So much for my happy ending

I sat at the computer and typed a very long message to everyone I love/loved. In the background 'My happy ending' from Avril Lavinge was playing. It was the perfect song to describe what was going on in my love life. I finished up the letter to all of my friends. I wasn't going to write a special letter to each of them, because they weren't special enough to be able to earn it. I only wrote a special letter to my two best friends; Chelsea and Kami.
Chelsea. She was my best friend since I moved to the Hell Hole that is Nebraska. She was always there for me, and I love her to death. We hung out all the time, and soon we just started drifting. Chelsea is 2 years younger than me. Everytime we hang out, we have nothing to do, because we already did everything. I love her so much, but we're just growing apart. I see her as my little sister. I'll miss her with all my heart, she was what everyone would've wanted in a little sister.
Kami. She was, she's my life. I love her. She was one of my first friends I got in school. She is super cool, really funny, and the best person to hang out with. She was kinda goth, so not a lot of populars liked her. But she was like a goddess in the scene/goth world. Ever since my life completely went down hill, she was the only friend that cared to try to help me. She's like my therapist, and I hate to lose her. She lives so far away though. I live in Bellevue, her in Papillion. And she has so many other friends, so she barely has time for me. She rarely replies to my texts or IMs, but without her there at all, I'd go completely insane. I love her so much, but I feel like I'm going to lose her.
Life is unfair; I have a mother who always blames me, a dad that cares a little too much, a sister that's too perfect, almost no friends... and then there's my love life.
I've only had 3 boyfriends before; Riley, Ryan... And Dylan.
Rohan couldn't even count to be a boyfriend, but I have to say he might've been the best. We 'dated' in first grade, but we did love each other. Never kisses, only hugs. But then I moved, and our relationship stopped.
Ryan. Best friends since 2nd grade. I like him in third grade, but he wasn't interested. Than, in 6th grade, he asked me out. We dated for 5 months. We never kissed, but we hung out A LOT since he lives down the street. But one day he fell in love with my friend Frankie, and broke up with me. I got over him in 7th grade.
Dylan. He.... we just broke up. He moved to Nebraska sometime in the middle of 7th grade. At first we never talked, but one day I talked to him on facebook and we became best friends. More even, not best friends, but not dating. Sometime in March he asked me out, and I wanted to say yes so badly... but I was afraid. It took me a long time to get the nerve to say yes (thanks to Kami) but by that time he already had a girl friend. At that point I felt heart broken, because we were so close and I really wanted him. But we grew stronger, and one day I told him I felt so bad because I wanted to say yes but I was afraid. He told me he wouldn't hurt me like other boys. He called me his fatal attraction. Summer vacation finally came, and he broke up with his girlfriend. I was exstatic. It was at the pool. Me, Kami, her boyfriend Alec, and Dylan all went swimming. But there was a problem... Andrew. He wanted to date me since third quarter of school, but I've always said no. But that didn't matter. Dylan asked me out that night.... It ended so quick. One week. I wanted my first kiss... but it didn't happen. I'm waiting for him to keep his promise of still being friends... but he always breaks promises... so I doubt it.

Love hates me. I just want to move. But I know I wont. I need friends, love and an understanding family.
My mom. I am exactly like her. That's the problem. We're constantly fighting, constantly getting mad at eachother. We don't understand each other. She doesn't understand me. She constantly screams at me to clean. She tells me not to swear. But I do. She does. All the time. I have to, it just... i don't know. But she doesn't know. None of my family does. I just wish she'd understand me more.
Dad. I look exactly like him. I'm the biggest daddy's girl you will ever meet. I love him a lot. He's the only family member that cares about me. But he's really... I don't know, clingy? He constantly checks up on me at random times for random reasons. He constantly asks me if I'm okay, because he knows I'm not. When I do tell him though, he always takes the other side; mainly it's mom problems. But I never tell him any other problems, because they're too big to fix. But he constantly tries to get me to tell him what's wrong. I wish... I don't know, I wish he'd just figure out there's just some things I can't tell him... and that sometimes I just need some space.