Anna, promise me you’ll take a break after tomorrow night. If you think you’ll be too tempted to work then go away somewhere for a few days, just relax and recharge your batteries.”

Ugh, now I was feeling guilty for worrying my best friend with my strange behaviour. I couldn’t even try to put her mind at ease, because I had no idea what was going on myself. Nor could I make her any promises about taking time off, I just wasn’t the sort to sit around by a pool doing nothing.

“I’ll see what I can do, lets just get tomorrow over with first eh? Besides, you said yourself my schedule’s pretty much clear for a while now anyway, so I can just do what I want in my own time. What about you, are you taking a holiday? You work just as much as I do.”

“That’s different, I’m not the one who keeps zoning out all the time.”

“My brains just been fried with working on so many different things, I’ll be fine now the books dealt with. I can get back to normal, stop worrying, you’ll get wrinkles.” I teased laughing.

We just chilled out then, chatting about inconsequential things for a couple of hours before Kelly made a move to leave. “Right I’d better get home, I’ve got some work to finish up, I’ll be over tomorrow afternoon.”

“OK I’ll see you then, sorry again about earlier.”

She laughed, “Don’t worry about it, it all turned out fine. See you tomorrow.”

Alone again I didn’t have to pretend normality, oh how draining it was to be acting constantly! As much as I loved my friend, she just didn’t quite understand me, no one ever really had, I just wasn’t the same as other people. My mind worked differently, I valued far different things than most people. I had very little time for the silly, crude so called reality shows people raved about for one. The bubble gum pop or dance music Kelly tended to listen to seriously grated my nerves. Music should have feeling, songs should have some meaning. I believed in fate and karma and guardian angels and reincarnation and that magic was real in the world.