R.A.T.E. page 2

Liza wasn't always an alcoholic. Before Dimitri came along Rowan and Liza were never seen apart. Her father wasn't in the picture, her mother didn't talk about him and she didn't care either way, as long as she had her mom. Liza and Rowan looked alike with the exception of eyes, cheekbones and hair texture. Rowan took her father's dark brown eyes, sharp sculpted cheekbones and soft curly hair, whereas Liza had hazel colored eyes, rounded cheekbones and straight hair. They traveled a lot and moved just as much. The last place they lived before Dimitri found his way in their lives was Virginia. They stayed there longer than they did anywhere else. Rowan was happy there and had a lot of friends, teachers loved her and it seemed like nothing could go wrong. At least that's what she thought until Liza started her search for the father Rowan never had and man that Liza always wanted. The relationship they once had plummeted as Rowan spent more and more time alone while Liza spent her days at work and her nights any- and everywhere but home. When she did come home it was too late for Rowan to be up and she always had a new male visitor to spend the night with. The men never met Rowan and they always left before Rowan was due to get out of bed. Every morning was always the same, the men would leave, Rowan would wake up a few moments later, get ready for school and walk the quarter-mile to the school building. She always held onto the last shred of hope of having things change between her and Liza but she never believed things would change the way they did.

One afternoon, when she got home from school, she noticed that her mother was home and not getting ready to leave her alone. She began to feel that little shred expand when she walked unnoticed into the kitchen doorway to find Liza cooking dinner. She saw that the table was set for 2 and could barely contain the happiness that fluttered behind her ribs. She walked quietly into her room and wanted to surprise her mother. She washed up and changed into a pretty pink dress with a green laced collar and hem. She went back into the kitchen doorway, after looking herself over, and greeted her mother politely. Liza stopped humming and her head whipped around with the look of utter shock. Rowan would've been satisfied that her plan had been a success but instead she felt disappointed when she saw that her mother hadn't been surprised but disturbed.
"What are you doing here?!" Liza exclaimed at her. She became flustered because she didn't mean to upset her mother.
"I... I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I just wanted to surprise you, I didn't mean to anger you." Her mother looked as though she'd forgotten something as sadness crept into her beautiful face, distorting her features. Liza chose her words carefully as she looked Rowan over.
"Hon, I'm having a date and I didn't realize that you'd be home." She claimed that she thought she would be at a friend's house but Rowan couldn't hear anything else after that as she grew still as a statue. The doorbell rang, cutting Liza off mid-sentence, and her mother practically pushed her into her room as she answered the door. Rowan sat on the floor by the door and listened as the deep-voiced man made her mother giggle for hours. It didn't take long before they went into Liza's room and the walls blissfully vibrated. Rowan was held captive in her state of sorrow as she cried on her dark bedroom floor. When her tears grew cold and dried her being of every drop of water her body possessed she realized that everything around her had become silent. She got up and changed into jeans and a t-shirt, got a water and walked out of the apartment. It seemed as though she was walking without a brain before she finally looked up and realized that she had walked to the park that wasn't too far from her school. She stared out at the sky while lightly swinging until dawn. She figured that the deep-voiced guy would be gone by the time she got home so she walked back to the apartment feeling the soreness in her butt and thighs from sitting on the swing for so long. She moved slowly up the 2 flights of stairs to her door. Her first order of business was to quiet her dinner-less stomach with a bowl of cereal. She didn't expect to see a man sitting on the living room couch watching television when she walked out of the kitchen, and by the look on his face he didn't seem to be expecting an 8 year old girl to live there. She ignored him as she sat down and looked out the window. She could feel his eyes burning into her as she ate her cereal and pretended like he didn't exist.
"Hello," said the the deep-voiced stranger. She stopped chewing, caught off guard, and she slowly looked over at him. She cautiously allowed herself to take in his features. He was a slightly burly white man, about 6ft. in height, disheveled dirty blonde hair standing up on his head and stubble growing in on his chin, and green eyes that were now staring her in directly in the eyes. His chiseled appearance suggested he was roughly 30 years old. She began chewing again and turned her attention to the small children running around in the grassy courtyard below the window. The man didn't seem to realize that he was being ignored as he asked if she was Liza's younger sister. Rowan's head almost flew off of her neck as she shot him an appalled look. He was aware that he had said something wrong and he was about to say something else when Liza walked into the living room. Her hair was still messy from the night before. She looked from him to Rowan and back with guilt etched in her face. She looked at him and said "I see you've met my daughter, Rowan." His expression to this news was a bit odd, almost as if he was trying to figure something out. Liza didn't bother introducing him to her so she turned back to the window and brought the bowl of milk to her lips and finished her breakfast with a small gulp. She went to the bathroom after she washed her morning dishes and brushed her teeth and hair. She opened the door 10 minutes later to find her mother's eager eyes staring into her.
"What do you think of Dimitri? Be honest."
Rowan didn't want to seem rude or hurt her mother's feelings but Liza told her to be honest so she opened her mouth and said "I don't know him and I don't want to know him." Of course her mother wasn't looking for that answer and she got angry, which didn't surprise Rowan as much as it should have.
"You just don't want me to be happy," Liza snarled. She stared at her mother in disbelief. Liza added on "I'll have you know that Dimitri just told me that he is willing to be your father and move us into a house." She stomped back into the living room and Rowan felt that sliver of hope slip away. She'd lost her mother forever.