To my dearest friend:

This is a love letter I wrote in 10th or 11th grade. I hope it helps others with the same difficulty understand their feelings.

My dearest friend-
Confession: I've always been completely honest with you, but I hide the fact that whenever I see you or think of you, the tempo of my heart speeds up. Every time I say your name, I smile. I love it when you look at me and laugh. I am a fool in love with the laughter.
I thought I could be happy as just your friend, and I am! But I hate having to hold back my embrace to keep inklings of my true feelings from your mind. I can hold on a little longer, but one day I will run to you, shouting your name and “I love you!” and I will throw my arms around your neck and whisper in your gorgeous ear, “I love you.”
Hopefully, you will look at me and laugh and say, “I know.” And I’ll say, “No, you don’t understand. I want to be at your side every day. I want to know you and have you know me for who I am. I want to show you my feelings without restraint. I want to help you when you are hurting and carry your burdens with you. If I saw you every day for twice the length of my life, I would never become tired of you.” And then I’ll say your name with a smile, “I love you.”
Hopefully, you will take my hands and say my name with a smile, too. You’ll say, “I know, and I love you too.”
For now, though, I am content. I’m content to make a fool of myself to draw laughter from you. Even if I thought I could make you happy, I can’t be with you. There are so many logical reasons waging war inside me every day. Inside, I wish you would notice me as more than just a friend, but I know in my mind that I can’t let that happen. I hope that now you understand how someone like me could become such close friends with just one person. Why someone like me would reveal so many deep inner thoughts in conversation. Why someone like me, uncomfortable in the presence of people, would choose to be with you at every opportunity. Why someone like me, who exudes a hard and sarcastic exterior, would listen intently to every word you speak.
Forgive me. And if you must, laugh and look away. Someday in the future I will meet someone like you, someone I admire and trust and find attractive, but someone who is able to return my unlimited love.
Love, love, love (What a miraculous word!),
Myself