Waiting

         I'm always waiting for the pain to end, for my life to be normal. I tell myself lies: that I'll be a normal seventeen year old girl, but, in truth I know it will never happen.          Sun shone through my light blue curtains, a slight breeze rustling the thin fabric. I hit the 'off' button on my alarm clock, kicking off my covers. I stood up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. My bare feet slapped against the hardwood floor of my bedroom until I reached my bathroom. I turned the knob and pulled the door open. I grabbed a towel and hung it on my sliding glass door. I quietly undressed and pulled open the glass door. I turned the water on and stepped in. The warm water ran down my body, causing me to relax eminencly. I traced the black lines that covered my arms. I sadly starred at them. They're the reason why I can't be normal.

         Dressed and ready for school I left my quiet home. My foster parents were already gone, requiring me to walk to school. I sighed as my black vans made a soft patting noise on the pavement.

         I stuffed my hands in my jacket pockets when I reached my high school. I looked all around the courtyard, seeing all the labeled groups, standing together noisly chattering. My short blonde hair blew in different ways as I made my way to the only oak tree on school grounds. It was my sacred place, and everyone knew it. I had my name on it; literally. I carved many of my poems onto the tree, not caring if anyone read them. I sat up against my tree and pulled out my iPod. It was a small iPod Nano, I'd had it since I was nine. It wasn't the best, and stores didn't carry them anymore, but, it was all I ad when I was in the orphanage. It helped me through everything. My music was my soul wrapped up into a big package. If my music was gone, I was gone. No one ever tried talking to me when I had my headphones in and my notebook out.

         I shook off my backpack and dug through the crumbled papers for a pen, then, finding one, I grabbed my notepad. I silently put my earphones and began writing. When I finally looked up from writing, I noticed that everyone was walking towards the school's main entry. The bell had rang. I put everything away, and walked towards the back of the school. I reached into my pocket and pulled out an old rusted key. Fumbling a little, I unlocked the janitors' closet. I breathed in the smell of cleaning supplies while sifting through the locker that was there just for me. I pulled out a ragged black binder with math scribbled in the left hand corner. I hastily stuffed it into my backpack and hurried to room 103.

         I entered the classroom just as the tardy bell rang. I sat in my usual desk in the very back. I surveyed the room, finding that everyone was here.I angrily slit my eyes when I caught the glance of Shiann. She was the school whore. But, still, everyone loved her. Everyone but me. I hated her with every bone in my body. She slyly smiled at me, then continued talking to her boyfriend of the week. I gritted my teeth together, then let out an angry sigh. It wasn't worth it.

         The teacher walked into the room moments later, causing everyone to abrubtly stop their gossiping and sit in their desk. The small, petite, and flawlessly pretty teacher spoke up. "Good morning, students. As you all know, today we will be taking a test that is worth almost more then half of your semester grade." Several groans were heard amoung the class, causing me to roll my eyes. "You will have as much time between the time that you recieve the test, to the time that the bell rings.If I find out that you cheated, you will automatically fail, most likely leading you to repeat this grade. Understood?" There were a chorus of okays from the class, and with that, our teacher passed out the tests. I grimly scanned over the test. I frowned when I noticed that the test had already been finished. I shyly rose my hand and the teacher came to me. "Yes?"

         "I think you may have gave me the answer key." She frowned and took my test, flipping through the pages, carefully looking them over.

         "What do you mean, Miz? I don't see any answers on this test, not even a name." She placed my test back on my desk and perkily walked to her desk. I frowned, picking up my pen. I scribbled my name on the paper and read the first question. Easy, A. I glanced at the bubble that had the answer beside it. I bit my lip a little, seeing the answer already filled in, but, I silently filled it in again, darkening it.

         By the end of the class only nine of the fifteen students in the class finished, I happened to be one of the nine that had finished. At one thirty school let out. I made my way to the janitors' closet and opened my locker. Everything in it had vanished. My mouth parted in the shape of an 'o'. I slammed my locker shut. It was probably some gay prank that people find entertaining. I noticed that they hadn't put papers on the outside of my locker like they normally had. The papers always said 'freak', 'emo', or 'nobody' on them. None of them fased me, though. I adjusted my backpack, and walked off of school grounds. I took the long way home, not really wanting to be bomb barded by my parents. The smell of freshly baked bread filled the air, a sure sign that I was almost home. My house got closer and closer, the smell of bread growing stronger.

         As silent as possible, I opened my front door. I glanced into the hallway to the left of me. Nobody. I kicked my shoes off and darted towards the stairs. Still not a sound from my parents. I quickly hopped up the stairs, and ran into my room. I threw my backpack onto my bed, turning on my light. My room was spotless, everything tucked away into its spot. I frowned, Jani, my mom, had cleaned my room; again. I grunted, hating it when she did that. I dug around, looking for my paints. Eventually I found them, and placed them on the easel, where I had half a painting on a canvas. I didn't really know what I was painting, but, it was a mixture of purple, dark blue, black, grey, and white colors. I couldn't really describe what shapes were used, either. It looked like a three year old had gotten into his mom's eyeshadow. I grabbed my brush, my favorite one, and added to the painting. When I was finally called for dinner, my painting was looking a little more decent. Not by alot, though.

         I washed up for dinner and walked into the sparkling white kitchen. The table was set: forks, knives, spoons, plates, napkins, and wine glasses glimmered from the small amount of light from the setting sun. I turned my eyes to the food, everything was steaming hot. Jani had cooked turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and fresh bread. I sat down in my usual spot, in the middle of my parents. My father, Evan, held his out for mine. "Say grace." I nodded.

         "Thank you Lord for the amazing food that we will eat. Please bless the food that we will savor upon, and thank you for this day of life. Amen." Jani and Evan repeated amen, and began serving the food. Jani placed a heaping pile of mashed potatoes on my plate, smothered in gravy. She placed a thinnly sliced piece of bread right beside it. I quickly moved it so it wouldn't mix with the mashed potatoes.

         Jani frowned, "You really ought to grow out of not allowing your food to touch each other. It's disrespectful to touch food with your fingers. I do hope you washed up." I nodded, not really listening. I picked up my spoon, and placed my other hand in my lap, as Jani had taught me to do. I took small bites of my mashed potatoes, not really hungry. I gently set my fork down.

         "May I be excused?" Evan looked at me and frowned, but, reluctantly nodded his head. I fist pumped in my mind, thankful for not having to sit at that depressing table anymore. I raced into my room, grabbing my wallet. I counted the money that was stashed in it. $92. I carefully slipped the wallet into my pocket, then pushed my curtains aside from my window. I unlocked the window, a small click sounding that it was unlocked. I gently pushed the window up, making it large enough for me to fit. I carefully wiggled out of my window and onto my roof. I jumped from my roof to the ground, which wasn't a very far drop. I landed with a soft thud. I brushed my jeans off, and began walking into town.

         The lights from the small town danced around me. I walked to my favorite place to be, a small cafe. I pulled the door open, the bell above me ringing to notify my arrival. I sat at a table in a corner, away from everyone else. My waitress took my order of coffee and returned with it in minutes. I took a few sips from it, then pulled my iPod from my jacket pocket. I placed my earphones in my ears, and drowned out the world around me. By the time I was back into reality, the cafe was empty. I blinked a few times and grabbed my now cold coffee and left.

         The streets were deathly quiet, sending chills up my spine. I rubbed my hands together, warming them. The moon was covered by dark clouds, indicating the threat of rain. Perfect, just what I need. Rain poored down on top of me as a small white car slowly passed me. I couldn't see into the car, the windows too tinted. I continued walking, telling myself that I was almost home. I silently looked behind, the sidewalk empty. I walked a little faster, trying to arrive home sooner. Every step that I took made me feel dizzy and weak. My legs felt like they would give out at any moment. I suddenly fell, my legs numb. I hit my head hard on the concrete, then everything went black..