A Taxidermist's Heart

         I always thought about death. There were just so many forms of it that it was hard not to. Old age, murder, execution, accidents, and then there were all the types that went under those. It is ridiculous how many options one could have just to off themselves, but no one really considers those. I guess when you’re a taxidermist, things are different. I’ve stared down at the cold, emotionless eyes of dogs, cats, deer (and squirrels from time to time), and just wondered how they chose their end. Sure, most of them were just bodies that I had picked up from off the side of the road, but I’m sure that a few of them were creative enough to drown in a lake. Speaking of which, I had been working on a small doe that had done just that.

         Alexandra (I had taken the liberty of naming her) was a cute thing even as her body lay cold upon the hard metal of my table. Her soft skin was neatly sliced and separated from her torso, revealing the deep crimson hue that I so abhorred. Something about red always bothered me. My tongue clicked against the roof of my mouth as I gathered the materials for the cast, all of which were sprawled in separate areas around my office. Soon enough though, I returned to finish her up, reanimating her muscles into a pose that I preferred. Neck lifted up and her glass eyes staring off into the distance, she could have rivaled Bambi.

         That was how I spent the majority of my time. Aside from sleeping and eating, I didn’t bother with anything else. Mother would complain to me from time to time about my need to breed, but I rarely listened to what she had to say. Until I met her anyway.

         Her name was Prudence Waters, and she was perfect in every way. The first time I had seen her was in high school, and even then she was the same. I often wondered if her only imperfection was during those awkward years of being a baby, or did she coo a symphony of songs? Did she walk like a model on her first try? And did she eat without even the slightest bit of drool upon her chin? I watched and thought of her even now, the fire in my heart still flowing like a wildfire. She would often sit outside the café across from my office with the same two girlfriends, Thing 1 and Thing 2, and eat a small salad. Her legs were always crossed, her plaid dresses was always at knee length without a single fray, and her long, blonde hair was always pulled back without even the slightest of stray hairs. Her conversations would never go unheard, I know I listened to every single word, but it was her reactions that really got to me. I loved the way she scrunched up her nose when she heard something distasteful, or the way her eyes lit up every time she saw a tray of food. I caressed her cheek in pictures so many times I lost count, and I longed for her touch against mine. I adored her.

         I decided to be adventurous one day and go to the grocery store. Bread always had a quicker expiration date than I could anticipate, so I was constantly dealing with mold. It wasn’t too bad though, eventually you learned to cut around the blue and white fuzz. Making my way into the store, the combination of Lysol and grains beat itself into my nose and my throat instantly became dry. I was always a fool for going there. The store was fairly small, so the markers for the aisles’ contents were missing in action. I would always get lost between cereals and frozen treats, and this time was no different. I paused for only a second in spices to catch a glimpse of a plaid dress just a few feet away from me. My heart nearly collapsed.

         “Excuse me, Prudence?” I managed to spit out, my heart beating profusely.

         “Yes?” Her voice sang to me.

         “I’m sorry. I just noticed you from across the way and thought I’d introduce myself. I’m Jacob. Jacob Enderby. I work across the street from the café.”

         She seemed confused for a moment, but soon a look of realization replaced it.

         “Oh! Jacob. Of course. You’re the one that stuffs animals, right?”

         I was thrilled that the lowly syllables of my name had just fallen from her lips, let alone that she knew of me.

         “Yes, that’s me! The animal stuffer.” I laughed insanely like an idiot, even I could hear myself. Yet somehow, she still managed to smile at me, and I knew that I had found the one in her. I could already imagine myself spending the rest of my days with her, and I could see our children playing with the models that I made. It was all so perfect.

         “Prudence, I have a question to ask you.”

         “Yes?”

         “I hope I’m not being too quick about this, but would you mind getting dinner with me tomorrow night?”

         My hopes were raised, and I knew that she would agree. Prudence and I were already wonderful together, and I’m sure that she had realized that. She took a deep breath, and for some reason her gaze shifted from me to the saffron on the shelf.

         “I don’t think so, Jeffrey. I mean, you’re nice and all, but I hardly know you. It wouldn’t be right.” My heart was crushed, and apparently my name had changed in her mind, but I wouldn’t be defeated.

         Weeks passed since the incident at the grocery store, and I asked her once more in the bakery. She stared at the cupcakes and quickly refused. I asked her again at the clothing store, but she was too busy looking at the new dresses to say anything. The last time I asked her was at the bus stop, and she was too interested in the crowd to notice the bus that hit the curb and ran into her beautiful body. Prudence never stood a chance.

         At the funeral, I stood at my window and observed the crowd that gathered around the cemetery. I had bought the property long ago in hopes of catching the random animals that had met their untimely end around such a place, but I had never expected seeing my one and only love buried there. I held my own little service since I wasn’t invited to the actual one, and placed her favorite flowers, red roses, upon my desk. She was gone, and once more I was left alone.

         Months went by slowly, but more and more animals found their way onto my mantelpiece. I noticed that no one really wanted their pets immortalized anymore, or wanted any decorations for their homes, so I kept them more often than not. Soon enough though, even the dead animals that I used to find on the side of the road started to deplete.

         “Jacob, you have to get out of that house. People are beginning to talk.” Mother often complained. At least that was constant in my life.
No matter what I did though, or how much my mother nagged me, my eyes would always be drawn to the cemetery outside my window. Her grave was still fresh, still new. I would visit it from time to time and just talk to her until I was kicked out of the place. Unfortunately, that was fairly often. Gregg, the caretaker, hated me with a passion that I couldn’t understand. He made it a task in his day to day business to heckle me for staying too long on the grass or for leaving too many flowers on her grave. I would never be rid of his constant nagging when I passed the gate to the cemetery, but that didn’t stop me from going there to see my beloved. Death couldn’t keep us apart.

         It was because of that single phrase that the most interesting idea came into my mind. I could bring her back to me, just like all the animals I had returned to life. She would be my ultimate companion, and my loneliness would finally deteriorate. With that hope in my mind, I grabbed the lone shovel in my garage and waited for nightfall.

         Stomping through the cemetery at one o’clock in the morning was never my fantasy, nor was digging in my beloved’s final resting place, but it had to be done. Even as a rush of chilled air breezed past me, I continued to dig through the dirt. For what felt like hours, I only came up with dirt clods, but I finally hit something. I brushed away the dirt that covered her silver encasement, and my heart raced with anticipation. It was as if I could feel her warmth behind the cold metal. A soft sigh eased through my lips as I began to lift open the top of it, and there laid Prudence in all her earthly beauty. No bugs had gotten to her, as if they knew I would be coming for her. What smart insects they were! I had lifted her up from her temporary bed and onto my shoulders when bright light ruined my euphoria. It was Gregg, and the size of the shotgun at his side was more than disheartening.

         “Well, well, if it isn’t Jacob Enderby. Why am I not surprised?” His voice rang with amusement, as if he had been waiting for me all along.

         “This isn’t what it looks like, Gregg.” It was everything that it looked like and more.

         “Oh, I think it is. I’ve got to hand it to you though. I never thought that you’d be so disrespectful of the dead, especially Miss Prudence.”

         “You wouldn’t understand!” I stammered.

         It was clear that he didn't, not with the barrel of his gun pointed at my head.

         "Put her back, Enderby."

         I couldn't do that, not when I had come so far! I gripped the hard wood of the shovel, my heart beginning to race once more. So many thoughts were swirling through my head that I couldn't concentrate, but I knew what I had to do.

         "All right." I finally replied, shifting my body slightly to ease her back down.

         Gregg's gun lowered with my actions, just as I knew it would. My muscles reacted before I could think and before I knew it my shovel was smashing into his hideous face. His throat emitted a low groan as he fell forward into the hole, the coffin easily accepting its newest addition. The wood of the shovel burned against my fingers, and I was sure that even it knew my fate. I was going to Hell for Gregg, but I knew that I deserved the Heaven that would be given to me through Prudence. The adrenaline slowly subsided as I nudged the top of the coffin closed just as the white interior started to stain with red.

         He lived a long life. My thoughts reminded me, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like throwing up. He deserved it. I choked a little as I pushed dirt back onto the grave, covering up my deed. No one will find out. No one but me.

         I moved into my office the next day with Prudence in tow, temporarily hidden in a bag amongst the furniture that I decided to move over. I would be spending most of my days there anyway, so I figured mother could do without one of the couches for a while. I didn’t even care about the nagging that was sure to follow over it. I could only imagine seeing my beloved’s face every single day and doing my daily activities with her included. Sure, children wasn’t exactly in the mix anymore, but I could still grow old with her. Everything was still on track.

         My heart lifted once we were together at my table in the office, her skin radiating from the glow of the single light above us. She was still gorgeous, even if she wasn’t wearing her normal plaid dress and her hair was sprawled messily across the metal. “I love you.” I voiced, prompting our first kiss as I began the procedure.

         Several days passed until she was finally done, but it was all worth it. The time, the effort, it was all for her, and she was perfect. The smile upon her lips reminded me of the grocery store where we had first spoken, a day that I would never forget. “And you called me Jeremy.” I reminded her with a sigh, pushing a stray golden lock from her face. The memory reminded me that I needed to get bread once again, except this time I would be making for two. Oh, the thought was so splendid.

         I moved her off from the table, her weight nothing compared to what I thought it would be, and set her down upon my favorite seat within the office. Prudence loved it there; she didn’t even need to say it. With another soft kiss on her cheek, I made my way out the door to the store.

         Shockingly, I found the bread rather easily this time. It must have been an omen to the good times that were ahead of me with Prudence. I just knew it! Even the sirens that pierced the air didn’t bother me like they usually did, because I was looking forward to going home. I was looking forward to the kiss that I would receive for just being there and finally the joy that would fill my body for finally not having to eat by myself. The future just seemed so bright. So bright that it seemed like an inferno had encompassed my new home. Oh wait, that was reality.