Love You Always

A small white box wrapped with pink ribbon sat in the middle of the teak table in the dinning room. A white card lay beside it and printed on it in neat black handwriting, were the words - “Love You Always”. Below this Dan had signed his name. Jane stood in the doorway clutching the single red rose wondering what the box contained. It had to be something special for Dan had never disappointed when it came to giving gifts. He had a wonderful eye for art and each item given by him had come to have special meaning. Her gaze wandered to the black mantelpiece above the marbled fireplace. Here sat a silver slender vase engraved with a heart, empty now but on her birthday always contained a single red rose. Beside the vase was the jade cat grinning happily away, a present received from Dan a year after they first met. It held special meaning for it had shown how much he understood her, knowing the things that delighted and pleased her. She had readily accepted his proposal later that evening when during dinner he had produced a ring. Glancing at the nearby glass shelf she saw the pair of glass swans, the autographed book by her favourite author, the framed photograph of their wedding day and many other gifts, which she had received from him.



She moved to the fireplace to place the red rose into the silver vase, pausing before she did to look at her reflection in the black oval mirror above the marbled fireplace. An old woman stared back at her, the face engraved with wrinkles, her hair once blonde now a slivery grey, bright blue eyes brimming with tears, and pierced lips that trembled. She tried to regain her composure, her hands clinging to the golden teardrop locket that hung around her neck. It was as if she was trying to summon strength from the locket, yet the effort was in vain for it seemed only to increase her anguish. Unable to stand, she sat down on one of the teak chairs and buried her head in her hands letting the tears flow over them.



After a time had passed, she composed herself, got up and placed the red rose into the vase. Then taking the teardrop locket up into her hands she moved her fingers slowly over the etched dove in mid-air. Her hands beginning to tremble as she started to prise open the locket. Opening it she revealed hers and Dan’s faces. Dan, her whole world, the photo showed a man in his early thirties, short raven black hair with a stern expression. She smiled to herself as she remembered the many times he had tried to remain serious or pretend to be angry only to fail miserably for it was always quickly replaced with a smile and a hearty laugh. She treasured all the moments they had shared together, and it was these moments that gave her strength, especially when she was alone and in need of comfort.



The shrill piercing ring of the telephone awoke her from her thoughts. Grateful yet annoyed by the interruption she made her way to hall, sighing to herself for she wished now that she had got a modern telephone instead of the old fashioned one which stood in her hall.



“Hello”, she said nervously hoping that the call wouldn’t last too long.

“Happy Birthday, Mum”.



She let out a sigh of relief for it was Emily, her daughter. Her only child, a child she had been forced to raise on her own. She would have liked more but sadly things were not to be.



“Thank you dear, how are you all doing?”



And with that Emily proceeded to tell her how all the family were doing, how Susan was much better now and back at school. How Jake now that he had found his feet was running everywhere and getting into mischief. And yes, Pete was enjoying his new job and working hard at it.



“Do you want me to call by this afternoon, Mum?” Emily asked.

Jane sighed to herself, today of all days she preferred to alone.

“Thanks for the offer dear, but you know I’d rather be on my own. There are things I must do and I would like to do them alone”.

“Sure Mum, I understand. Well I’m here if you need me. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye”.

“Bye dear, thanks for ringing”.



Jane smiled as she put the phone receiver down on the hall table so that there would be no more interruptions today. Her daughter Emily seemed to understand unlike many others, both friends and strangers, who over the years seemed to constantly, impose themselves upon her world.



Angus, her black Persian cat meowed from the kitchen door. She knew that he would continue with this noise until he was fed. She made her way to the kitchen, and began to make herself a pot of tea and a bacon sandwich. All the while Angus purred happily away at her feet. When all was prepared, she sat down at the small kitchen table, the cat jumping quickly onto her lap, waiting eagerly for the bits of food to be passed down to him. On days like today, he always had the greater portion. With the food all gone Angus jumped down and went straight to the patio doors pawing at them, waiting to be left out. Jane sighed to herself, Dan would be horrified at how spoilt the cat was, but over the years Angus had been a great companion.



Rising from the table she opened the door for the cat and then set about cleaning up the breakfast things. She glanced around the kitchen looking for something to keep her busy so that she would not have to think about the memories that this day brought. Finding nothing else to delay her, she made her way again back to the dining room.



Entering the room, her gaze as if drawn by an invisible force, returned to the white box on the table. The box wrapped in a pink ribbon and beside it the little card – “Love You Always – Dan”. Over the years the ribbon had become faded, and the box tarnished with specs of dust that had refused to be removed. The little white card damaged by teardrops. The memory much too powerful to be remembered without tears. Each year, on her birthday, she had told herself that she would open the box, yet it had remained unopened. She would fail, overcome with pain and anxiety, and wake up the next morning safe in her bed with the memories locked away for another year. As the years passed it had been easier to deal with the memories for she was busy with life, raising her daughter, tending the garden getting it to look as they had always dreamt it would. She had even taken up a job as a shop assistant in order to keep herself busy. Lately, however things had become harder, old age had slowed her down confining her to the house. She found herself tormented by the fact, that she did not have much time left. It pained her to think that she might never know what beauty lay inside the box. Such a little box, its contents could be revealed in seconds, yet it held so much significance and with it came so much pain, anger and hurt stopping her from completing this simple and easy task.



Trembling, she reached for the card, reading it slowly word by word.



“Love…You…Always…Dan”.



Once more the card suffered a barrage of endless teardrops. Fearful of causing any further destruction she carefully placed the card on top of the box. Feeling weak and trembling from head to toe, she sat down upon the matching teak chairs.  Along with the table they had been a wedding present from her aunt. An aunt who had always been there for her. A friend who had listened to her without passing judgement. But like all things, everyone withers and dies. The same thing that was now happening to her, something she fought constantly but knew she was fighting a losing battle.



Unable to remove the painful memories from her mind, she returned to that day forty years ago when her whole life had come crashing down. A day like so many others but fate had brought with it cruelty and torment.



She had been awoken by the morning sunlight streaming through the gaps in the curtains. Her first reaction was panic. She must have slept in. Dan would be late for work. She reached out to the small alarm clock to check the time, but it was not there. In its place was a single red rose. It was her birthday and as normal he had got up quietly on his own to give her a rest. Today was her day he had always said. Her day to treat herself and to fill her time as she wished. Picking up the red rose she smiled to herself, and pulling on her dressing gown she made her way downstairs to place the rose in the silver vase.



She had many plans for the day for it had become a tradition that when Dan arrived home they would go out for dinner. She knew that once again he had probably made reservations at some upmarket restaurant so she had made an appointment for the hairdresser. Also she was going to meet a friend for lunch and buy herself a new dress. She made her way into the dining room to place the rose in the silver vase on the black marbled mantelpiece. She glanced at the table and saw a white box wrapped with pink ribbon. Beside it lay a card signed by Dan saying “Love You Always”. This year, unlike the other years, she would be strong and resist opening the present until he came home.



She had put on her coat and gone to town. Her mood was light and happy as she arrived home only to find his Dan’s mother sobbing uncontrollably on the doorstep.



“Miriam, what’s wrong, is Ted okay?” Jane had enquired thinking that her Father-in-law must be sick once more. Over the past year he had become much weaker and his bouts of sickness seem to last for longer periods each time.

Miriam looked up tears streaming from her face.

“He’s gone, Jane. I’m sorry, he’s gone”, and more tears came flowing from her eyes and her cries got louder.



Although the news was not unexpected Jane had not expected it with such finality, she sat down beside Miriam putting her arm around her, sharing in her grief. She would have to ring Dan and let him know, he and his father were close, but first she would try and be of some comfort to Miriam.



“Come on, Miriam, let’s go inside and get some warmth and maybe a nice cup of tea.”



Miriam seemed oblivious to her words and would not budge. Getting up Jane opened the door and put on a pot of tea. On her way out to retrieve her mother-in-law she took the phone off the hook. She went outside and putting her arms around the grieving woman’s waist she half dragged her inside, sitting her down at the kitchen table and forcing a cup into her hand.



Miriam looked up at her forlornly.

“I am so sorry my dear. Here I am being a burden when it is I who should be comforting you. I wish Ted could have given you the news, but these days as you know he is not capable of going anywhere.”



Poor woman, thought Jane, nodding her head, she is really shook up still talking about Ted as if he was here.

“Family and friends are for support, you were always there for me Miriam. Dan and I will do whatever we can for you”.



With this Miriam’s sobs and wails grew louder, pushing the cup away she buried her head in her hands.

“He’s gone dear, he’s not coming back. There was nothing they could do, by the time help came he was dead”.



And there the two women sat there in silence, grief overcoming both. Jane mourning deeply the loss of her father-in-law.



A sharp knock came on the door, Jane ignored it, who ever it was would go away. After they were gone she would phone Dan at work and break the news to him. Her aunt’s voice came calling through the door.



“Jane, it’s Maggie, are you there?”



Jane got up, it was Maggie her aunt and a very good friend.



“How are you doing?” inquired Maggie concern showing in her face.

“Miriam is with me, she is very distraught”, Jane let out a weak smile.

“And you?” the concern on Maggie’s face seem to grow.



“I’m okay, it’s not a big shock, everyone expected that it would happen sooner rather than later. Though we all hoped it, we all knew deep down that Ted would never fully recover.”



Jane clearly remembered the look that appeared on Maggie’s face. She grabbed Jane by her shoulders and moving her into the dining room forced her down onto one of the chairs.

“Jane, It’s not Ted. It’s Dan. Dan is dead, killed in an accident on his way to a meeting. Dan is gone, he is not coming home.”



Jane’s mind returned to the present, focusing on the box in front of her. Her heart pounded and her hands shook as she tried to reach out and touch the box. Steeling herself she reached out slowly, picking up the card and placing it carefully beside the box on the table. She took the ribbon untying it carefully, for so long had the box remained that she did not want to damage any part of it. Letting the ribbon fall onto the table she carefully opened the white box.